Listen To Echoes

The truth of who we are echoes over our lives.  The persistent emergence of our identity resounds in our souls, a message which, in its recurrence, repeatedly encourages us to stay true to who God faithfully calls us to be, and to evermore become.  

During my present stay here at the hermitage, I have been witnessing how my life continues to unfold consistently in ways which reinforce how God calls me to be who He has always meant me to be.  In the midst of this stay here, I hear my life echoing who I am.  

These few days of retreat seem like they can be taken as a tiny version of the year and a half I lived here.  In the ebb and flow of my emotions now, and in the present stirrings in my soul, and in the current movements of the Holy Spirit within me, I am reminded of similar interior shifts when I resided here.  

Much like when I moved in a few years ago to live here, similarly a couple of nights ago I was filled with joy and excitement at the prospect of basking in the stillness and silence and solitude here, so conducive to prayer and meditation.  Upon both arrivals, I deeply breathed in this contemplative atmosphere.  

Both three years ago and two days ago, I calmed down soon after arriving.  I began to take stock of who I am, namely someone with monastic tendencies, yet also with great love of those who are poor.  Then I came to see myself, and now I view myself, as a servant of those who are impoverished, and as having an inner monk I am to nourish through spiritual disciplines I can follow even in the midst of whatever activity occupies me.  

I practiced such attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit amidst busy days while I still lived here.  After I had lived here for about half a year, I started driving monks who couldn't drive, usually to their doctor appointments.  Today, about halfway through this visit, I drove to Carmel and picked up a monk; he was on his way back from monastic business with other Camaldolese monks in Italy.  After meeting him in Carmel, I brought him back here to the hermitage.  

As I progressed in my residence here, I concluded that it didn't seem that God was calling me to become a monk here, but that God had been calling me to be here so I could deepen my prayer life.  Similarly, while I have been deeply nourished during the last couple of days here, it seems clear to me that I am to ponder in my heart, as our Blessed Mother Mary did.*  I feel I am to retain and treasure what has so nurtured me and allow it to guide me and to empower me and to light my path** as I strive to serve my neighbors, many of whom are poor.  As the Trappist monk Thomas Merton noted, we are to bring the contemplative treasures we have been given and share those spiritual fruits out in the world.  We are to share with others the great love which God has bestowed upon us.  

To properly serve, we must show great love.  If we empty ourselves, God can fill us with His love.  Nourished by the presence of Jesus, especially felt in stillness and silence and solitude, we can help others to feel the presence of Jesus.  If we remain in Jesus, and Jesus in us,*** we can bear much fruit in His name; conversely, without Him, we can do nothing.****  If we are filled with the love of God,***** we can recognize Jesus in those who are the least among us,****** and we can welcome Jesus into our hearts.  

When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we hear and welcome The Word which God has been speaking in eternity.  The Word, the love of God, has been echoing for all eternity.  We hear this echo calling to us in the depths of our souls.  When we hear, and listen to, and respond with open hearts to this repeating invitation, we become who God has always intended us to be.  

* Luke 2:19 
** Psalm 119:105 
*** John 15:4,5,6,7,9,10 
**** John 15:5 
***** Romans 5:5 
****** Matthew 25:40,45 

Lovingly Welcome Martyrdom

This afternoon I arrived back here at the hermitage for my first visit since I stopped living here at the beginning of last summer.  Being here again, I am reminded of why I entered formation here on the path to becoming a monk: the silence and solitude so conducive to prayer and meditation; the liturgical schedule which includes communal prayer three times a day, in addition to daily Mass; and the warm, welcoming hospitality of these gracious monks.  

Yet I recollect that while I felt that God called me to live at this hermitage for a time so I could learn to deepen my prayer life, I feel that it has been clear to me for quite some time now that God has not given me the grace to be a monk.  A while ago I also concluded that I have an inner monk, who I am to nurture consciously, deliberately and mindfully, through the spiritual disciplines of prayer, worship, celebration of God's blessings, silence, solitude, simplicity and service, among other spiritual practices.  

God has given me the wisdom to realize that these spiritual disciplines help me to turn my attention toward Him, to focus on Him, and to hear Him and to listen to Him.  God gives us what we need to do His will.  We might get caught up in craving something that we would like to do to try to serve Him, but while we have our own hopes of how to serve God, in insisting upon them, we might be clinging to ideas which are our own, and are not according to the plan God has in mind for us.  

Today at Mass here, in his sermon Father Cyprian recalled how both Saint Francis and Saint Romuald longed to die as martyrs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  Yet, Father Cyprian explained to us, God had not given Saint Francis and Saint Romuald the grace to be martyrs.  Father Cyprian went on to note that dying as a martyr is not something we can reach out and grasp; we must be given the grace to die as a martyr.  God gives us the grace we need to do His will.  

However, Father Cyprian gave us hope as he continued his homily.  He instructed us that God calls all of us to be martyrs for love.  We are to die to our own desires, so that, having emptied ourselves, God can fill us with His grace so that, filled with His love,* we can serve as the conduits through which God sends His love to our neighbors, so that they may receive what they need.  

I was reminded of these truths this morning when I received a message from someone I'll call "Paul."  God has blessed both Paul and me with the same certain person in our lives, who I'll call "Lauren."  Lauren is homeless and she also suffers from a drug addiction.  Paul and I have discussed much how we might be able to help Lauren, who keeps making decisions which threaten her spiritual, psychological and physical health.  While we can see Lauren as disappointing us, and based on that dissatisfaction, we could choose to isolate her and shun her, if we were to do so, we would be deciding to allow our emotions to control us.  Or we can choose to let our irritation with her not dominate us, but instead die to our natural inclinations, instead letting love rule us.  

When we forgive, we die to our selfish instincts to cling to our pain of how we feel we have been hurt.  As we forgive, we selflessly love the other person.  When we forgive, we also love ourselves, since we free ourselves from the prison in which we had been enclosing ourselves: when we forgive our neighbor, we let go of the pain which had been enslaving us, through the torment we had been deciding to impose on both our neighbor and on ourselves by previously refusing to forgive our neighbor.  

When we allow ourselves to be humbled, then God gives us the grace** we need to forgive our neighbor.  If we forgive our neighbor, we treat our neighbor as we would like to be treated, since we too would like to be forgiven.  When we forgive our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves*** as Jesus taught us to do.  When we die to our own pain, we become martyrs for love.  Having let go of our pain, God can fill us with His grace, so that, filled with His love, we can give others the love they need.  In loving through the free gift of the grace of God,**** we glorify God.  In dying to ourselves, and in forgiving our neighbor, and thus loving our neighbor, we become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5 
*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14  
**** Ephesians 2:8 

Waste Not Tears

We are all faced over and over with the decision of whether or not we will love.  We all choose our relationship with pain.  We all decide whether we embrace suffering or reject it.  In what we accept or deny, we determine whether or not we love.  

We can cry out of hopeless desperation, feeling frantic, and convinced that all is lost.  Or we can profoundly weep out of great love for others.  

We can let tears fall from our eyes without realizing their value.  Or we can weep offering our tears as prayers to God.  

All we send out from our being echoes out into the universe.  As a tear falls from your eye, if you offer it as a humble prayer to God, when it drops into the liquid lake of spiritual solidarity we share, you can implicitly offer that tear to help others.  Your tearful prayers are effective when they are offered as the basis of humble and earnest prayer.  When such humble, ardent tears of yours hit the liquid lake of spiritual community we share, these tears send out ripples of love across that surface.  Thus through such tears you can seek to strengthen your spiritual brothers and sisters.  

I am not merely speaking in theoretical terms here.  Ever since earlier this week, when a dear homeless friend who I'll once again here call "Sally" shared with me how she views tears as liquid prayers, her statement of spiritual insight has been echoing in my soul.  Like a drop of water that falls into a pond and causes ripples outward, so her tender spiritual musing, coming into contact with my ears, has been echoing in my soul.  
Despite the struggle, Sally has chosen not to let her agonizing experiences dominate how she responds to life.  As I have mentioned in prior blog posts, Sally has endured domestic violence.  Despite having been hit hard many times by multiple men, Sally refuses to be enslaved by the pain she has felt.  Instead she offers up her tears to God.  Interwoven with her sensitivity and fragility, she also displays a courageous and admirable tenacity, and so she sends out a strong message of faith, hope and love, that pain can be the basis of a beautiful transformation of one's spirit.   

Knowing, then, that we can consent to our suffering being transformed into the joy that emerges out of service of others, we can come to experience a radical alteration of how we feel pain, see pain, and respond to pain.  Aware that God works all for the good of those who love Him,* we come to realize that even anguish can lead to joy, if we seize upon such opportunities to petition God.  Thus in all we experience we can be joyous,** if all we do is for the praise, glory and honor of God.  

Conscious that all we experience presents us chances to glorify God by assenting to call upon Him so He may show us His great love always, we come to give thanks always for all things.***  As we come to express such gratitude at all times, God comes to give us a deep, abiding and enduring peace, as, feeling His love, Jesus comes to abide in us, and we in Him.****  

Let us embrace every opportunity we have, then, including in the midst of our tears, to pray constantly,***** give thanks for all things always, and thus love God and love our neighbor.  Thus we come to live a life of love.  Amen.  

* Romans 8:28 
** 1 Thessalonians 5:16 
*** 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
**** John 15:4-7,9-10
***** 1 Thessalonians 5:17 

Presently Loving Others

It turns out I'm going to stay here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  A few months ago the other Catholic Workers here told me they'd been more pleased with my work than when we'd previously spoken months earlier about my work and about whether or not I'd stay here.  Consequently, they said I could keep living and working here long-term.  

Larry, who founded the Redwood City Catholic Worker House dozens of years ago, wondered if I'd been throwing myself more into the work simply because I'd become more comfortable and because I had relaxed.  In our work, we pick up donations, including of food and clothing and toiletries, and people come here to the Catholic Worker House and get what they need.  Apparently I have been immersing myself more in this work, although I haven't been aware of any change in myself.  

Susan noted how I've been connecting with homeless folks and other persons who are especially in need here in Redwood City.  She talked about how homeless folks come to our front porch to get items that are donated and left there, and how they know me.  

Both Larry and Susan were receptive to my continuing to live and work here at the Catholic Worker House.  They expressed how they felt it could be beneficial if I were to stay.  

I've felt and heard the gratitude my homeless friends and my other impoverished friends have shown to us Catholic Workers here.  I enjoy when they give thanks, and I feel their thankfulness is a reward, but their gratitude is not the reason I do this work.  We are to serve our neighbor because we are to love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus has instructed us to do.  

In the love I feel for them, and in their appreciation of our presence and our ministry, I find indications that love is blooming in their hearts.  Love can bloom in our hearts if we welcome every little chance we get to plant little seeds of love in our lives.  Saint Therese of Lisieux was named The Little Flower, for she had this little way of doing little loving acts for others.  In the little acts of love we can strive to perform for others, and in joyous gestures of thanks people give us in return, we can see the fruits of love flowering out of the little seeds of love that have been planted in each others' hearts.  

And so I cannot help but suspect that I am where God wishes me to be.  God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  Thus the Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade counsels us to open our hearts to what we are being called to do in the present.  Indeed, when you embrace the duty of the present moment, and love your neighbor who is right in front of you, you please God.  

Sometimes in various ways we can find surprising this duty that has been placed in front of us.  We can become blinded to what God is asking us to do if we become too attached to our own notions of ourselves.  If we are not detached from our own conceptions of ourselves, we are not opening ourselves up to God to allow ourselves to conceive what God wants to bring to birth through us.  

We can come to overvalue realizations we've had about ourselves in the midst of discernment, such that we can unwittingly let such knowledge about ourselves come to dominate us and unduly influence our decisions.  We do well to temper our self-knowledge against the backdrop of our current circumstances, in the context of where we currently find ourselves.  Right now, who are we being asked to love?  As we love our neighbor, we witness the fruits of that love in the joy we feel.  Love and joy are two signs that we are accurately discerning our vocation, which is what God is calling each of us to do.  

We do well to try to cultivate gardens of love in our hearts.  We can evaluate the health of what is growing in our hearts by means of the joy we feel.  

Thus we can check our relying too much on our self-knowledge, and we can prevent ourselves from letting it drive our actions too strongly, by looking at the love and joy in our hearts.  The love and joy in our hearts is threatened by the selfishness that our egos tend to inflict upon ourselves and on others.  We should not discard our self-knowledge, but also we should not let it control our discernment so much that we use it as an excuse to ignore what God is calling us to do right now.  

As I'd mentioned in a previous blog post, I'd come to find that I do better where there is more structure, and when I am specifically directed what to do.  Yet I've also found that we do well when we don't cling rigidly to our expectations of what we think our ministry is supposed to look like.  Yes, I do well with structure and direction; yet even though I know I have these tendencies, I don't have to be closely directed in a highly structured environment.  Yet I should be conscious of these tendencies, and let these insights influence how I structure my day.  If I am obedient to the duty of the present moment, then I can find the direction I crave by lovingly serving my neighbor when she asks me to do so.  

So, in time, I have been coming to discover that I find the direction I seek coming directly from my neighbor.  The Holy Spirit speaks to us through others.  When we love and serve our neighbor, we submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  As we embrace the duty to give lovingly what our neighbor needs right now, we obey the will of God.  

And so, submitting to the demands of the present, and obediently acquiescing to what God is asking me to do now, I find the direction I seek.  As I open my heart to give the love that my neighbor requests of me, my day becomes structured by what I find the Holy Spirit asking me, through my neighbor, to do for my neighbor.  

And so I am here.  I do not know how long I will be here.  Indefinitely I will be here.  There is no clear indication that the Holy Spirit is guiding me elsewhere.  In contrast, I feel community and connection and warmth and love with these homeless and other needy people here.  I am grateful to God that I can be with them here.  And so I embrace these lovely opportunities with these people in need right now, who are right in front of me.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Wonders From Humility

God is always extending His hand to us.  God will not force us to come to Him.  God loves us so much that He gave us our free will to use as we choose.  

And so God invites us to become more than we have been.  God asks us to assent to His plan, to let ourselves be humbled so that great things may be done through us.  

We are reminded that God works in this way as we celebrate today the Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Today as we remember how our Blessed Mother Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth, we recall that God lifts up the lowly and exalts them.  We hear of these wonders in today's Gospel, where we are told that 

Mary set out 
and traveled to the hill country in haste 
to a town of Judah, 
where she entered the house of Zechariah 
and greeted Elizabeth.  
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, 
the infant leaped in her womb, 
and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, 
cried out in a loud voice and said, 
"Most blessed are you among women, 
and blessed is the fruit of your womb.  
And how does this happen to me, 
that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  
For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, 
the infant in my womb leaped for joy.  
Blessed are you who believed 
that what was spoken to you by the Lord 
would be fulfilled."  

And Mary said: 
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; 
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.  
From this day all generations will call me blessed: 
the Almighty has done great things for me, 
and holy is his Name.  

He has mercy on those who fear him 
in every generation.  
He has shown the strength of his arm, 
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.  
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, 
and has lifted up the lowly.  
He has filled the hungry with good things, 
and the rich he has sent away empty.  
He has come to the help of his servant Israel 
for he has remembered his promise of mercy, 
the promise he made to our fathers, 
to Abraham and his children for ever."  

Mary remained with her about three months
and then returned to her home.*  

When her cousin Elizabeth was pregnant, our Blessed Mother Mary set out to the home of Elizabeth.  She went to share with Elizabeth the Good News that Jesus was to be born.  She went to minister to Elizabeth in her pregnancy.  Our Blessed Mother Mary went to serve Elizabeth.  We can emulate our Blessed Mother Mary by serving others.  

When our Blessed Mother Mary entered the home of her cousin Elizabeth, Elizabeth exclaimed, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb."  We find this declaration of the blessedness of our Blessed Mother Mary and her Son Jesus not only in the Gospel according to Saint Luke.  Also while reciting the rosary, Christians proclaim the blessedness of our Lord Jesus and His Mother Mary.  We too can join Saint Elizabeth and feel the joy of The Visitation by praying the rosary.  

Elizabeth wondered, "How does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?"  Elizabeth was honored to be visited by our Blessed Mother Mary, yet she could not fathom how she could be accorded the great privilege of being visited by the mother of the Messiah.  We too can wonder how we can be so blessed that our Blessed Mother Mary dotes such great kindness upon us, given our abhorrent sinfulness.  We receive such marvelous and magnanimous assistance from our Blessed Mother since she is humble, loving and sweet.  She answers our cries because she loves us so very much.  Thus we are to cry out to her now, as we are mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.  She very much wants us to call out to her, to ask her to intercede with her Son on our behalf.  

It truly only begins to describe the tremendous effectiveness of our Blessed Mother's intercession to say that she is a formidable intercessor for us.  If people only realized how much sway her prayers have in Heaven, far more people would be seeking her intercession.  Full of the knowledge of how our Blessed Mother Mary protects us if we but call out to her, we are full of joy.  Similarly, right after our Blessed Mother Mary entered the home of Elizabeth, Elizabeth cried out, "The infant in my womb leapt for joy."  In the womb of Elizabeth, Saint John the Baptist was rejoicing at the arrival of our Blessed Mother Mary.  In the loving care of our Blessed Mother Mary, we have nothing to fear, so we rejoice.  

Elizabeth said to our Blessed Mother Mary, "Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled."  Our Blessed Mother Mary has been so blessed because, during her life here on earth, she was filled with faith.  If we too wish to be blessed, we do will well to embrace the gift of faith from God.  

Our Blessed Mother Mary then replied, "My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord."  Our Blessed Mother Mary strove to live out the greatest commandment, "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."**  First and foremost in the heart of our Blessed Mother Mary was the desire to open her heart to the will of God.  God calls us too to open our hearts to His will for us.  

Our Blessed Mother Mary told Elizabeth that her spirit rejoiced in God Her Savior.  When we know God saves us, we rejoice.  When we realize we have nothing to fear, we rejoice.  

She knew that God had looked with favor on His lowly servant.  Our Blessed Mother Mary was a poor peasant, yet God bestowed immense grace upon her.  God gives grace to the humble.***  

Well aware of how abundantly God had blessed her, our Blessed Mother Mary confidently announced that all generations would call her blessed.  She knew that she would be remembered as a shining, luminous reflection of God's great glory.  

All generations call Mary blessed because the Almighty has done great things for her.  God has shown His mighty glory through our Blessed Mother Mary.  

Having been reminded of what God had done for her, our Blessed Mother Mary proclaimed that Holy is the name of God.  She knew that all glory belongs to God, so she proclaimed that His name is holy.  We too must keep in mind that all glory is to go to God.  

Since she had experienced His great mercy, she explained that He has mercy on those who fear Him in every generation.  When we realize who we are, namely that we are nothing without God, we fear Him, and we beg Him for mercy.  

Our Blessed Mother Mary described how God has scattered the proud.  She noted that He has cast down the mighty.  God opposes the proud.****  To be like our Blessed Mother Mary, we must turn away from the temptation to pride; we must be humble like our Blessed Mother Mary.  

Everyone who raises himself up will be humbled.  The one who humbles himself will be raised up.*****  

Our Blessed Mother Mary experienced Herself how God lifted up the lowly.  God exalted her, an impoverished little girl.  God gives grace to the humble.  

And so our Blessed Mother Mary declared that God had filled the hungry with good things.  Some people question why there are poor people in the world.  Some ask why there is suffering.  The poor are blessed insofar as they are close to God.  The more desperate we are, the more we cry out to God with earnest prayer, and thus the more likely God is to grant our prayers.  God fills those who are hungry with good things, which provide them the spiritual nourishment they need to survive into true life together with Him.  

Often we think that those who are materially rich are blessed.  So often those who are materially rich are spiritually impoverished.  If we are too comfortable, we do not pray as we should. And thus often the rich are sent away empty, as our Blessed Mother Mary noted.  If we are not humble, we are not accorded grace.  

And yet if we have humility, if we submit ourselves to the will of God, then God comes to our help.  And so our Blessed Mother Mary rejoiced that God had come to the help of His servant Israel.  She was grateful that God had remained faithful to His promise of mercy.  God is merciful, since He is faithful to His promise.  God is faithful, even if we are unfaithful.  He cannot be unfaithful, for His Word is truth.******  

And so if we but give our consent to be humbled like our Blessed Mother Mary was, God will give us the grace we need to do His will.  Opening our hearts to God, God will work wonders through us, just as He worked wonders through our Blessed Mother Mary.  

* Luke 1:39-56 
** Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27; Deuteronomy 6:5 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
***** Matthew 23:12; Luke 14:11; Luke 18:14 
****** John 14:6 

Little Loving Present

This morning I picked up and dropped off food donations.  When I got home, I was happily surprised to see a few of our friends on our front porch.  

One of them, who I'll call "Betty" here, asked me for a pen and paper so she could exchange contact information with someone I'll call "Jane" here.  Someone I'll call "Christy" asked me for a bag so she could more easily carry the items she had just gotten for free that had been left on our front porch.  

When I had gotten what they had requested, I came back out onto the porch to give them the seemingly insignificant items they wanted.  First I gave a pen to Betty, along with a little pad ornately decorated with colorful flowers and sparkling designs, and told her she could keep it.  Then I said to Christy something like, "And much less impressively, here is this bag."  

Immediately Jane got up and came over to me.  She embraced me.  Right away I could tell she needed comfort.  I rested my head against hers and really tried to soothe her with calm and peace as we hugged.  

Before today I had already known that Jane was homeless.  However, after I saw Jane today, someone told me that all of her possessions had just been stolen.  She had nothing.  In the context of being bereft of all she had had, she was in dire need of tenderness and kindness.  She just needed someone to do merely what they were capable of doing, showing her love.  

We do these things in life we don't even consider.  We do little things we forget.  We don't even think about them, so we wouldn't even think that they matter even if we did think about them.  

Yet tiny little moments can be windows of opportunity for great love to be shown through us. If we open ourselves up to what is happening right in front of us, we can let God love others through us.  

In each tiny fragment of time, we can be present to our neighbor to perform little acts of love for each other.  In this vein, I have been wondering if anyone has ever written about the convergence and intersection of thought amongst "The Story of a Soul" by The Little Flower, that is Saint Therese of Lisieux, and "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, and "The Cloud of Unknowing" by an anonymous medieval author.  

The anonymous author of "The Cloud of Unknowing" wrote of how we are responsible for even fractions of seconds.  Thus, even an instant, although it is so brief, holds much significance, since it holds the potential for great love to be expressed in it.  

Saint Therese of Lisieux wrote of how she would get to Heaven along her little way of serving her neighbor through little loving actions.  She saw her vocation as being one of love expressed in small gestures of love for others.  

The Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade, in his book "The Sacrament of the Present Moment," explains that we find our duty to God in the present moment.  He explained that we serve God when we embrace what the present moment requires of us.  
If we are attentive to what the current moment presents to us, then in every microscopic moment, we can realize immense potential to love through seemingly insignificant little acts of charity towards others.  Jesus told us that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we could move mountains.*  If love that is the size of a mustard seed is in our hearts, we can move mountains with this little love.  The mustard seed of our little loving act may bear much fruit in the heart of the person who receives the love of God that is being shown through us.  If we embrace the duty currently being presented to us, if we agree to love our neighbor** in little ways, even in fleeting instants, we can be witness to much love blooming in the hearts of others.  

Each of our little loving acts can be little flowers.  And from one little action of love, much love can be sown in the heart of another, just as from one little flower, much pollen can spread and germinate and bear much fruit.  

We can become convinced that some actions are insignificant.  How do we know this to be so?  We can assume some acts have no important impact.  How can we be sure this is so?  

Do we think that what we do makes no difference?  Maybe we think it makes no difference to us, but maybe it makes a big difference to someone else.  

* Matthew 17:20; Mark 11:23  
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Trust Always Thanks

Do we thank God always?*  No matter what is happening, do we trust God that all is going to work out in the end to be all right?  

In a previous blog post I mentioned Samah, who is our guest here at the Catholic Worker House.  Today Samah and I received good reminders of the need to give thanks to God always and to trust in God always.  In the midst of what seemed like a predicament, we saw how the Providence of God works all things to the good of those who love Him.**  

This morning I went to pick up a donation of food at one location and to drop off a donation of food at another place.  Once I had returned home and had parked the van across the street from the Catholic Worker House, I was on the sidewalk about to open the side of the van to remove some food I had picked up for the house.  

I looked up and saw Samah on the sidewalk waving to me.  Now, typically when I'm out on the sidewalk and Samah and I see each other, she waves to me.  However, today, when I first saw her, she was waving a bit insistently to me.  At first I was puzzled over why she was waving so emphatically to me.  I asked her if she had gotten locked out of the house.  She replied that her car was at the gas station and wouldn't start.  We walked together a few blocks to the gas station.  

At her request, I tried starting the car so I could hear the sound it had been making when she had been trying to start it.  Upon trying to start it, I told her that, with my limited knowledge of car mechanics, I wondered whether she needed a new starter given the sound it was making.  

Then we pushed and steered the car as it was in neutral gear.  Soon a young man, who had been hanging out in the park on the other side of the street, ran across the street and asked us if we wanted his assistance in moving the car.  We gladly accepted his help, and he helped us push it to the gas pump.  

Once we had gotten the car to the pump, we introduced ourselves to each other. He told me his name is Mario.  He mentioned that he works in a Christian ministry which serves homeless folks.  I was so glad to meet him!  I enjoyed hearing about his ministry, since he serves some of the same persons who come to the Catholic Worker House for help.  He told us that after we had put gas in it, if we needed his help again to push it away from the pump, we could call him back over to us from across the street.  

Samah put five dollars in her gas tank.  Then she tried again to start the car, but it wouldn't start.  At some point, frustrated, she exclaimed, "I don't want this car!"  

At some point while we were at the gas pump, I turned and saw that a man was in a car waiting to use the pump after Samah.  I explained to him, "Her car wouldn't start, so we pushed it to the pump to see if it needed gas."  

He replied, "I'll buy that car."  As I stared at him in disbelief, he explained, "That's what I do.  I buy cars."  

I responded, "Great!  Can we get your number?"  He gave us his number, which made Samah very happy, as she was receiving contact information for someone who wanted to buy the car she didn't want to keep.  

After we realized at the pump that the car wasn't going to start, I got Mario's attention from across the street.  He came back over to us and helped us push the car out to the street, where Samah maneuvered it to the curb, where she parked.  After expressing our gratitude yet again to Mario, Samah and I parted ways with him and began to walk home.  

As we were walking home, I pointed out to Samah, "You see?  You wanted to get rid of this car, and now you know of someone who will buy it."  I said that when things seem to be going astray, God is working things out for us.  

She replied joyfully, "God, I love you!"  

When something seems to go wrong, do we thank God?  When events are unfolding in our lives such that we feel our lives are unraveling, do we have faith in God and trust in Him?  

Today we witnessed the loving care of God.  Yet again we heard the call from God for us to abandon ourselves to Him and to trust in Him.  Today once again we saw how God takes care of us, even when we think all is lost.  

And so, having seen the obvious evidence of God's loving Providence today, we are called to deepen our trust in Him.  I said to Samah, raising my hands toward the sky and shaking them, perhaps God is asking us in such a manner, "Do you trust Me now?"  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
** Romans 8:28 

Humility Gives Help

From time to time I remember a certain day from a couple of months ago.  I was outside the van I use to transport supplies.  I had unloaded some cardboard boxes onto the sidewalk since I was going to discard them.  

A well-dressed, carefully manicured stranger was walking down the sidewalk.  She was absorbed in her phone.  She didn't even look up when she neared me.  

Right around the same time, a homeless woman who I'll call "Lisa" walked up to me and asked me if I would like some assistance.  She started to help me to rip up some of the boxes.  

I was struck by the contrast between how the two women treated me.  The one who society sees as a well-adjusted individual did not interact with me.  The other one, who society views as a maladjusted person who fails to meet economic expectations, was the one who offered to aid me in my work.  

Lisa, who is homeless, gave of herself.  She volunteered to serve.  
Someone might say that I knew Lisa, and that is why she inquired if I would like some help.  Someone might further point out that strangers are unlikely to walk up to people they don't know and ask if they need any help.  

However, Lisa is not the only impoverished person to ask if I needed assistance when I am working on a task outside the house here.  Other poor people of various levels of acquaintance with me have volunteered to help me when I am occupied with work outside.  

People help when they are humble.  When people are poor, they have been humbled, and so they help.

Humility drastically increases the likelihood that someone will volunteer their time.  A humble person, having lost, sees the necessity to give, and thus is ready to give of themselves.  

We receive from humble people.  When we are surrounded by poor persons, we receive.  

In giving of themselves, humble people implicitly welcome others.  Since homeless persons here in Redwood City often are considerate and give of themselves, I feel such a sense of community with them.  I feel supported by them in my efforts to follow the teaching of Jesus that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.*  

Being implicitly encouraged to love my neighbor, I am being welcomed into joy.  Love leads to joy.  

I feel joy here in Redwood City because the homeless people here teach me how to give of myself and encourage me to love my neighbor.  When we give and love, we feel joy.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Compassionately Loving Neighbors

We show who we are in how we react when we see others suffering.  We declare who we are in what we wear and what we eat.  We proclaim who we are by what we do with the abundant resources at our disposal.  We determine our eternal destiny when we make these choices.  In choosing whether we are compassionate now, we decide where we are going.  We are to be compassionate and merciful toward our neighbor, just as God is compassionate and merciful towards us.  

And so we hear in today's Gospel that Jesus said to the Pharisees 

"There was a rich man 
who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, 
covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man's table.
Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.
When the poor man died,
he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham.
The rich man also died and was buried,
and from the netherworld, where he was in torment,
he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off
and Lazarus at his side.
And he cried out, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me.
Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water 
and cool my tongue,
for I am suffering torment in these flames.'
Abraham replied, 'My child,
remember that you received what was good during your lifetime
while Lazarus likewise received what was bad;
but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.
Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established
to prevent anyone from crossing
who might wish to go from our side to yours
or from your side to ours.'
He said, 'Then I beg you, father, send him
to my father's house,
for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.'
But Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.'
He said, 'Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
Then Abraham said,
'If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded
if someone should rise from the dead.'"*    

We can go about our day meditating on how we are affecting others or not pondering how we are affecting them.  We decide whether or not we acknowledge the impoverished person standing on the street asking for assistance.  Either we give to such individuals or we do not give to them.  Do we even think about how we affect their lives?  At every moment, we choose whether or not we are going to evaluate how our actions are impacting others.  

Like the rich man in the parable, do we wear fine clothing?  If we do, do we consider how it was made, by whom, and under what conditions?  Was it made by young children?  Was it manufactured by a destitute person, who is living in an underdeveloped country, who is not making enough money to live in safe, clean housing and to eat a nutritionally balanced diet everyday?  Gandhi said, "There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it causes hunger and unhappiness."  If we are not mindful of how the clothing was made that we wear, we might be financially supporting unjust working conditions of extremely poor persons.  We might be turning a blind eye to the plight of impoverished persons as we wear the fine cloth they have sewn in their underpaid labor.  

Similar to the rich man in the parable, do we eat delectable food everyday?  Who helped supply the ingredients in the food we eat?  Who picked the fruits and vegetables we eat?  Were they paid a fair wage for their back-breaking work?  In the companies we patronize, we are indirectly ratifying how they treat their employees.  In the marketplace, we vote with our dollars.  We can express our values in how we spend our cash.  By consciously directing our funds to companies which fairly treat their employees, we can show real, effective concern for our neighbors who are economically struggling.  

Do we too encounter an impoverished person who is languishing in illness?  Do we do anything to help such persons heal?  I think of a doctor I met who volunteers his services here in northern California.  He provides free medical care to homeless people.  These particular indigent persons push their belongings around in shopping carts.  They sleep in tents on sidewalks.  This doctor does not see himself as being above them.  He meets with them.  He sits down with them.  He serves them.  He does what he can to help them to heal.  He sees the sores on their bodies and not only believes that they deserve better than having their sores licked by dogs, as occurred in the parable.  He welcomes them, listens to them and does what he can to remedy their ailments.  He is not ignoring them, but is doing what he can to care for them.  

We too can help hurting people to heal.  When we cross paths with a homeless person, we can apply a soothing medicine to them as we simply acknowledge their presence.  In this easily applied remedy, we restore their dignity to them.  In merely greeting them, we admit that they are human beings who are worthy of our attention.  In simply speaking with them with courtesy, we give them a valuable gift of respect.  

Do we encounter people who would gladly eat their fill from the scraps of food from our tables, as Lazarus would have done with the scraps from the table of the rich man?  Again, we can easily, with almost no effort, hand food to homeless people.  If we know we are going to be walking down particular streets where we likely will pass homeless people, we can plan so that we bring extra food with us to give to them.  On a larger scale, I have happily and joyously witnessed companies here in Silicon Valley donating their food leftovers, from the lunches they provide their employees, to charitable organizations serving needy individuals.  There are many ways for the rich man to share his scraps with the least of those among us.  

Once we die, we will be sent where we deserve to be sent as a result of who we have helped.  After we die, we will go where we deserve to go based on what we have done.  

After death, what we receive will based on what we have given.  If we want to receive, we must give.  Today at Mass, in his homily the priest explained that if we give, then we receive.   

If we give our love to someone else, then we too are recipients of that love.  The Trappist monk Thomas Merton beautifully and eloquently explained that "love can only be kept by being given away."  He wrote that if we truly love others, then their good becomes our good.  Then we truly wish the best for other people.  Then we are compassionate for other persons, because we are so identified with them that we seek our good solely in their well-being.  

When we truly love our neighbor, then when someone, when the poor man at our doorstep, asks that we have pity on him, we most certainly express compassion for such a person in how we care for him.  Truly loving our neighbor, we do not turn a blind eye to the suffering of our neighbor.  

However, after death, will we be asking that pity be had on us?  Will we be asking to be relieved of suffering?  

During our life, what have we received?  During others' lives, what have they received?   

Do we live in luxury without acting out of compassion for those who live without basic necessities such as housing, food, clothing and medical care?  Do we turn away from the agony others are enduring?  If so, we invite eternal torment upon ourselves, the anguish of others that we refuse to alleviate now, while we still can.  

During Mass today, the priest noted that Lenten observances of more intense prayer, fasting and almsgiving are ultimately about stirring us to be more compassionate.  Through undertaking such penitential practices, we are to be led to be more merciful and compassionate toward our neighbor.  During Lent, we are to be moved to act, to ease the suffering of our neighbor.  

Now is the time to be compassionate.  After we die, we will not be able to send someone to warn others, to urge them to love their neighbor as themselves.**  

In the parable, the rich man asked Abraham to send Lazarus back from the dead to warn his brothers that they might have compassion and love their neighbor.  Abraham responded that they have Moses and the prophets, and that they should listen to them.  

The rich man realized that his brothers would not listen to the law of love that Moses delivered to the people.  He also knew that they also would not listen to the message of repentance from sin that the prophets had delivered over centuries.  The rich man replied that if someone from the dead went to them, they would repent.  Abraham told the rich man that if people don't believe Moses and the prophets, neither will they believe if someone comes back from the dead.  

I think of the book "90 Minutes In Heaven" and the film based on that book.  In this book and in this film, we hear from a man who died and came back to life.  He explains how, when he was dead, he went to Heaven.  He is only one of the people who have described this journey.  Persons have gone to Heaven and back: people still do not believe.  

Even though we already were given enough in Moses and the prophets, and in Jesus, who is The Word made flesh, suffering and dying for us to save us from our sins, and rising from the dead, still God gives more to us.  Although God had already given us plenty of signs and messages to convince us to believe, God loves us tirelessly.  God will keep trying to convince us to turn to Him.  God is love,*** and so God will keep on loving us forever.  

God loves us infinitely more than we can understand, since God is love, God is infinite, and God loves us infinitely.  God is merciful toward us, and has infinite compassion toward us.  

Thus we are called to be merciful, just as God is merciful to us.****  We are called to be compassionate, just as God is compassionate toward us.  We are called to love our neighbor, just as God loves us.  

* Luke 16:19-31 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** 1 John 4:8; 1 John 4:16  
**** Luke 6:36