Listen To Them

I have told you what I have seen with my own eyes and have heard with my own ears.*  I myself have experienced this love.  Feeling this love, I have also felt joy.  

I invite you to welcome Jesus in the poor person in front of you.  I invite you to listen to the homeless person before you.  

Welcome into your heart the impoverished people next to you.  As you become acquainted with the destitute person near you, and as you come to realize that this person is not as unlike you as you had thought, feel the joy that comes from loving your neighbor as yourself.**  Amen.  

* 1 John 1:1 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Hopefully Move Forward

The last year has been lovely.  God has shed His grace upon me.  Through His grace, He has empowered me to do His will.  I feel that I have done what He sent me here to do.  And so it seems that the time has come to move on from here.  

And so on January 1 I will move back to the hermitage.  I feel God is calling me back there. 

I imagine you are wondering how this conclusion intersects with my previous discernment to leave the hermitage.  

Although I did not explicitly say so, when I left the hermitage to serve poor persons, I was overwhelmingly focused on rejoining the Peace Corps.  I re-applied to the Peace Corps near the end of 2015, and in early 2016, Peace Corps informed me that they could not offer me a position.  

I applied or at least inquired with other organizations serving impoverished people abroad.  Either I didn't hear back at all, or at other times it didn't work out with those other organizations.  
Thus in time I came to realize that one reason I left the hermitage, to serve poor persons overseas, was not materializing.  I let it go, and so the path I thought I was following turned out to be taking me not as far away as I had envisioned.  

Since it started becoming clear I wouldn't be moving to another country again, I began to ponder serving poor folks here in the states.  Having been a Catholic Worker in San Jose before I moved into the hermitage,  I began to think about once again being a Catholic Worker.  

After a brief stint last summer filling in for my friends at Casa de Clara, the San Jose Catholic Worker House, I moved in here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  After not too long, I began to get to know homeless folks here in Redwood City.  I came to witness the sense of community amongst those living on the streets here.  I became much closer with them than I had ever felt with homeless folks anywhere else.  And so I have felt much fulfillment as I have served people living on the streets here.  

And yet I have gradually, steadily, increasingly felt more and more spiritually malnourished despite how I have continued the spiritual practices I deepened at the hermitage.  I read Scripture.  I attend Mass.  Yet I have consistently felt that God has been calling me back into more solitude, more silence, more stillness, more contemplation.  I have felt that God has been calling me back into the deep prayer which monastic life fosters, and then will flow whatever service to poor folks naturally, organically arises out of monastic life.  

I feel too that God has given me the grace to make vows to Him.  I know that I can make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience to Him.  If I were not to do so, I would be wasting graces God has given to me.  If you know me well, you know well that I cannot stand wasting what God has given to us.  God has given us marvelous gifts: we should not only appreciate and use well His gifts, but thank and praise and adore and glorify God who gives us such magnificent gifts.  Out of gratitude to Him, I do not wish to be the servant who buries in the ground a coin or coins he has received from his Master.*  I do not wish to be the servant who wraps up in a cloth the coin He has received from His Master.**  

I used to think that God had not empowered me to make a vow of chastity.  Perhaps I was correct.  What I do know is that at times I have prayed to God for grace, and He has given it to me.  I have recalled how Our Blessed Mother Mary told Saint Catherine of Laboure that so many people do not receive certain graces because they do not ask for them.  I have seen for myself how it is true that you can receive a grace you have not had if you but ask for it.  

And so I will be moving on with a desire to use well what God has given to me.  I wish to invest well the talents God has given me, so that I may make more,*** just as Jesus teaches us to do.  

I look forward to trying to use well the gifts God has given to me.  I face forward into the future, though parting under these circumstances is bittersweet, and not just for me.  

I think of the homeless woman who once again I'll call "Kimberly."  She has shared her pain with me, and so she and I have come to appreciate each other.  Despite her sorrow, she has expressed to me that she wants to understand my reasons for leaving, and the goals I hope to reach, so that she can better support me in my decision to leave here.  

I think too of the homeless woman who again I'll call "Anna."  As she has been considering my moving away, in the context of how she has been well aware that she must repent and do her best to sin no more, she has confidently proclaimed that at the very least, she will see me again in eternity.  

I am greatly consoled by these mature words of faith, hope and love.  I am encouraged by the spiritual growth these words of sureness convey.  I am comforted as I adjust to leaving here, knowing that such faith resides amongst those who are homeless here.  

Thus I know that I am not deluding myself when I say that I have seen homeless persons rising up here.  I can move on since I have seen real growth and progress among them.  

I am reminded that recently a certain homeless woman who I'll once again call "Jane" showed up here at the Catholic Worker House.  She had rung the doorbell, and in speaking with a Catholic Worker here, she expressed gratitude, saying, "Thank you for helping me to rise up."  Jane too has been rising up from where she had been, to a better place, proven by the gratitude she has expressed.  

I have also seen with my own eyes how a certain woman, who I'll call "Helen," has also moved forward in her life.  Helen used to be homeless.  Now she lives in her own apartment, which I have seen.  I need not doubt her progress, which is evident.  

I hear and see all this proof of rising up with my own ears and with my own eyes.  As my time here draws to a close, I am encouraged by what I hear and see.  

And so, as night has fallen today, so too the twilight of my time here as a Catholic Worker is also upon me.  Yet as this night is upon us, I am not in despair, for a new dawn is rising up in homeless friends I have made here.  This dawn I have been seeing break open in them gives me hope, a hope which stretches beyond them, into the wide community of humanity.  This hope extends beyond this lifetime, into the limitless expanse of eternity.  The fruits of this faith, hope and love will be seen in eternity.  In eternity, we will see the consequences of our faith, hope and love.  

Let us move forward in faith, hope and love now, so that we may live in love for all eternity.  Amen.  

* Matthew 25:18,25 
** Luke 19:20 
*** Matthew 25:20,23 

Lovingly Respect Yourself

Yesterday I saw a certain homeless woman who I'll once again call "Sally."  As I've previously mentioned, Sally has repeatedly suffered domestic violence at the hands of partner after partner.  

Last night Sally shared with me that now she looks for warning signs that a man will abuse her.  She is trying to avoid getting into relationships in which men will mistreat her.  

By requiring her next partner to respect her, Sally is choosing to respect herself.  She is realizing and embracing her own dignity.  Sally is choosing to love herself.  

Loving herself, she can then love her neighbor as herself.  To love our neighbor as ourselves*  just as Jesus taught us, we must love ourselves.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Find Him Helpful

This morning I was unloading boxes from the van into the Catholic Worker House.  Each time I returned to the front door it was closed, just as I had left it.  

One of these times I got to the front door and a homeless woman, who again I'll call "Anna," was there on the front porch.  Anna came over to me and asked how she could help.  I requested that she unlock the front door as I handed her the keys.  She not only did so, but once I had gone into the house, she closed the screen door behind me.  I was grateful for her help since I could not easily manage both carrying so much as well as opening and closing the door.  

By contrast, one of the other times when I was at the front door this morning, I was struggling with a stack of boxes.  Anna had left.  A couple of women who did not look homeless were on the front porch, glancing around at available donations that had been left there for anyone to take.  They did not inquire if they could help me in any way, and they departed as I was struggling with what I was handling.  

The homeless woman, the social outcast, was the one who offered me the help I needed.  We can find people willing to help us in those who are the least among us.  We can get help from Jesus in those who are the least among us.*   

* Matthew 25:40,45 

Learn From Them

Today I heard the truth.  A man corrected a misperception someone else had of him, even though he could have let it continue.  I found his unsolicited honesty refreshing and beautiful.  

Once again the homeless man who I call "Manuel" sat before me.  A woman there with us said that Manuel had stopped using illicit substances.  Immediately Manuel set right this misconception about him.  "No, I'm using," he confessed, meaning that he has been using an illicit drug.  

"Oh, I thought you had stopped," she said.  

Again he could have let this inaccurate image of him continue, but again he told the truth.  "I did stop, but I started again.  I'm using now."  

From a homeless drug addict, I was instructed in the truth.  Jesus, who is The Truth,* comes to us in those who are the least among us,** and comes to instruct us in the truth.  

We can learn from the least of those among us.  We can learn from Jesus, who is still lovingly and persistently coming to us in the poor.  

We can learn to love honesty from those who are poor among us.  We learn about love from Jesus, who is in those who are the least among us.  

Let us listen to those who are poor.  Let us listen to Jesus.  Amen.  

* John 14:6 
** Matthew 25:40,45 

Humbly Request Prayers

The doorbell just rang.  When I opened the door, there stood a certain homeless man I'll once again call "Manuel."  He softly and gingerly inquired whether he was disturbing me.  I smiled as I assured him that he came at the right time, trying to welcome him.  He humbly asked me to pray for him.  

If people ask us to pray for them, they show they are humble.  It takes humility to request someone's prayers.  

In seeking someone else's prayers, we admit that we cannot navigate life's difficulties on our own.  When we would like another person to pray for us, we indicate that we realize that we need help in petitioning God.  

When we turn to God, we demonstrate humility.  If we are humble, we give God what is due to Him as we recognize our true relationship with Him.  Realizing that we are nothing without Him, and that we can do nothing without Him,* we are humbled before Him.  Seeing that God has given us all we have, with much gratitude, we thank Him.  Once we have humility, we become who God created us to be, and so we come to praise, glorify and adore Him.  Amen.  

* John 15:5 

Listen To Him

When we are indifferent to what we have, we do not cling to it.  If we value our friends more than our property, we can forgive them if they lose it.  As we value our friends, we help them to value themselves.  

We witness this indifference to property in those who society casts aside.  Thus if we listen to those who have nothing, we can learn from them.  As we embrace the least of those among us, so we welcome Jesus into our hearts.  

I have seen these truths lived out by my homeless friends who I'll call "Luke" and "Katie" here.  Luke had loaned his bicycle to Katie.  She made a stop on the bicycle, and at that spot was sitting and talking with another friend.  A little while later, Katie got up to go to the bicycle, but she didn't find it since someone had taken it.  "Oh, no!" Katie exclaimed.  "Luke is going to kill me!"  

Later when I saw Katie again, I asked her how Luke reacted to the news that his bicycle had been stolen.  She related that Luke had shrugged and had off-handedly remarked, "It's just a bicycle."  

Luke was indifferent about the bicycle.  He was able to forgive Katie for losing it because he valued her friendship more than having that bicycle.  

Valuing her more than property, Luke has helped Katie to value herself.  Forgiving her, Luke has freed her from the bonds of guilt and regret which had been enslaving her.  Loosed of the chains of regret over how she had acted in the past, Katie is free to move forward.  Luke has encouraged her to see herself as more than certain choices she has made in the past.  He is detached from, and is indifferent to what he has, and so he is empowered, by letting go of what he has, by not having anything, to help her let go of the destructive conceptions of herself that she has had.  

To look at Luke, one merely sees a quiet, unassuming, unpretentious individual.  He collects and hauls large volumes of recyclable materials, and brings them to the recycling center to earn a little income.  He is an impoverished, homeless man living on the streets.  

From this poor man, one could conclude that one has nothing to learn.  Yet from this man living on the margins of society, one can receive instruction on the need to be indifferent about one's possessions, or about which course of action to take, much like Saint Ignatius of Loyola counseled.  From a social outcast, one can be taught valuable spiritual lessons.  

Jesus, who is present in the least of those among us,* comes again and again to teach us.  Those who are homeless around us can help us see how to move forward.  In how we respond to them, we determine what we learn.  

In how we react to social outcasts, so we respond to Jesus.  Whatsoever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.**  

* Matthew 25:40,45 
** Matthew 25:40,45 

Look For Light

Tonight the doorbell rang.  I answered it.  Out of the darkness came the answer I sought.  

Before me stood a homeless man who I'll once again call "Manuel."  Suddenly Manuel reassured me, "God sees everything you do.  Do not doubt that God knows all the things you are doing.  So just keep on doing what you're doing."  

Often we can wonder whether we're making a difference, and if so, how much of a difference we're making.  We can sink into spiritual desolation if we start to think that we're not accomplishing much.  

I find it apropos that it was today that Manuel came and gave me this particular encouragement.  Today we celebrate the feast day of Saint John of the Cross, who wrote about how one can journey through spiritual darkness.  

We can feel that we are not receiving much spiritual consolation in the midst of our toil.  It might seem as if we are laboring without it being clear what we are really doing.  

Yet in the midst of this spiritual darkness, a light shines.  A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not put it out.*  

After night had fallen tonight, the doorbell here rang.  At the door I found a homeless man who presented me with a spiritual candle, lit in the darkness, and bringing to me light through the hope he was urging me to maintain.  

Jesus comes to us in those who are poor, in those who are outcast, in those who are the least among us.**  Jesus comes to us and encourages us to keep moving forward, even when we are in darkness.  

Jesus is the light of the world.***  He shows us the way since He is The Way.****  

When we find ourselves in darkness, if we look for the light He is giving to us always, since He is with us always,***** we will see The Way.  Even in darkness, we can see Him, and so we can see The Way home to Our Heavenly Father.  

* John 1:5 
** Matthew 25:40,45 
*** John 8:12; 1 John 1:5
**** John 14:6 
***** Matthew 28:20 

Lovingly Find Fulfillment

I have been encouraged recently by a particular homeless woman who I'll call "Julie."  In her tenacity and commitment to her goals, she has been reassuring me that she loves herself and will keep caring for herself.  

Julie had been aiming to get some certain personal business squared away.  She had been working on it in increments, at times enlisting the help of some of her friends.  

In the last week, Julie finally finished the daunting task.  After she had completed it, she and I exchanged high fives.  

Although Julie has suffered from depression, she is rising up out of her despair.  She has found that antidote to depression which productivity provides.  

More significantly, she has started to value her own self, and so she has been making decisions which reflect her realization of her own self-worth.  Appreciating herself, she acts accordingly, loving herself.  

Loving herself, she can love her neighbor as herself,* just as Jesus taught us to do.  Love is the fulfillment of ourselves and of others.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Gratefully Become Ourselves

This morning I saw a particular homeless woman I'll once again call "Kimberly" here.  She announced that she has been sober for three days.  

She shared with me that when she went to be interviewed for the outpatient rehabilitation program she will soon enter, they didn't proceed with the interview because their computer system was down.  They said they'll interview her in two days.  

Immediately Kimberly expressed her contentment with the situation as she noted, "Well, then it'll be even better, since I'll have five days sobriety by then."  Rather than become disgruntled and discouraged, she chose to recognize and value the benefit of the delay.  

I am encouraged by how my dear friend Kimberly is appreciating what God is handing to her in her circumstances.  She is showing interest in being grateful to God for what He is giving to her.  

When we are grateful to God, then we thank God.  If we thank God, we are recognizing His love.  

As we realize that God is love,* we can come to adore God.  Coming to see that God is, we can praise God since He is.  

As we thank God, as we adore Him, as we praise Him, as we glorify Him, we become who God created us to be.  When we thank and adore and glorify and praise God, we become our true selves.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 

Respect Your Dignity

This afternoon a certain homeless woman stopped by here at the Catholic Worker House.  Again here I'll call her "Kimberly."  
Kimberly excitedly told me that she has been invited to start an outpatient rehabilitation program.  When she shared this good news with me, we happily exchanged high fives.  

She explained that the people running the program told her that if she wanted to enter the program, she should not use illicit substances.  Immediately she announced that today is her third day in a row being sober.  Upon declaring this wonderful news, her eyes welled up with tears.  

I rejoice in my soul that my dear friend is taking healthy steps to proclaim her realization of her own self-worth.  She is putting her self-respect into action by not abusing her own body.  

She is being lifted up from the spiritual and emotional morass in which she had been dwelling.  She is being delivered from her sins.  

God has raised high the lowly.*  He has helped her to recognize and to respect her own dignity.  God has filled the starving with good things.**  He has come to her aid, and in her dire hunger, craving true food, He has nourished her with the insight she has needed to value her own self.  

God has come to our help.***  God raises us up, mindful of His faithful love.****  

* Luke 1:52 
** Luke 1:53 
*** Luke 1:54 
**** Luke 1:54 

Care For Yourself

Yesterday I saw a certain homeless woman who I'll once again call "Kimberly."  Kimberly looked calmer and more composed and sounded more coherent than she had been.  

I noted, "You've seemed like you've been doing better lately.  Today it looks like you're doing even better."  

She explained, "Yeah, I decided not to get high today."  

I reassured her, "Well, it makes a difference."  

Kimberly has realized the ill effects which methamphetamines have on her.  She wants to stop using meth.  

Kimberly is choosing to take care of herself, and so she is loving herself.  When we love and respect ourselves, we begin to live the life God created us to live.  

Decide To Love

I know a particular homeless woman who once again I'll call "Sally."  Sally has been subjected to domestic violence on countless occasions by multiple men.  

Recently I overheard Sally declare that she will not have any more abusive relationships.  She has decided that she will no longer stand for being abused.  She will not tolerate abuse, since she loves herself.  

Sally has decided to love herself.  When we love ourselves, then we can love our neighbor as ourselves,* just as Jesus taught us to do.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14

Give With Love

This morning I was instructed, in how to give with love, by a homeless man.  Once again I'll call this man "Manuel."  

Today Manuel sat before me at a table.  I sat on a chair listening to him.  

He shared with me how he knows homeless people who do not have a lot, but they share the little they have.  They have little, yet they give what they have.  When you have a little, and yet you give, you have the potential to give with much love.  

Such people die to themselves so they can live for their neighbor.  If you are willing to die to your own desires, you can give the little you have, and thus love your neighbor as yourself,* as Jesus taught us to do.  

Dead to your desires, you can give yourself away.  Having emptied yourself, you have invited God to fill you with His love.**  If you are filled with the love of God, you can give yourself completely to your neighbor.  When you totally open your heart to God, God can love your neighbor through you.  

If you love God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength,*** you completely trust God.  Totally loving God, you are open to how God wants to love your neighbor through you.  Completely loving God, you invite God to fill you with His love, so you can love your neighbor as God loves us.****  

Filled with the love of God, you can give much.  Although you have little, you can give much.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
** Romans 5:5 
*** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27
**** John 13:34 

Know You Can

Today I overheard a conversation between a homeless drug addict who I'll call "Patsy" and her friend, who I'll call "Dawn."  They were talking about how Patsy was planning on entering a drug rehabilitation program.  It went roughly like this: 

Dawn: Well, it sounds like you're all set to go into this treatment program.  How do you feel about it?  

Patsy: I think I can do it.  

Dawn: I know you can do it.  

Dawn affirmed Patsy.  In encouraging Patsy by telling Patsy that Dawn knew Patsy could successfully work through the treatment program, Dawn showed Patsy the love that Dawn would like to receive.  She seeks to love her neighbor as herself,* as Jesus taught us to do.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14

Embrace God's Intention

This afternoon I was walking through downtown Redwood City.  As I strolled along, leisurely enjoying my Sunday afternoon, I heard some music being performed.  I looked to the side and saw a man playing a guitar and another man playing drums.  

The man playing drums is a man I've mentioned in a previous blog post.  Here I'll again call him "Ed."  When I first met Ed, he was homeless.  Then he started staying in a homeless shelter.  When I last saw him before today, it was on the front porch of the Catholic Worker House, when he was sharing with me how he had learned that one overcomes depression by slowly, daily, gradually accomplishing whatever tasks are at hand.  

In this arc of improvement, when I saw Ed today, it seemed he was simply living in the moment of playing the music he could play.  He was doing what he could do.  

When we use the skills God has given to us, we accept who God made us to be.  As we become ourselves, we praise God, for we are embracing who God intended us to be.  If we welcome who God always has meant us to be, we show we appreciate what God has given to us, and thus open our hearts to God.  Opening our hearts to God, we are positioned to love God with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.*  

As we do what we can to be ourselves, we show our neighbor that we love ourselves.  When we take the little steps we can take to be our true selves, we demonstrate to our neighbor that we love ourselves.  Comforting our neighbor with the knowledge that we love ourselves, we love our neighbor as ourselves,** just as Jesus taught us to do.  

When we become our true selves, we love ourselves, for in accepting who God made us to be, we are welcoming God into our hearts, and since God is love,*** we are welcoming love into our hearts.  As we grow into who God has always meant us to be, we welcome love into our hearts.  

With the love of God poured into our hearts,**** we are empowered to bring love into the world.  Being our true selves, we bring love into the world.  

* Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** 1 John 4:8,16 
**** Romans 5:5 

Lovingly Welcome Martyrdom

This afternoon I arrived back here at the hermitage for my first visit since I stopped living here at the beginning of last summer.  Being here again, I am reminded of why I entered formation here on the path to becoming a monk: the silence and solitude so conducive to prayer and meditation; the liturgical schedule which includes communal prayer three times a day, in addition to daily Mass; and the warm, welcoming hospitality of these gracious monks.  

Yet I recollect that while I felt that God called me to live at this hermitage for a time so I could learn to deepen my prayer life, I feel that it has been clear to me for quite some time now that God has not given me the grace to be a monk.  A while ago I also concluded that I have an inner monk, who I am to nurture consciously, deliberately and mindfully, through the spiritual disciplines of prayer, worship, celebration of God's blessings, silence, solitude, simplicity and service, among other spiritual practices.  

God has given me the wisdom to realize that these spiritual disciplines help me to turn my attention toward Him, to focus on Him, and to hear Him and to listen to Him.  God gives us what we need to do His will.  We might get caught up in craving something that we would like to do to try to serve Him, but while we have our own hopes of how to serve God, in insisting upon them, we might be clinging to ideas which are our own, and are not according to the plan God has in mind for us.  

Today at Mass here, in his sermon Father Cyprian recalled how both Saint Francis and Saint Romuald longed to die as martyrs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  Yet, Father Cyprian explained to us, God had not given Saint Francis and Saint Romuald the grace to be martyrs.  Father Cyprian went on to note that dying as a martyr is not something we can reach out and grasp; we must be given the grace to die as a martyr.  God gives us the grace we need to do His will.  

However, Father Cyprian gave us hope as he continued his homily.  He instructed us that God calls all of us to be martyrs for love.  We are to die to our own desires, so that, having emptied ourselves, God can fill us with His grace so that, filled with His love,* we can serve as the conduits through which God sends His love to our neighbors, so that they may receive what they need.  

I was reminded of these truths this morning when I received a message from someone I'll call "Paul."  God has blessed both Paul and me with the same certain person in our lives, who I'll call "Lauren."  Lauren is homeless and she also suffers from a drug addiction.  Paul and I have discussed much how we might be able to help Lauren, who keeps making decisions which threaten her spiritual, psychological and physical health.  While we can see Lauren as disappointing us, and based on that dissatisfaction, we could choose to isolate her and shun her, if we were to do so, we would be deciding to allow our emotions to control us.  Or we can choose to let our irritation with her not dominate us, but instead die to our natural inclinations, instead letting love rule us.  

When we forgive, we die to our selfish instincts to cling to our pain of how we feel we have been hurt.  As we forgive, we selflessly love the other person.  When we forgive, we also love ourselves, since we free ourselves from the prison in which we had been enclosing ourselves: when we forgive our neighbor, we let go of the pain which had been enslaving us, through the torment we had been deciding to impose on both our neighbor and on ourselves by previously refusing to forgive our neighbor.  

When we allow ourselves to be humbled, then God gives us the grace** we need to forgive our neighbor.  If we forgive our neighbor, we treat our neighbor as we would like to be treated, since we too would like to be forgiven.  When we forgive our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves*** as Jesus taught us to do.  When we die to our own pain, we become martyrs for love.  Having let go of our pain, God can fill us with His grace, so that, filled with His love, we can give others the love they need.  In loving through the free gift of the grace of God,**** we glorify God.  In dying to ourselves, and in forgiving our neighbor, and thus loving our neighbor, we become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5 
*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14  
**** Ephesians 2:8 

Lovingly Choose Life

Earlier this week a homeless woman who I'll call "Katarina" told me that a homeless man who I'll call "Zack" had brutalized her.  Soon after she had shared this raw wound with me, again we crossed paths.  Then Katarina told me that Zack had come to her, repentant and regretful.  Zack, a tall, burly, muscular man, had stood before Katarina, his lip quivering with remorse, and had apologized to her for how he had grossly mistreated her.  

God can soften hardened hearts.  God can transform brutality into repentance.  

Just as God can lead us sinners to repent by guiding us through the Holy Spirit to forsake our hurtful behavior, so God can heal our wounded neighbor.  I have already seen how Katarina has been healing, since she has been forgiving Zack.  We heal ourselves and our neighbor when we forgive our neighbor.  

To heal ourselves, also we must forgive ourselves.  To heal ourselves, we must love ourselves.  So that we may be restored to health, sometimes we must recognize that we are not responsible for how others have harmed us.  Some people who have been abused blame themselves.  We are not responsible for others' actions.  However, we are responsible for how we respond to others' actions.  God calls us to love ourselves, such that we do not blame ourselves for what others do to us.  

God calls us not to perpetuate the suffering that others have inflicted on us by abusing ourselves.  God calls us not to cling to our pain.  God calls us to let go of our anguish by not fostering it through inaccurate images of ourselves.  

God calls us not to recreate our torment by continuing to live in our pain.  Some people who have been traumatized choose to relive the harrowing experience by putting themselves back into the same situation with the same person who abused them.  Rather than live in past abuse which binds us to death, God calls us to new life.  Jesus has told us that He came so that we might have new life, and have it to the full.*  

We find life in Jesus, who is The Way to The Life, which is The Truth.**  We find life when we love others as Jesus loves us.***  
God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves.****  Since God calls us to love others, we must also love ourselves.  We must accord ourselves the same love we bestow upon others.  We owe ourselves a duty to love ourselves.  

If we love ourselves, we choose life.*****  As we love ourselves, we move toward having life to the full.  When we love ourselves, we move toward God.  In loving ourselves, we start to become who God has always meant us to be.  

As we become who God has always intended us to be, at the same time we are praising God and glorifying Him.  When we open our hearts to who God made us to be, we acknowledge His rightful place as our Creator, and thus come to love our Heavenly Father with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.******  

As we become who God made us to be, we draw back home to God and toward Heaven.  Let us love ourselves, our neighbor, and thus become who God created us to be.  Amen.  

* John 10:10 
** John 14:6 
*** John 13:34; John 15:12 
**** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
***** Deuteronomy 30:19 
****** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

Gratefully Humbly Listen

Yesterday I spoke with a particular homeless woman who once again I'll call "Anna."  Anna told me that we do well to be attentive to the many blessings God bestows upon us.  She described how we receive many blessings from God, so we ought consciously to express gratitude for these new blessings which arise so often in our lives.  

As I have previously related, Anna is not only homeless, but is addicted to methamphetamines.  It is so easy to conclude mistakenly from our neighbor's mistakes that we have nothing to learn from our neighbor.  If we judge our neighbor, we are deciding not to learn from our neighbor.  

In deciding not to listen to our neighbor, we are closing ourselves off to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who speaks to us through our neighbor.  We hear echoes of saints as our neighbor speaks to us.  

Saint Ignatius of Loyola prescribed that persons perform an examen at the end of each day in which they look back at their day and recall the many blessings from God over the course of the day.  Upon reviewing the numerous blessings from God during the day, we then give thanks to God and we praise God for so abundantly blessing us.  

When we are grateful to God, we become more conscious of how much He blesses us.  As we become more grateful to God, we become receptive to how He seeks to teach us in unexpected ways and through people who we would otherwise shun.  

As we open our hearts to those amongst us who are despised, we open our hearts to Jesus.  In how we react to those among us who are marginalized, so we treat Jesus.*  

If we refuse to hear what our reviled neighbor has to say, we may be rejecting saintly advice.  One who is maligned may very well be speaking the words of a saint without our realizing it.  

Everyday we are presented with wisdom as we go about our day.  If we are humble, we can learn from our neighbor.  

If we love our neighbor, we can learn from our neighbor.  God seeks to teach us through our neighbor.  

When we listen to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,** since we would like others to listen to us.  Let us listen to each other, and thus learn from each other, and thus love each other.  Amen.  

* Matthew 25:40,45 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Love Through Respect

On Friday mornings, in our driveway persons in need line up and get free food.  Thus this morning people here filled their bags with fruits and vegetables and bread and desserts.  

Today after everyone had acquired their food, the leftover food was being brought out of the driveway.  Some was being loaded into the volunteers' cars for them to take home.  Overripe food had been sorted to be added to compost.  

As this leftover food was being carried out of the driveway, I noticed that a woman walking her bicycle on the other side of the street had stopped.  She called out asking if any of us needed any help.  

At this point, a box of brussels sprouts was being brought to a truck.  The box fell to the ground and the brussels sprouts spilled onto the street.  

Suddenly the woman with the bicycle was next to us.  She had grabbed a broom and a standing dustbin and was sweeping the brussels sprouts into the dustbin.  

Soon I was talking with this woman, who I'll call "Melinda."  She quickly offered that she is homeless.  She related that another homeless woman had told her about the Catholic Worker House.  Melinda was asking me about the Catholic Worker House, so I was explaining to her some of the work we do.  

In addition to talking about the Catholic Worker House, Melinda started telling me about herself.  She began to tell me about some of her goals, about how she wants to become a more productive and giving person. She shared that she wants to rise above past experiences she has had.  

During our conversation, Melinda told me that sometimes men immediately make advances to her and expect her to promptly comply.  She explained to me that she rejects such premature propositions made to her.  

I said, "It sounds like you respect yourself."  

She replied, "Yes, that's right.  I respect myself."  

With her bold, confident, self-assured manner, I found Melinda refreshing and relieving.  She put me at ease since I knew I needn't be concerned about her.  I was aware that she takes care of herself.  I was able to relax insofar as I was conscious that she is tending to her own well-being.  

Melinda loves herself.  Loving herself, she is empowered to love her neighbor as herself,* as Jesus taught us to do.  Loving herself, she reassures her neighbor that she is all right, and in giving that reassurance to her neighbor, she is loving for her neighbor and caring for her neighbor.  

When we respect ourselves, we love ourselves, and, consequently, we love our neighbor.  When we respect ourselves, we give the gift of peace of mind to our neighbor and thus we love our neighbor.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14