Listen To Echoes

The truth of who we are echoes over our lives.  The persistent emergence of our identity resounds in our souls, a message which, in its recurrence, repeatedly encourages us to stay true to who God faithfully calls us to be, and to evermore become.  

During my present stay here at the hermitage, I have been witnessing how my life continues to unfold consistently in ways which reinforce how God calls me to be who He has always meant me to be.  In the midst of this stay here, I hear my life echoing who I am.  

These few days of retreat seem like they can be taken as a tiny version of the year and a half I lived here.  In the ebb and flow of my emotions now, and in the present stirrings in my soul, and in the current movements of the Holy Spirit within me, I am reminded of similar interior shifts when I resided here.  

Much like when I moved in a few years ago to live here, similarly a couple of nights ago I was filled with joy and excitement at the prospect of basking in the stillness and silence and solitude here, so conducive to prayer and meditation.  Upon both arrivals, I deeply breathed in this contemplative atmosphere.  

Both three years ago and two days ago, I calmed down soon after arriving.  I began to take stock of who I am, namely someone with monastic tendencies, yet also with great love of those who are poor.  Then I came to see myself, and now I view myself, as a servant of those who are impoverished, and as having an inner monk I am to nourish through spiritual disciplines I can follow even in the midst of whatever activity occupies me.  

I practiced such attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit amidst busy days while I still lived here.  After I had lived here for about half a year, I started driving monks who couldn't drive, usually to their doctor appointments.  Today, about halfway through this visit, I drove to Carmel and picked up a monk; he was on his way back from monastic business with other Camaldolese monks in Italy.  After meeting him in Carmel, I brought him back here to the hermitage.  

As I progressed in my residence here, I concluded that it didn't seem that God was calling me to become a monk here, but that God had been calling me to be here so I could deepen my prayer life.  Similarly, while I have been deeply nourished during the last couple of days here, it seems clear to me that I am to ponder in my heart, as our Blessed Mother Mary did.*  I feel I am to retain and treasure what has so nurtured me and allow it to guide me and to empower me and to light my path** as I strive to serve my neighbors, many of whom are poor.  As the Trappist monk Thomas Merton noted, we are to bring the contemplative treasures we have been given and share those spiritual fruits out in the world.  We are to share with others the great love which God has bestowed upon us.  

To properly serve, we must show great love.  If we empty ourselves, God can fill us with His love.  Nourished by the presence of Jesus, especially felt in stillness and silence and solitude, we can help others to feel the presence of Jesus.  If we remain in Jesus, and Jesus in us,*** we can bear much fruit in His name; conversely, without Him, we can do nothing.****  If we are filled with the love of God,***** we can recognize Jesus in those who are the least among us,****** and we can welcome Jesus into our hearts.  

When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we hear and welcome The Word which God has been speaking in eternity.  The Word, the love of God, has been echoing for all eternity.  We hear this echo calling to us in the depths of our souls.  When we hear, and listen to, and respond with open hearts to this repeating invitation, we become who God has always intended us to be.  

* Luke 2:19 
** Psalm 119:105 
*** John 15:4,5,6,7,9,10 
**** John 15:5 
***** Romans 5:5 
****** Matthew 25:40,45 

Lovingly Welcome Martyrdom

This afternoon I arrived back here at the hermitage for my first visit since I stopped living here at the beginning of last summer.  Being here again, I am reminded of why I entered formation here on the path to becoming a monk: the silence and solitude so conducive to prayer and meditation; the liturgical schedule which includes communal prayer three times a day, in addition to daily Mass; and the warm, welcoming hospitality of these gracious monks.  

Yet I recollect that while I felt that God called me to live at this hermitage for a time so I could learn to deepen my prayer life, I feel that it has been clear to me for quite some time now that God has not given me the grace to be a monk.  A while ago I also concluded that I have an inner monk, who I am to nurture consciously, deliberately and mindfully, through the spiritual disciplines of prayer, worship, celebration of God's blessings, silence, solitude, simplicity and service, among other spiritual practices.  

God has given me the wisdom to realize that these spiritual disciplines help me to turn my attention toward Him, to focus on Him, and to hear Him and to listen to Him.  God gives us what we need to do His will.  We might get caught up in craving something that we would like to do to try to serve Him, but while we have our own hopes of how to serve God, in insisting upon them, we might be clinging to ideas which are our own, and are not according to the plan God has in mind for us.  

Today at Mass here, in his sermon Father Cyprian recalled how both Saint Francis and Saint Romuald longed to die as martyrs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  Yet, Father Cyprian explained to us, God had not given Saint Francis and Saint Romuald the grace to be martyrs.  Father Cyprian went on to note that dying as a martyr is not something we can reach out and grasp; we must be given the grace to die as a martyr.  God gives us the grace we need to do His will.  

However, Father Cyprian gave us hope as he continued his homily.  He instructed us that God calls all of us to be martyrs for love.  We are to die to our own desires, so that, having emptied ourselves, God can fill us with His grace so that, filled with His love,* we can serve as the conduits through which God sends His love to our neighbors, so that they may receive what they need.  

I was reminded of these truths this morning when I received a message from someone I'll call "Paul."  God has blessed both Paul and me with the same certain person in our lives, who I'll call "Lauren."  Lauren is homeless and she also suffers from a drug addiction.  Paul and I have discussed much how we might be able to help Lauren, who keeps making decisions which threaten her spiritual, psychological and physical health.  While we can see Lauren as disappointing us, and based on that dissatisfaction, we could choose to isolate her and shun her, if we were to do so, we would be deciding to allow our emotions to control us.  Or we can choose to let our irritation with her not dominate us, but instead die to our natural inclinations, instead letting love rule us.  

When we forgive, we die to our selfish instincts to cling to our pain of how we feel we have been hurt.  As we forgive, we selflessly love the other person.  When we forgive, we also love ourselves, since we free ourselves from the prison in which we had been enclosing ourselves: when we forgive our neighbor, we let go of the pain which had been enslaving us, through the torment we had been deciding to impose on both our neighbor and on ourselves by previously refusing to forgive our neighbor.  

When we allow ourselves to be humbled, then God gives us the grace** we need to forgive our neighbor.  If we forgive our neighbor, we treat our neighbor as we would like to be treated, since we too would like to be forgiven.  When we forgive our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves*** as Jesus taught us to do.  When we die to our own pain, we become martyrs for love.  Having let go of our pain, God can fill us with His grace, so that, filled with His love, we can give others the love they need.  In loving through the free gift of the grace of God,**** we glorify God.  In dying to ourselves, and in forgiving our neighbor, and thus loving our neighbor, we become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5 
*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14  
**** Ephesians 2:8 

Learning From Others

When we become who God has always meant us to be, we help others to realize who God has always intended them to be.  When we love, we help others to love.  

In my quest to discover my true identity, I have been assisted by numerous friends.  This week and last week, I have been thinking especially of a dear friend of mine who passed away at the end of last month.  I've written before of this cherished friend, who I have called "Uncle."  In his reflective, meditative way, Uncle supplied helpful insight to me as I have struggled to find my real identity.  For years he served me as a valuable friend, accompanying me as I did work which I knew was not the best fit for me.  

For ten years I worked as an attorney, even though I really didn't want to be doing such work; I was forcing myself to work as an attorney so I could pay off my large debts.  I didn't have an idea of what I would do next until I had been a lawyer for more than a few years.  Even though I didn't know what I would do after I stopped being a lawyer, I was impatient to move on and stop lawyering.  

Usually I remained silent about wanting to switch to some other type of work.  However, looking back at those days as an attorney, it seems that even though so often I kept quiet about wanting to cease lawyering, now I feel I was receiving direction about where I was headed.  Now it seems as if Uncle and the rest of the family were implicitly preparing me and teaching me simply by welcoming me into their homes.  

At this point it seems as if, embedded in their actions of welcoming me into their homes, they were showing me that I was taking steps to get ready for what I would do next.  Yet if Uncle had explained their assistance through words, I envision that he would have taken one of his characteristic pauses in which he carefully pondered what he was about to say.  Then I can imagine him gently and wisely advising me, "In what you are doing right now, you are preparing for what you want to do later."  

Often we don't see right away how we are preparing for what will come later.  Friends help us see what we can't see.  

I visualize him having given me this insight while sitting with him at one of the many family celebrations with him and the rest of his family.  At Thanksgiving dinners and birthday celebrations, I was welcomed into their family.  Insofar as they're Filipino, I was repeatedly experiencing the context of a different cultural background when we celebrated together on these occasions.  

As I was welcomed time and again into their homes, they didn't realize that they were preparing me to go into the Peace Corps.  Just as Uncle and the rest of their family welcomed me into their homes and another cultural background, similarly once I arrived with the Peace Corps in Morocco, I was being welcomed into host families in another culture.  

Long after I left Morocco, I realized that Uncle's warmth and generosity and welcoming nature had been echoed in the hospitality I received in Morocco.  Yet before I had even left Morocco, I had resolved to extend hospitality to others once I left Morocco.  And so I was influenced in my decision to enter a reformed Benedictine monastery, since Benedictine monks offer hospitality to visitors.  I lived and worked at the Camaldolese hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California partly since I strove to be hospitable just as Uncle and the rest of his family, as well as Moroccans, were hospitable to me.  

Similarly, I have felt drawn to live and work at Catholic Worker Houses partly since I have wanted to offer hospitality to those in need of it.  Thus I find myself here at this Catholic Worker House in part due to Uncle's warm and giving and hospitable nature.  

Thus I return to what I wrote in a recent blog post: in being ourselves, we help others to find themselves.  As we give, we help others to give.  

Uncle and his daughters and the rest of their family, in extending hospitality to me, led me to realize I wanted to extend hospitality to others.  In being themselves, they helped me to be me.   When we embrace who God calls us to be, we help others realize who God calls them to be.  

When we love, we help others to love.  When we love others, we show who we are. 

When we love others, we welcome others into our hearts.  When we love others, we welcome God into our hearts.  

When we extend hospitality to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do.  We would like to receive hospitality from others, so when we offer hospitality to others, we treat others as we would like to be treated.  

We become what we do.  When we love, we become love.  Let us love, help others to love, and become love.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Loving Is Becoming

I just got back from a memorial service for a dear friend.  I've told before about this friend I have cherished.  Years ago, after I had become friends with his daughters, he asked me to call him "Uncle."  

Uncle suffered a stroke nearly a year ago.  For almost a year, he was unable to speak, and could move much less than he used to be able.  He courageously endured these hardships while they were presented to him, and then a week ago, he passed from this life into the next.  

He lived his values, thus building a secure bridge from this life to the next.  In his tireless hope, in his tenacious faith, in his indefatigable love, he demonstrated to his youngest daughter the resilience she realized she wanted to study in her work as a psychologist.  In his eloquent musings he expressed in his poems, short stories and novel, he showed his eldest daughter the passion with which she realized she wanted to write.  In his silence, in his meditative pauses, in his carefully chosen words, speaking so mindfully that he seemed to be following a monastic practice, he implicitly and subtly encouraged me toward the monastic disciplines of silence and meditation which I have come to treasure.  

He showed us who we were to become.  He did not tell us who we were meant to be.  In being himself, he helped us to see who we were, and who we have been becoming.  

He loved himself, and so showed us how to love ourselves.  He loved himself, so he could love his neighbor as himself* as Jesus taught him to do.  

He could help others because he loved himself.  If we love ourselves, we can love our neighbor, and so we can become who God wants us to be.  Uncle loved himself, so he welcomed the invitation from God to become who God always meant him to be.  

In his life, he loved.  If we choose love, we welcome God into our hearts.  If we choose love, God welcomes us into Heaven.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Emptying Ourselves Completely

Today is the feast day of Saint Romuald.  Today in the Catholic Church we commemorate the life of this saint who lived in the tenth and the eleventh centuries and who reformed Benedictine monasteries.  In time, his reforms were seen to have formed a new religious congregation of monks who came to be known as Camaldolese, named after their head monastery called Camaldoli, which is in Italy.  

After spending a year and a half living at New Camaldoli Hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California, I grew quite fond of the monks there, as well as the folks who work there too.  While I lived there, I came to realize better how and why we can be nourished deeply in the recesses of our souls by the spiritual disciplines of solitude, silence, prayer and meditation.  There in a dwelling space called a monastic cell, a monk lives as a solitary, assisted by these monastic spiritual practices as he strives to respond to God's call.  These spiritual disciplines position us so that, in opening our hearts to God, we consent to God loving our neighbor through us.  

I was significantly guided in my pursuit of these spiritual practices by the Rule of Saint Romuald.  He wrote it as a brief directive for men who came to monasteries to commune with God.  In his little rule, Saint Romuald counsels 

Sit in your cell as in Paradise.  Put the whole world behind you and forget it.  Watch your thoughts like a good fisherman watching for fish.  The path you must follow is in the Psalms--never leave it.  

If you have just come to the monastery, and in spite of your good will you cannot accomplish what you want, take every opportunity you can to sing the Psalms in your heart and to understand them with your mind.  

And if your mind wanders as you read, do not give up; hurry back and apply your mind to the words once more.  

Realize above all that you are in God's presence, and stand there with the attitude of one who stands before the emperor.  

Empty yourself completely and sit waiting, content with the grace of God, like the chick who tastes nothing and eats nothing but what his mother brings him.  

The Rule of Saint Romuald resonates with how I have sought to orient my life over the last half dozen years.  I do my best to take time to retreat and forget about the world for a time so as to be recollected in my soul.  I have also aimed to forget the false notions the world gives me.  I have been aspiring to forget the false self that the world has tried to convince me I am, as the Trappist monk Thomas Merton describes.  We can choose to reject the empty promises the world makes, vainly suggesting that we always need to be buying and possessing certain items in order to remain relevant in today's ever-changing material world.  Rather than consume our energies on fruitless pursuits, we can direct our focus elsewhere.  In still silent solitude, we are better positioned to listen to God so we can ever more discover our true selves.  

This rule directs us to take every opportunity we can to sing the Psalms in our hearts.  Insofar as we are to pray always,* again the Rule confirms my inclinations.  So often I find myself mindlessly wasting precious time on trivial concerns which ultimately do not matter.  Rather than burn up our energy on matters which are truly unimportant, instead we can strive to orient our hearts toward God in every instant.  

In his rule, Saint Romuald advises us not to feel discouraged when our minds wander from words of wisdom, which they certainly will.  Rather, we are once again to apply ourselves to The Word in front of us.  So often I find my mind straying off course.  Thus I so appreciate Saint Romuald's gentle encouragement, as a reminder to remain on course.  We should not feel downtrodden when we fall, since most certainly we shall fall; we must remain resolute and we must once again rise once we have fallen.  

Saint Romuald reminds us that we are in God's presence.  Jesus is with us always.**  We are to stand before God like a person standing before an emperor.  Seeing ourselves for what we truly are, nothing without the help of God, we are humbled.  Having been humbled, we are well-situated for God to work through the Holy Spirit in us.  

Realizing that we are nothing without the aid of God, we can empty ourselves.  Knowing that we can do nothing without God, we can wait for God to transform us.  Upon being humbled, we can receive the grace and strength from God we need, for God gives grace to the humble.***  

Seeing our true place, and humbled by the reality that we can do nothing without God, we can then open our hearts to God.  If we are silent and wait patiently upon God, we can be nourished by the presence of Jesus.  Our Lord Jesus empowers us to do the will of our Heavenly Father.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.****

By the grace of God, we can come to do what by human standards seems impossible.  For humans, to love like God loves is impossible.  For God, nothing is impossible.*****  

Through the grace of God, we become able to give to everyone who asks,****** as Jesus instructs us to do in today's Gospel reading.  Having sought the tender, warm, loving touch of Jesus in silence, stillness and solitude, we become empowered through the gentle strength of His presence to convey His love to others.  By opening our hearts to God, we welcome God into our hearts, so that Jesus abides in us,******* and loves others through us.  Opening our hearts to God, we allow God to love others through us.********  We can thus let the love of God be shown through us.  Let us let God love others through us.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:17 
** Matthew 28:20 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Philippians 4:13 
***** Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37 
****** Matthew 5:42 
******* John 15:9 
******** Romans 5:5 

Hoping Against Evidence

Today, on Holy Saturday, we witness to hope.  Yesterday, on Good Friday, we memorialized in a special way the crucifixion of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Today we especially remember His body in the tomb.  

Today we have the advantage of knowing that Jesus rose from the dead.  However, on the day in history when Jesus had been crucified the previous day, His disciples did not fully understand how He had told them that He was to suffer and die, and after three days rise from the dead.*  

In the midst of what seems like it can be nothing but tragedy, we face an immense temptation to despair.  It is at such overwhelmingly challenging moments that God calls us to hope.  
Recently I heard Cardinal Schonborn relate how our Blessed Mother Mary remained in her faith even on that first Holy Saturday.  The day after Jesus died, even then she had hope.  The Cardinal noted that tradition tells us that only our Blessed Mother kept the faith during that dark hour.  In the midst of what seemed like total defeat, she refused to give up hope.  

Our Blessed Mother Mary was hoping despite the evidence.  She hoped although what she saw was to the contrary.  We hope for what we do not see, and we look forward to it with persevering confidence.**  We look not to what is seen, but to what is unseen.***   

I hope for what I do not see with the eyes of this physical body.  And yet I can tell you that I hope for what I can see.  I can see my hope with my spiritual eyes.  I am being reassured of my goal, where I am striving to reach.  I cannot explain to you how I am being encouraged by those I cannot see, but I assure you, I am being drawn forward.  Although here is evidence which would never be admissible in any court of law, still I am presented with evidence.  On the basis of this evidence, I move forward in faith.  Thus emboldened by those who I somehow hear, and somehow I am inexplicably strengthened as I strive on toward the goal, as Saint Paul wrote, and in so writing, he implicitly incites us to do the same.****  

We proceed onward boldly in faith, hope and love, for we are empowered to do so by those who have gone before us.  Yet we also choose to define ourselves right now when we aim to think, pray, speak and act out of faith, hope and love.  We shape our own world right now, in the present, in this very instant, by our own individual choices.  

I have shared with you how Saint John of the Cross advised us, that where you do not see love, there put love, and there you will find love.  Now I say to you, where you do not see hope, there put hope, and there you will see hope.  

Similarly, I have repeated how Gandhi told us that you must be the change you wish to see in the world.  Now I say to you, you must be the hope you wish to see in the world.  

It has always been this way.  Two thousand years ago, when Jesus was crucified and was buried, His mother was faced with this choice, between despair and hope.  She chose hope.  Soon, and very soon, she was richly rewarded.  The Son she mourned rose from the dead, having been glorified by His Heavenly Father.  

In time she was abundantly rewarded in Heaven.  She was crowned in the midst of the glory of God, to the praise, honor and glory of God.  Our Blessed Mother Mary provides us with a model of faith, hope and love; through her example, she also consented to allow others to be illumined through the light shining through her.  She showed how hope is rewarded, through how she was crowned.  Upon this crowning Christians meditate while praying the rosary.  In so pondering and keeping these things in our hearts,***** we welcome the Holy Spirit to help us choose hope rather than despair.  

Each and every human being is presented with this choice, between despair and hope.  In how we respond, we determine how we contribute to shaping our world.  

We help the world become a better place through our thoughts, prayers, words and deeds.  But now is a dark hour, you say.  How can I possibly have hope?  In effect, in asking such a question, you ask how you can imitate our Blessed Mother Mary.  

Let us look at her life, then.  She was a lowly maiden.  She accepted her humble station in life.  When the angel appeared to her, informing her that she would give birth to Jesus, she obediently gave her assent to the will of God.  While she did not understand how she was to come to give birth, and she wondered how it could be so, still she promptly acquiesced to the will of God.******  God calls us too to submit to His will.  He has ordained all things for the good of those who love Him.*******  Thus we trust in Him who deeply loves us, who is loving us infinitely, and therefore far more than we can understand.  

When we realize that God's designs are far beyond our understanding, we are on the road to humility.  Once we are humble, we trust in God.  Turning over to God all that is occurring, and all that is to happen, we have hope in God, since, knowing that God is love,******** it is clear that we rest secure in the hope of the infinite love who is God.  Safe and secure in faith in God, confident in the hope of His promise, we journey surely on The Way home to Him.  Regardless of what seems to be occurring all around us, we strive on confidently certain toward the goal of resting forever in Him, in eternal love, in eternal life, now and forevermore.  Amen.  

* Matthew 20:19; Mark 8:31; Mark 10:34; Luke 18:33 
** Romans 8:25 
*** 2 Corinthians 4:18 
**** Philippians 3:14 
***** Luke 2:19 
****** Luke 1:26-38 
******* Romans 8:28 
******** 1 John 4:8, 16 

Compassionately Loving Neighbors

We show who we are in how we react when we see others suffering.  We declare who we are in what we wear and what we eat.  We proclaim who we are by what we do with the abundant resources at our disposal.  We determine our eternal destiny when we make these choices.  In choosing whether we are compassionate now, we decide where we are going.  We are to be compassionate and merciful toward our neighbor, just as God is compassionate and merciful towards us.  

And so we hear in today's Gospel that Jesus said to the Pharisees 

"There was a rich man 
who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, 
covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man's table.
Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.
When the poor man died,
he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham.
The rich man also died and was buried,
and from the netherworld, where he was in torment,
he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off
and Lazarus at his side.
And he cried out, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me.
Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water 
and cool my tongue,
for I am suffering torment in these flames.'
Abraham replied, 'My child,
remember that you received what was good during your lifetime
while Lazarus likewise received what was bad;
but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.
Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established
to prevent anyone from crossing
who might wish to go from our side to yours
or from your side to ours.'
He said, 'Then I beg you, father, send him
to my father's house,
for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.'
But Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.'
He said, 'Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
Then Abraham said,
'If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded
if someone should rise from the dead.'"*    

We can go about our day meditating on how we are affecting others or not pondering how we are affecting them.  We decide whether or not we acknowledge the impoverished person standing on the street asking for assistance.  Either we give to such individuals or we do not give to them.  Do we even think about how we affect their lives?  At every moment, we choose whether or not we are going to evaluate how our actions are impacting others.  

Like the rich man in the parable, do we wear fine clothing?  If we do, do we consider how it was made, by whom, and under what conditions?  Was it made by young children?  Was it manufactured by a destitute person, who is living in an underdeveloped country, who is not making enough money to live in safe, clean housing and to eat a nutritionally balanced diet everyday?  Gandhi said, "There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it causes hunger and unhappiness."  If we are not mindful of how the clothing was made that we wear, we might be financially supporting unjust working conditions of extremely poor persons.  We might be turning a blind eye to the plight of impoverished persons as we wear the fine cloth they have sewn in their underpaid labor.  

Similar to the rich man in the parable, do we eat delectable food everyday?  Who helped supply the ingredients in the food we eat?  Who picked the fruits and vegetables we eat?  Were they paid a fair wage for their back-breaking work?  In the companies we patronize, we are indirectly ratifying how they treat their employees.  In the marketplace, we vote with our dollars.  We can express our values in how we spend our cash.  By consciously directing our funds to companies which fairly treat their employees, we can show real, effective concern for our neighbors who are economically struggling.  

Do we too encounter an impoverished person who is languishing in illness?  Do we do anything to help such persons heal?  I think of a doctor I met who volunteers his services here in northern California.  He provides free medical care to homeless people.  These particular indigent persons push their belongings around in shopping carts.  They sleep in tents on sidewalks.  This doctor does not see himself as being above them.  He meets with them.  He sits down with them.  He serves them.  He does what he can to help them to heal.  He sees the sores on their bodies and not only believes that they deserve better than having their sores licked by dogs, as occurred in the parable.  He welcomes them, listens to them and does what he can to remedy their ailments.  He is not ignoring them, but is doing what he can to care for them.  

We too can help hurting people to heal.  When we cross paths with a homeless person, we can apply a soothing medicine to them as we simply acknowledge their presence.  In this easily applied remedy, we restore their dignity to them.  In merely greeting them, we admit that they are human beings who are worthy of our attention.  In simply speaking with them with courtesy, we give them a valuable gift of respect.  

Do we encounter people who would gladly eat their fill from the scraps of food from our tables, as Lazarus would have done with the scraps from the table of the rich man?  Again, we can easily, with almost no effort, hand food to homeless people.  If we know we are going to be walking down particular streets where we likely will pass homeless people, we can plan so that we bring extra food with us to give to them.  On a larger scale, I have happily and joyously witnessed companies here in Silicon Valley donating their food leftovers, from the lunches they provide their employees, to charitable organizations serving needy individuals.  There are many ways for the rich man to share his scraps with the least of those among us.  

Once we die, we will be sent where we deserve to be sent as a result of who we have helped.  After we die, we will go where we deserve to go based on what we have done.  

After death, what we receive will based on what we have given.  If we want to receive, we must give.  Today at Mass, in his homily the priest explained that if we give, then we receive.   

If we give our love to someone else, then we too are recipients of that love.  The Trappist monk Thomas Merton beautifully and eloquently explained that "love can only be kept by being given away."  He wrote that if we truly love others, then their good becomes our good.  Then we truly wish the best for other people.  Then we are compassionate for other persons, because we are so identified with them that we seek our good solely in their well-being.  

When we truly love our neighbor, then when someone, when the poor man at our doorstep, asks that we have pity on him, we most certainly express compassion for such a person in how we care for him.  Truly loving our neighbor, we do not turn a blind eye to the suffering of our neighbor.  

However, after death, will we be asking that pity be had on us?  Will we be asking to be relieved of suffering?  

During our life, what have we received?  During others' lives, what have they received?   

Do we live in luxury without acting out of compassion for those who live without basic necessities such as housing, food, clothing and medical care?  Do we turn away from the agony others are enduring?  If so, we invite eternal torment upon ourselves, the anguish of others that we refuse to alleviate now, while we still can.  

During Mass today, the priest noted that Lenten observances of more intense prayer, fasting and almsgiving are ultimately about stirring us to be more compassionate.  Through undertaking such penitential practices, we are to be led to be more merciful and compassionate toward our neighbor.  During Lent, we are to be moved to act, to ease the suffering of our neighbor.  

Now is the time to be compassionate.  After we die, we will not be able to send someone to warn others, to urge them to love their neighbor as themselves.**  

In the parable, the rich man asked Abraham to send Lazarus back from the dead to warn his brothers that they might have compassion and love their neighbor.  Abraham responded that they have Moses and the prophets, and that they should listen to them.  

The rich man realized that his brothers would not listen to the law of love that Moses delivered to the people.  He also knew that they also would not listen to the message of repentance from sin that the prophets had delivered over centuries.  The rich man replied that if someone from the dead went to them, they would repent.  Abraham told the rich man that if people don't believe Moses and the prophets, neither will they believe if someone comes back from the dead.  

I think of the book "90 Minutes In Heaven" and the film based on that book.  In this book and in this film, we hear from a man who died and came back to life.  He explains how, when he was dead, he went to Heaven.  He is only one of the people who have described this journey.  Persons have gone to Heaven and back: people still do not believe.  

Even though we already were given enough in Moses and the prophets, and in Jesus, who is The Word made flesh, suffering and dying for us to save us from our sins, and rising from the dead, still God gives more to us.  Although God had already given us plenty of signs and messages to convince us to believe, God loves us tirelessly.  God will keep trying to convince us to turn to Him.  God is love,*** and so God will keep on loving us forever.  

God loves us infinitely more than we can understand, since God is love, God is infinite, and God loves us infinitely.  God is merciful toward us, and has infinite compassion toward us.  

Thus we are called to be merciful, just as God is merciful to us.****  We are called to be compassionate, just as God is compassionate toward us.  We are called to love our neighbor, just as God loves us.  

* Luke 16:19-31 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** 1 John 4:8; 1 John 4:16  
**** Luke 6:36 

Joyfully Embracing Suffering

Recently I received an excellent example.  Once again someone right in front of me showed me how I am called to live.  

Yet again I have seen how living is found through dying.  I am reminded once more that all of us must decide how we view the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  In how we choose to respond, we determine the path we take.  In how we reply to Jesus giving Himself up for us, we set ourselves up for despair, or ultimately for rejoicing.  

I was reminded of these critical choices as I was speaking with a particular person about what material assistance she required, and how she could get it.  As we spoke with each other, suddenly tears welled up in her eyes.  Her voice cracked.  She said that she had watched the film "The Passion of the Christ" a half dozen times.  She said that every time she watches that film, she can't believe how we have treated Jesus.  

This woman, with whom I have interacted countless times, is showing me how I am to be grieved at the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus.  She demonstrates to me how my spirit is to ache at how Jesus died to save us.  

She recognizes the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  In that giving of Himself for us, she sees the great love Jesus has for us.  Since He has so loved us, she is greatly distressed when she considers how we have sorely mistreated Him.  

Who is this woman who is so disturbed at how we have so abused Jesus?  One might expect her always to have exhibited exemplary behavior.  Yet at one point, she was convicted of committing a felony.  Is that all she is?  We are defined by the choices we make, by the decisions we made which we now disavow, by who we embrace, by who we love.  Warm and loving people are in our lives, here to help us love.  Will we listen to them?  There are people in our lives who have opened their hearts to Jesus.  Will we close our hearts to them and to what they have to teach us?  

If we're busy judging someone, we can't learn from that person.  The individual we're convinced is worthless might be one who is worthy of our attention.  The person we think is failing in life in fact might be one for us to emulate.  

Due to our stubborn refusal to learn from those who have been sent to minister to us, we end up in spiritual shadows.  We insist upon standing in shadows rather than stepping forward into the light being shown towards us.  We turn aside from those who can teach us how to embrace the Cross and how to die to ourselves so we can live for our neighbor.  

There have been times I have been in spiritual turmoil, and after emerging from such spiritual darkness, I have realized that I had been in the midst of such spiritual turbulence because I had failed to reverence the Cross.  We would not struggle as we do if we were to meditate fruitfully upon the Passion of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  

I am not saying that we will not undergo trials if we properly value the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  I am saying that with appropriate reverence for His Passion, we would feel our apparent misfortune to be not so much of an ordeal but rather a gift.  Knowing that through His death and resurrection, Jesus set us free from the bonds of sin, and that through adversity we are purified and sanctified and drawn back home to God, we come to value hardship, even to welcome it joyfully, and thus come to view it illuminated in a completely new and transformative light.  

When the medieval mystic Julian of Norwich felt that she was being assaulted by demons, she fixed her eyes on the Cross.  After God had delivered her from the temptations she had been enduring, Jesus reminded her that the Devil is overcome through the Cross.  

We are lifted out of discomfort through our embracing of pain.  We are delivered from torment through the suffering of Jesus.  We are saved by embracing Jesus.  We are saved when we give up our lives for others.  We are saved when we love others as Jesus has loved us.*    

And so Jesus instructed Julian of Norwich to take comfort in the Cross.  He told her to trust in the Cross.  He assured her that she would not be overcome.  

And so we are all faced with this fundamental choice.  Do we capitulate to fear, or do we trust in God?  Out of pride, do we hide ourselves from God, not wanting to approach God, refusing to acknowledge that we are defenseless without Him?**  Do we turn to Jesus and embrace Him?  Do we turn toward the sacrifice we are called to make for our neighbor?  

While Jesus died for us, in addition to this generous gift of the sacrifice of His Son, God also gave us our free will.  Herein lies our part: we must choose.  Saint Augustine explained that "The God who made you without your cooperation will not save you without your cooperation."  For God to save us, we must turn to God.   

If we turn away from God, we act from a place of pride.  Pride leads to ruin.  If we turn to God, we value humility.  Humility leads to salvation.  

The person who is humble will find no cause for griping.  For when we truly and accurately grasp reality, we see that we have no cause for complaint.  

When we realize we are nothing, we see we can do nothing without God.  If we embrace our true identity, we recognize that we are to completely rely on God and welcome everything that He allows to come to us.  

Jesus embraced his true identity.  He saw that He was not only the Messiah, but also was the suffering servant foretold by the prophet Isaiah.***    

When we consider that Jesus did not have to suffer and die for us, but that He did so because He sought to do the will of His Heavenly Father, our perspective on pain shifts.  Jesus died for us because He loves us, for God is love.****  When we remember how much God loves us, how much God has given us, then we are led to embrace the obstacles we encounter.  Then, as Julian of Norwich reminds us, we see that "we should meekly and patiently bear and suffer the penance that God gives us, with mind of His blessed Passion.  For when we have mind of His blessed Passion, with pity and love, then we suffer with Him like as did His friends that saw it."  

If we meditate deeply on how Jesus was persecuted and on how He died for us, we hurt with Him.  Then we feel anguish out of love for Jesus, because we have crucified Him.  

There is a tendency also, when we are in agony, to assume that we have brought misfortune upon ourselves through our own imprudent choices.  Don't think that every hardship that falls upon you is your fault.  Jesus told Julian of Norwich, "Accuse not yourself that your tribulation and your woe is all your fault."  
Nor should we think, even when we have tried our utmost to lead outstanding lives, that God is unjustly punishing us when disaster befalls us.  Jesus also directed Julian of Norwich not to expect a lack of trials, saying to her, "For I tell you: whatever you do, you will have woe."  Even if we live in an upright manner, nevertheless inevitably we are going to have troubles.  We should anticipate that we will endure hardships.  

Despite the torments in this life now, in light of what awaits us on the other side of death, Julian of Norwich realized about this unavoidable agony we feel now in this life, that "this place is a prison: this life is a penance.  And in the remedy for it, He wills that we rejoice.  The remedy is that our Lord is with us, keeping us, and leading us to fullness of joy.  For this is endless joy to us, in our Lord's meaning, that He that will be our bliss when we come there--He is our keeper while we are here, our way and our Heaven in true love and faithful trust."  

Thus we are led to view our difficulties in perspective.  To appreciate suffering, we must be humble as Jesus was and is.  To realize the full value of our own pain, we must be grateful for how Jesus was agonized for us.  To be delivered from our distress, to be brought out of death into life, we are called to trust as Jesus trusted His Heavenly Father.  

In this life we can be sure that at times we are going to be in misery.  We can find meaning in our pain if we are open to what God is trying to show us.  We can learn if we open our hearts to how God wants to teach us through our neighbor.  

While we may feel that the torments of this life are nothing but torture, in such challenges we may be tasting the cure for all our woes.  Although we may find it difficult to do so, if we accept trying circumstances as opportunities for growth, we will become more than we have been.  Jesus showed us, through how He lived His earthly life, how we are to face pain.  We are to embrace suffering, through which we love our neighbor.  By dying to ourselves, so that we may live to our neighbor, we are saved.  When we welcome discomfort out of love of neighbor, we welcome our salvation.  

When we see that suffering out of love leads to salvation, we rejoice in the midst of hardships.  We triumph in the victory of the Cross because in His death and His resurrection, Jesus conquered death.  Death holds no power over those who have realized and embraced the saving power of the Cross.  Then, in dying, we are born to eternal life, as Jesus taught us when He walked on this earth, and as He continues to teach us.  

Jesus is always with us.*****  Jesus is sending His Holy Spirit upon us, reminding us of all He has told us.******  Jesus is guiding us into all truth,******* The Truth of who He is, and the truth of who we are.  When we finally realize the truth, we are set free,******** and so we rejoice.   

As Julian of Norwich explained that Jesus wills for us, if we shift our hearts from the pain we feel to the bliss that we trust to have, we will start to feel a slight foretaste of the joy waiting for us for eternity in Heaven.  If we have the humility to trust that God is drawing us back home to Him through our current afflictions, we are given the grace and strength we need to endure these present difficulties.*********    

When we have genuine faith in God, we welcome all that happens, whether it be pain or comfort.  If we truly trust in God, we open our hearts to all that God is trying to teach us.  When we embrace all that happens, we will be joyful.  If we trust God, we know that God loves us.  Knowing the truth that God loves us infinitely, we rejoice.  If we see the truth now, in an abundance of joy, we begin to live in eternal life while still on earth.  

* John 13:34 
** Genesis 3:8 
*** Isaiah 42, 49, 50, 52, 53, 61 
**** 1 John 4:8; 1 John 4:16  
***** Matthew 28:20 
****** John 14:26 
******* John 16:13 
******** John 8:32 
********* 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6