Lovingly Choose Life

Earlier this week a homeless woman who I'll call "Katarina" told me that a homeless man who I'll call "Zack" had brutalized her.  Soon after she had shared this raw wound with me, again we crossed paths.  Then Katarina told me that Zack had come to her, repentant and regretful.  Zack, a tall, burly, muscular man, had stood before Katarina, his lip quivering with remorse, and had apologized to her for how he had grossly mistreated her.  

God can soften hardened hearts.  God can transform brutality into repentance.  

Just as God can lead us sinners to repent by guiding us through the Holy Spirit to forsake our hurtful behavior, so God can heal our wounded neighbor.  I have already seen how Katarina has been healing, since she has been forgiving Zack.  We heal ourselves and our neighbor when we forgive our neighbor.  

To heal ourselves, also we must forgive ourselves.  To heal ourselves, we must love ourselves.  So that we may be restored to health, sometimes we must recognize that we are not responsible for how others have harmed us.  Some people who have been abused blame themselves.  We are not responsible for others' actions.  However, we are responsible for how we respond to others' actions.  God calls us to love ourselves, such that we do not blame ourselves for what others do to us.  

God calls us not to perpetuate the suffering that others have inflicted on us by abusing ourselves.  God calls us not to cling to our pain.  God calls us to let go of our anguish by not fostering it through inaccurate images of ourselves.  

God calls us not to recreate our torment by continuing to live in our pain.  Some people who have been traumatized choose to relive the harrowing experience by putting themselves back into the same situation with the same person who abused them.  Rather than live in past abuse which binds us to death, God calls us to new life.  Jesus has told us that He came so that we might have new life, and have it to the full.*  

We find life in Jesus, who is The Way to The Life, which is The Truth.**  We find life when we love others as Jesus loves us.***  
God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves.****  Since God calls us to love others, we must also love ourselves.  We must accord ourselves the same love we bestow upon others.  We owe ourselves a duty to love ourselves.  

If we love ourselves, we choose life.*****  As we love ourselves, we move toward having life to the full.  When we love ourselves, we move toward God.  In loving ourselves, we start to become who God has always meant us to be.  

As we become who God has always intended us to be, at the same time we are praising God and glorifying Him.  When we open our hearts to who God made us to be, we acknowledge His rightful place as our Creator, and thus come to love our Heavenly Father with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.******  

As we become who God made us to be, we draw back home to God and toward Heaven.  Let us love ourselves, our neighbor, and thus become who God created us to be.  Amen.  

* John 10:10 
** John 14:6 
*** John 13:34; John 15:12 
**** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
***** Deuteronomy 30:19 
****** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

Gratefully Humbly Listen

Yesterday I spoke with a particular homeless woman who once again I'll call "Anna."  Anna told me that we do well to be attentive to the many blessings God bestows upon us.  She described how we receive many blessings from God, so we ought consciously to express gratitude for these new blessings which arise so often in our lives.  

As I have previously related, Anna is not only homeless, but is addicted to methamphetamines.  It is so easy to conclude mistakenly from our neighbor's mistakes that we have nothing to learn from our neighbor.  If we judge our neighbor, we are deciding not to learn from our neighbor.  

In deciding not to listen to our neighbor, we are closing ourselves off to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who speaks to us through our neighbor.  We hear echoes of saints as our neighbor speaks to us.  

Saint Ignatius of Loyola prescribed that persons perform an examen at the end of each day in which they look back at their day and recall the many blessings from God over the course of the day.  Upon reviewing the numerous blessings from God during the day, we then give thanks to God and we praise God for so abundantly blessing us.  

When we are grateful to God, we become more conscious of how much He blesses us.  As we become more grateful to God, we become receptive to how He seeks to teach us in unexpected ways and through people who we would otherwise shun.  

As we open our hearts to those amongst us who are despised, we open our hearts to Jesus.  In how we react to those among us who are marginalized, so we treat Jesus.*  

If we refuse to hear what our reviled neighbor has to say, we may be rejecting saintly advice.  One who is maligned may very well be speaking the words of a saint without our realizing it.  

Everyday we are presented with wisdom as we go about our day.  If we are humble, we can learn from our neighbor.  

If we love our neighbor, we can learn from our neighbor.  God seeks to teach us through our neighbor.  

When we listen to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,** since we would like others to listen to us.  Let us listen to each other, and thus learn from each other, and thus love each other.  Amen.  

* Matthew 25:40,45 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Love Through Respect

On Friday mornings, in our driveway persons in need line up and get free food.  Thus this morning people here filled their bags with fruits and vegetables and bread and desserts.  

Today after everyone had acquired their food, the leftover food was being brought out of the driveway.  Some was being loaded into the volunteers' cars for them to take home.  Overripe food had been sorted to be added to compost.  

As this leftover food was being carried out of the driveway, I noticed that a woman walking her bicycle on the other side of the street had stopped.  She called out asking if any of us needed any help.  

At this point, a box of brussels sprouts was being brought to a truck.  The box fell to the ground and the brussels sprouts spilled onto the street.  

Suddenly the woman with the bicycle was next to us.  She had grabbed a broom and a standing dustbin and was sweeping the brussels sprouts into the dustbin.  

Soon I was talking with this woman, who I'll call "Melinda."  She quickly offered that she is homeless.  She related that another homeless woman had told her about the Catholic Worker House.  Melinda was asking me about the Catholic Worker House, so I was explaining to her some of the work we do.  

In addition to talking about the Catholic Worker House, Melinda started telling me about herself.  She began to tell me about some of her goals, about how she wants to become a more productive and giving person. She shared that she wants to rise above past experiences she has had.  

During our conversation, Melinda told me that sometimes men immediately make advances to her and expect her to promptly comply.  She explained to me that she rejects such premature propositions made to her.  

I said, "It sounds like you respect yourself."  

She replied, "Yes, that's right.  I respect myself."  

With her bold, confident, self-assured manner, I found Melinda refreshing and relieving.  She put me at ease since I knew I needn't be concerned about her.  I was aware that she takes care of herself.  I was able to relax insofar as I was conscious that she is tending to her own well-being.  

Melinda loves herself.  Loving herself, she is empowered to love her neighbor as herself,* as Jesus taught us to do.  Loving herself, she reassures her neighbor that she is all right, and in giving that reassurance to her neighbor, she is loving for her neighbor and caring for her neighbor.  

When we respect ourselves, we love ourselves, and, consequently, we love our neighbor.  When we respect ourselves, we give the gift of peace of mind to our neighbor and thus we love our neighbor.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Love With Mercy

Everyday we are presented with chances to love.  We are repeatedly faced with the choice of whether we will stop what we are doing so we can love others.  Thus we are called to love rather than to fear.  When we fall prey to fear, we fall away from love.  We decide to love when we listen to our neighbor.  We choose love when we are willing to learn from our neighbor.  

Today as we celebrate the feast day of Saint Matthew, once again we hear how Jesus calls us to love and to be merciful and thus to open our hearts to our neighbor.  In today's Gospel, we hear that 

Jesus saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post.  
He said to him, "Follow Me."  
And he got up and followed Him.  
While He was at table in his house, 
many tax collectors and sinners came 
and sat with Jesus and His disciples.  
The Pharisees saw this and said to His disciples, 
"Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"  
He heard this and said, 
"Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.  
Go and learn the meaning of the words, 
I desire mercy, not sacrifice.  
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners."*  

When Jesus told Saint Matthew to follow Him, Saint Matthew got up and followed Jesus.  As a wise person once pointed out to me, Saint Matthew didn't ask Jesus what his invitation entailed.  Saint Matthew simply got up, left everything, and followed Jesus.  Saint Matthew didn't have to discern what he was going to do; it was clear to him that he was going to follow Jesus, so immediately he did so.  

God presents all of us with chances to love.  When God gives us the gift of an opportunity to love, get up and follow Jesus wherever He calls you to go.  We find Jesus in our neighbor, and for however long our neighbor is next to us, we can choose to love our neighbor in every single instant.  Jesus calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves.**  If our neighbor requests love from us, then we are to give that love to Jesus who we find in our neighbor.  When the duty of the present moment requests, then we get up and follow the call of Jesus to love our neighbor.  
When we choose fear over love, we ignore this call from Jesus.  When we succumb to fright, then we are turning away from loving our neighbor.  When we want to run away from what we have to do, then we turn aside from Jesus and from the duty to love our neighbor.  When we run away from our duty, we fail to love ourselves.  

I felt this pull of fear, and I was taught by a friend how to properly respond to such fear months ago.  This friend, who here I'll call "Anna," had done something wrong.  She needed to set it right again.  

She went to set things back in their proper place, and I accompanied her.  When she got to where she needed to restore things, she asked me how she was to do so.  Panicking, I stammered, "Just be done with it, and let's get out of here."  Calmly, she replied that she felt it was more appropriate to speak with the people who she had wronged.  She tried to speak with them, but it turned out that they were not there when she arrived.  She could have just departed, yet she not only left a voice message apologizing to the people she had wronged, but she also left her name.  She did her best to make amends for how she had inappropriately behaved.  

What else can I tell you about Anna?  Anna is a homeless woman who is addicted to methamphetamines.  

It is easy and convenient to declare that the homeless drug addict is the sick one.  Jesus suggests that those who are morally lacking are sick.  I was the morally deficient one in that situation: I was the one who wanted to hurry up and leave so we could avoid an uncomfortable confrontation, rather than see my friend partly spiritually healed through making the appropriate reparations to the people she had wronged.  In demonstrating to me how to begin to responsibly set right one's mistakes, this homeless addict was like a physician to my sick and troubled soul.  

When we see how we can learn from others who we had previously thought were below us, it becomes easy to realize the meaning of the words, "Mercy is what pleases Me, not sacrifice."***  If we realize that we can learn from people who we think are worse off than us, then it becomes easy to be merciful toward them.  

Jesus explained that He came to call not the upright, but sinners.  It is more comfortable for me to think of myself as upright than to realize that I am a sinner.  The truth hurts.  The truth is that I am a sinner.  Yet all is not lost, for Jesus calls me and all of us sinners to repentance and to restoration with God.  
Jesus calls us.  Jesus asks us to get up, leave everything and follow Him.  Jesus asks us to leave our conceptions of ourselves, to realize we are sinners, to give up our sinful ways, to make amends for what we have done wrong, and, having renounced our sinful desires, to follow Him.  Jesus calls us to such renunciation since He wants us to love ourselves and stop destroying ourselves.  He wants us to love ourselves so we can love our neighbor as ourselves.  We are called to love so that we can love each other as Jesus has loved us.****  We are called to show great love, to give up everything, and to follow Jesus.  When we do so, we finally become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Matthew 9:9-13 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** Hosea 6:6 
**** John 13:34; John 15:12 

Forgive Through Humility

Earlier this week I saw a particular homeless woman who again I'll call "Anna."  Over the last month, Anna has felt called to change.  

Anna told me that she knows that she has to make amends with a lot of people.  She also said that she has to turn away from sin.

She shared with me that she is aware that God is merciful.  She added that although we don't deserve God's grace, He gives it to us anyway because He is such a gentleman.  

Anna has taken important steps toward the recovery of her true self.  She has realized that regardless of poor choices she has made, she can ask God to forgive her, and that God will forgive her.  

God forgives us our sins as we repent.  A humble, contrite heart, O God, You will not spurn.*  

Forgiven by God, we are shown the love we are to show to others.  Forgiven by God, we see how we are to forgive others.  

If we forgive others, God our Heavenly Father will forgive us, as Jesus taught us.**  Choosing to love, we return home to God, who is love.***  

* Psalm 51:17 
** Sirach 28:2; Matthew 6:15; Mark 11:25 
*** 1 John 4:8,16 

Joyfully Thank Always

This morning a friend of ours came here to the Catholic Worker House.  Here I'll call him "Stan." Stan is homeless and suffers from various ailments.  He moves very slowly; it seems like one might be overstating his degree of mobility if one were to say that he hobbles along.  On his legs and his fingers, his skin has become scaly and is peeling off in large flakes.  This morning, it was clear that his sores had broken open and were bleeding.  

Despite his misfortune, at one point this morning, Stan proclaimed, "The Lord is good."  Stan could lament his medical condition, but instead he chooses to give glory to God.  In the midst of his discomfort, Stan praises and adores and glorifies God for His great goodness.  

Amidst suffering, just as during times of ease and comfort, we are to give thanks to God.  Knowing that God is good, we are to be joyful always, pray constantly, and for all things give thanks.*  

I am reminded and am told that we must do so by the suffering homeless man who shows up at my doorstep.  Jesus, in the impoverished individuals** in front of us, comes to us to continue to teach us how to love God with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.***  

As we open our hearts to the poor persons who are before us, we open our hearts to God.  When we truly see the impoverished man in front of us, we recognize Jesus here with us.****  As we welcome the homeless person here with us into our hearts, we welcome Jesus into our hearts.  

As we welcome God into our hearts, we see that God is infinitely good.  When we realize that the Lord is good, we give thanks always.  We never stop expressing gratitude to God once we see that God infinitely loves us.  

When we recognize that God is love,***** we welcome the truth that God loves us always.  Aware that God loves us infinitely, we rejoice at all times.  Ever joyful, we give thanks for all things.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 
** Matthew 25:40,45 
*** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
**** Matthew 28:20 
***** 1 John 4:8,16 

Become God's Intention

Through love we find our true identity.  As we open our hearts to love each other, we remember who God intended us to be.  

When we love, we open our hearts to God and to our neighbor.  When we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength,* and when we love our neighbor as ourselves** as Jesus taught us to do, we become who and what God created us to be.  

* Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Littleness Can Teach

Usually once a week I take a day of silence.  On such a day, as much as work allows, I aim to speak as little as I can.  In deliberately being quiet on certain days, I aspire then on other days to fall silent more often than I used to be.  

I practice silence to help me discern and say and do what God wills.  I enter into silence to help me be attentive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  

I resort to silence to prevent me from sinning.    My Lord and my God, put a curb on my lips, so that I not sin with my tongue.*  

Last week, on my silent day, at one point I was in the kitchen when one of our current long-term guests entered the room.  She's an eight-year old who lives here at the Catholic Worker House with her mom.  She began making regular conversation with me, perhaps about how my day was going, or what food was on the counter, or something else which naturally came to mind.  After not too long as I continued to respond without words, she asked me why I was not speaking.  In such instances, when I can't respond by nodding or shaking my head, I write my response.  Yet in this particular case, almost immediately she began to think about a possible answer to her own query.  She asked, "Are you quiet so you can listen better to others?"  Frankly, I hadn't been consciously taking silent days as a means to help me to better listen.  Nevertheless, when she so inquired, I pondered her question and realized that through regularly falling silent, I can improve at listening to others, which I wish to do.  I nodded in reply.  

Our neighbor can teach us if we are willing to listen.  We can learn even from little children. If we let little children come to us, we can be led by them to the Kingdom of Heaven, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as them.**  Amen.  

* Psalm 39:1; Psalm 141:3 
** Matthew 19:14; Mark 10:14; Luke 18:16 

Always Joyfully Thanking

Today in front of the Catholic Worker House arrived a homeless woman who here I'll call "Janice."  She was moving slowly.  She noted how her hair was so knotted that she couldn't run her fingers through it.  Janice was wearing dirty clothes.  

Janice told my fellow Catholic Worker Susan and me of how she has been mistreated.  She has been beaten; she has been falsely accused of speaking with profanity; at times she has returned to the cart she uses only to find some of her items missing.  

Janice began crying as she spoke to me, under the stress she feels over her plight.  Yet she was quick to add that she knows that God loves her.  Aware that God loves her, steadfastly affirming and proclaiming this truth even in the face of being abused, she is set to give thanks to God always for all things.*  When we keep in mind that God loves us, we are joyful always,** no matter what happens.     

If we realize that God's love is infinite and thus is immeasurably more immense than how we love, we begin to see reality.  If we accurately perceive who we are, that we are nothing without the help of God, and who God is, that He always has been, is and ever shall be, we are humbled.  If we allow ourselves to be humbled, we open our hearts to the grace of God, for God gives grace to the humble.***  

By the grace of God, we become empowered to weather whatever storm befalls us.  Aware that God loves us and works all to our good if we love Him,**** we rejoice that God is always seeking our good.  

As we realize that God wishes the best for us since God is love,***** we can come to give thanks to God for all things.  As we become more conscious of the vastness of God's love, we become more joyful, becoming joyful always.  

With the love of God, being grateful and joyful always, we view all that happens in a new light.  We come to view occasions of suffering not as misfortune, but as opportunities to draw closer to God if we capitalize on such gifts as chances to more deeply thank God.  

So often we angrily discard such invitations from God to enter into deeper, more profound communion with Him.  Yet today I was instructed in this challenging endeavor by Janice, who is homeless.  Jesus told us that we find Him in those who are the least among us.******  Jesus comes to us in those who are poor and downtrodden.  He still comes to us, trying to keep instructing us.  

Often we find Jesus' teachings too much to bear.  If we try alone to carry the load of what He asks of us, we will find it to be too heavy.  For humans some things are impossible, but nothing is impossible for God.*******  With the help of Jesus, the yoke becomes easy and the burden light.********  If we turn to Jesus, and remain in Him,********* through His presence we will be thankful for all things and will be always joyful.  

If we pay attention to the poor person in front of us, we are paying heed to Jesus.  We can find Jesus right in front of us, instructing us.  We have opportunities to learn about suffering from the homeless person before us.  From her we can learn how to give thanks to God when we encounter hardships and to be joyful in the midst of adversity.  

From a homeless woman who has let herself be humbled, we can learn valuable lessons on how to become much more than we have been: those who become humble receive the grace of God, and with this transformative power they endure formidable storms, glorifying God through the strength they receive from Him.  Thus it is to the glory of God that those who humble themselves are raised up.**********  

Let us open our eyes to those before us, open our hearts to our neighbor, and thus open our hearts to the love of God.  As we open our hearts to love, joy abounds in our souls.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
** 1 Thessalonians 5:16 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Romans 8:28 
***** 1 John 4:8,16
****** Matthew 25:40,45
******* Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37
******** Matthew 11:30 
********* John 15:4,6,7,9,10
********** Matthew 23:12; Luke 14:11; Luke 18:14

Learning From Others

When we become who God has always meant us to be, we help others to realize who God has always intended them to be.  When we love, we help others to love.  

In my quest to discover my true identity, I have been assisted by numerous friends.  This week and last week, I have been thinking especially of a dear friend of mine who passed away at the end of last month.  I've written before of this cherished friend, who I have called "Uncle."  In his reflective, meditative way, Uncle supplied helpful insight to me as I have struggled to find my real identity.  For years he served me as a valuable friend, accompanying me as I did work which I knew was not the best fit for me.  

For ten years I worked as an attorney, even though I really didn't want to be doing such work; I was forcing myself to work as an attorney so I could pay off my large debts.  I didn't have an idea of what I would do next until I had been a lawyer for more than a few years.  Even though I didn't know what I would do after I stopped being a lawyer, I was impatient to move on and stop lawyering.  

Usually I remained silent about wanting to switch to some other type of work.  However, looking back at those days as an attorney, it seems that even though so often I kept quiet about wanting to cease lawyering, now I feel I was receiving direction about where I was headed.  Now it seems as if Uncle and the rest of the family were implicitly preparing me and teaching me simply by welcoming me into their homes.  

At this point it seems as if, embedded in their actions of welcoming me into their homes, they were showing me that I was taking steps to get ready for what I would do next.  Yet if Uncle had explained their assistance through words, I envision that he would have taken one of his characteristic pauses in which he carefully pondered what he was about to say.  Then I can imagine him gently and wisely advising me, "In what you are doing right now, you are preparing for what you want to do later."  

Often we don't see right away how we are preparing for what will come later.  Friends help us see what we can't see.  

I visualize him having given me this insight while sitting with him at one of the many family celebrations with him and the rest of his family.  At Thanksgiving dinners and birthday celebrations, I was welcomed into their family.  Insofar as they're Filipino, I was repeatedly experiencing the context of a different cultural background when we celebrated together on these occasions.  

As I was welcomed time and again into their homes, they didn't realize that they were preparing me to go into the Peace Corps.  Just as Uncle and the rest of their family welcomed me into their homes and another cultural background, similarly once I arrived with the Peace Corps in Morocco, I was being welcomed into host families in another culture.  

Long after I left Morocco, I realized that Uncle's warmth and generosity and welcoming nature had been echoed in the hospitality I received in Morocco.  Yet before I had even left Morocco, I had resolved to extend hospitality to others once I left Morocco.  And so I was influenced in my decision to enter a reformed Benedictine monastery, since Benedictine monks offer hospitality to visitors.  I lived and worked at the Camaldolese hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California partly since I strove to be hospitable just as Uncle and the rest of his family, as well as Moroccans, were hospitable to me.  

Similarly, I have felt drawn to live and work at Catholic Worker Houses partly since I have wanted to offer hospitality to those in need of it.  Thus I find myself here at this Catholic Worker House in part due to Uncle's warm and giving and hospitable nature.  

Thus I return to what I wrote in a recent blog post: in being ourselves, we help others to find themselves.  As we give, we help others to give.  

Uncle and his daughters and the rest of their family, in extending hospitality to me, led me to realize I wanted to extend hospitality to others.  In being themselves, they helped me to be me.   When we embrace who God calls us to be, we help others realize who God calls them to be.  

When we love, we help others to love.  When we love others, we show who we are. 

When we love others, we welcome others into our hearts.  When we love others, we welcome God into our hearts.  

When we extend hospitality to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do.  We would like to receive hospitality from others, so when we offer hospitality to others, we treat others as we would like to be treated.  

We become what we do.  When we love, we become love.  Let us love, help others to love, and become love.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Imitating Loving Friends

Today I attended the funeral of a dear friend who I have called “Uncle.”  Uncle was a poetic and literate, religious, warm and hospitable, determined and committed, nurturing and loving soul.  I fondly remember him and treasure him in my heart for the admirable qualities he displayed.  

In what we value in our friends, we are presented with opportunities to become like them.  Our friends invite us to emulate them.  

I can honor Uncle not just by pondering what I appreciated about him.  Keeping in mind his faith, love of learning, welcoming nature, tenacity and compassion, I can strive to demonstrate these qualities as I try to love my neighbor as myself,* as Jesus instructed, and as Uncle aimed to do.  

In imitating our friends, including as we look back on our friends’ lives and recall what we appreciate about them, we can come to realize that death truly is a life-giving experience.  In feeling nourished by the consideration of the life of our dearly departed friend, we can feel joy in the midst of our sorrow.  

Uncle may have moved on to the next life, but he has left us with the gift of how he lived his life.  As I consider his death, I am moved to find new life in how he wholeheartedly embraced what God called him to do here on this earth.  

Of course we weep when our family members and friends pass on from this life to the next.  Yet in remembering how our deceased friends have lived, we can consider how we would like to live like them since they brought us joy.  In imitating our dearly departed friends, we can thus similarly bring others joy.  

Uncle was a great friend, and brought me much joy.  Realizing the joy he brought to me, I feel called to look at how he lived and how he loved.  

If we let the love of our departed friends live on in us, our friends can continue to live through us.  We can honor our deceased friends by helping them to live on through us.  

Friends live in our hearts.  They live in our hearts while they are still living in this life, and they still live in our hearts once they have passed on to the next life.  Our friends live in our hearts during our lives on this earth since we have welcomed them into our hearts.  If they remain in our hearts, they live on in our hearts once they have passed on to the next life.  

Let us consider how our friends have loved us.  Let us feel the joy our friends bring us.  A person is a friend if he helps you to love God, your neighbor and yourself.  

And so, looking back on the life of Uncle, I see a great friend.  He helped me to love God and my neighbor and myself.  And so I choose to imitate him.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Loving Is Becoming

I just got back from a memorial service for a dear friend.  I've told before about this friend I have cherished.  Years ago, after I had become friends with his daughters, he asked me to call him "Uncle."  

Uncle suffered a stroke nearly a year ago.  For almost a year, he was unable to speak, and could move much less than he used to be able.  He courageously endured these hardships while they were presented to him, and then a week ago, he passed from this life into the next.  

He lived his values, thus building a secure bridge from this life to the next.  In his tireless hope, in his tenacious faith, in his indefatigable love, he demonstrated to his youngest daughter the resilience she realized she wanted to study in her work as a psychologist.  In his eloquent musings he expressed in his poems, short stories and novel, he showed his eldest daughter the passion with which she realized she wanted to write.  In his silence, in his meditative pauses, in his carefully chosen words, speaking so mindfully that he seemed to be following a monastic practice, he implicitly and subtly encouraged me toward the monastic disciplines of silence and meditation which I have come to treasure.  

He showed us who we were to become.  He did not tell us who we were meant to be.  In being himself, he helped us to see who we were, and who we have been becoming.  

He loved himself, and so showed us how to love ourselves.  He loved himself, so he could love his neighbor as himself* as Jesus taught him to do.  

He could help others because he loved himself.  If we love ourselves, we can love our neighbor, and so we can become who God wants us to be.  Uncle loved himself, so he welcomed the invitation from God to become who God always meant him to be.  

In his life, he loved.  If we choose love, we welcome God into our hearts.  If we choose love, God welcomes us into Heaven.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14