Ask And Receive

Just yesterday I read for the first time about how Our Blessed Mother Mary appeared to Saint Catherine Laboure.  Our Blessed Mother Mary told Saint Catherine Laboure that there are graces that are available but people don't receive them because they don't ask for them.  

It makes me think that people could mistakenly conclude that God has not called them to a particular vocation, because they do not have a specific grace they need to live out that vocation.  Yet perhaps God is calling them to that certain vocation, but they feel unable to embrace that vocation only because they have not asked for what they need to follow that vocation.  

God gives us what we ask for,* when we ask for what we need to do His will.  God waits for us to ask for the right thing.  God wants us to exercise our free will.  God loves us so much that he respects our freedom of choice.  Truly loving us, God will not force us.  We see evidence of how God does not coerce us in the gentleness and the tenderness and the humility of the heart of Jesus.**    

God is love.***  Love is patient.****  God patiently waits for us to decide whether we will choose to be who He made us to be.  If we embrace who God has always intended us to be, we become our true selves.  If we accept who God created us to be, we welcome the truth of who we are.  Let us ask God for what we need to do His will, and become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Matthew 7:7 
** Matthew 11:29 
*** 1 John 4:8,16 
**** 1 Corinthians 13:4 

Know Patient Love

How do we know God is love*?  God loves because God gives.  God gives us Himself.  

God sent His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not perish but may have eternal life.**  His only Son Jesus did not cling to equality with God; rather, Jesus loved us so much He emptied Himself, humbling Himself by becoming human,*** submitting in total obedience to the will of His Heavenly Father.  Jesus humbled Himself even further, living in poverty and eating with social outcasts to bring them The Word that would save them.  Jesus humbled Himself yet further in order to save us, giving Himself up to death, and even more strikingly, death on the Cross.****  

Even though God has given us so much, with ingratitude we do not turn to God.  Yet God is patient with us, since God is love, and love is patient.*****  

When we realize that God has given us so much and that we appreciate God's blessings so little, yet that God is still patient with us, we can come to see that God loves us.  God patiently waits for us.  Turn to God, and know love.  Amen.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 
** John 3:16 
*** Philippians 2:6-7 
**** Philippians 2:8 
***** 1 Corinthians 13:4 

See Him Everywhere

How can a person always remain patient with others?  See Jesus in every person you meet.  

It is not a question of looking out for Jesus, to be vigilant to recognize Him when He crosses paths with us.  It is a matter of realizing that Jesus is in our neighbor always.  Jesus assured us that He is with us always.*  Thus, we are called to see Jesus in our neighbor always, and to see Him in everyone we meet.  

If we see Jesus in each and every person we meet, we can be patient with everyone we meet.  When we meet our neighbor, we can see patience before us.  In our neighbor, we encounter Jesus.  Since Jesus is the Son of God, and God is love,** and Jesus is love, as He told Saint Faustina, and since love is patient,*** we can come to face patience when we meet our neighbor.  Coming to patience, we can choose to welcome that patience into our hearts.  

With that patience in us, with love, which is patient, in us, we can be patient with our neighbor.  If we remain in Jesus, and if Jesus remains in us,**** we can be patient with our neighbor.  

We open our hearts to what we become.  When we open our hearts to patience, we become patient.  When we open our hearts to love, we become love.  Let us open our hearts to Jesus, to patience and love, and become patient and loving.  Amen.  

* Matthew 28:20 
** 1 John 4:8,16 
*** 1 Corinthians 13:4 
**** John 15:4,6,7,9,10 

Learning From Others

When we become who God has always meant us to be, we help others to realize who God has always intended them to be.  When we love, we help others to love.  

In my quest to discover my true identity, I have been assisted by numerous friends.  This week and last week, I have been thinking especially of a dear friend of mine who passed away at the end of last month.  I've written before of this cherished friend, who I have called "Uncle."  In his reflective, meditative way, Uncle supplied helpful insight to me as I have struggled to find my real identity.  For years he served me as a valuable friend, accompanying me as I did work which I knew was not the best fit for me.  

For ten years I worked as an attorney, even though I really didn't want to be doing such work; I was forcing myself to work as an attorney so I could pay off my large debts.  I didn't have an idea of what I would do next until I had been a lawyer for more than a few years.  Even though I didn't know what I would do after I stopped being a lawyer, I was impatient to move on and stop lawyering.  

Usually I remained silent about wanting to switch to some other type of work.  However, looking back at those days as an attorney, it seems that even though so often I kept quiet about wanting to cease lawyering, now I feel I was receiving direction about where I was headed.  Now it seems as if Uncle and the rest of the family were implicitly preparing me and teaching me simply by welcoming me into their homes.  

At this point it seems as if, embedded in their actions of welcoming me into their homes, they were showing me that I was taking steps to get ready for what I would do next.  Yet if Uncle had explained their assistance through words, I envision that he would have taken one of his characteristic pauses in which he carefully pondered what he was about to say.  Then I can imagine him gently and wisely advising me, "In what you are doing right now, you are preparing for what you want to do later."  

Often we don't see right away how we are preparing for what will come later.  Friends help us see what we can't see.  

I visualize him having given me this insight while sitting with him at one of the many family celebrations with him and the rest of his family.  At Thanksgiving dinners and birthday celebrations, I was welcomed into their family.  Insofar as they're Filipino, I was repeatedly experiencing the context of a different cultural background when we celebrated together on these occasions.  

As I was welcomed time and again into their homes, they didn't realize that they were preparing me to go into the Peace Corps.  Just as Uncle and the rest of their family welcomed me into their homes and another cultural background, similarly once I arrived with the Peace Corps in Morocco, I was being welcomed into host families in another culture.  

Long after I left Morocco, I realized that Uncle's warmth and generosity and welcoming nature had been echoed in the hospitality I received in Morocco.  Yet before I had even left Morocco, I had resolved to extend hospitality to others once I left Morocco.  And so I was influenced in my decision to enter a reformed Benedictine monastery, since Benedictine monks offer hospitality to visitors.  I lived and worked at the Camaldolese hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California partly since I strove to be hospitable just as Uncle and the rest of his family, as well as Moroccans, were hospitable to me.  

Similarly, I have felt drawn to live and work at Catholic Worker Houses partly since I have wanted to offer hospitality to those in need of it.  Thus I find myself here at this Catholic Worker House in part due to Uncle's warm and giving and hospitable nature.  

Thus I return to what I wrote in a recent blog post: in being ourselves, we help others to find themselves.  As we give, we help others to give.  

Uncle and his daughters and the rest of their family, in extending hospitality to me, led me to realize I wanted to extend hospitality to others.  In being themselves, they helped me to be me.   When we embrace who God calls us to be, we help others realize who God calls them to be.  

When we love, we help others to love.  When we love others, we show who we are. 

When we love others, we welcome others into our hearts.  When we love others, we welcome God into our hearts.  

When we extend hospitality to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do.  We would like to receive hospitality from others, so when we offer hospitality to others, we treat others as we would like to be treated.  

We become what we do.  When we love, we become love.  Let us love, help others to love, and become love.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Love Patiently Endures

If you love someone, you are patient with them.  Love is patient.*  

When you love someone, you open your heart to Jesus, who is in your neighbor.  When you accept love from your neighbor, you embrace Jesus.  

As you love someone, you become able to bear all things with that person.  Love brings endurance.**  We endure with those we love.  

In the end, we end up with love.  In the end, love remains.    

* 1 Corinthians 13:4 
** 1 Corinthians 13:7 

Fruits Of Love

If we have faith in God, we will see the goodness of God.  As we trust in God, we come to see that God works wonders, sometimes in others, and at times in us.  

God seeks to change the world by inviting us to trust in Him.  Through the trust we have in God, we can become the change we want to see in the world.  If we are confidently sure that God will transform us and our neighbor, we have already changed the world by allowing ourselves to be altered by welcoming the gift of faith that God has given us.  

If we have faith and if we love our neighbor, we can come to see that God works wonders in such situations.  If we love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do, we will be patient with our neighbor.**  Feeling loved, our neighbor will come to love herself.  Our neighbor will then come to make good decisions which affirm his own worth.  

This week I have seen the fruits of such love.  Here at the Catholic Worker House we heard about a particular man who had recently been homeless and then left town.  We heard from his friends who have loved him, about how, since he left town, he has taken steps which show he loves himself.  

Here once again I'll call this recently homeless man "Davey."  While he lived here in Redwood City, Davey was homeless, sleeping in the bushes and in tents and wherever he could find a place to sleep.  Since he left town, he has gotten a job.  We also heard that he has been clean since he left town.  He has stopped using the substances which had been troubling for him.  

Davey's friends have kept showing him love.  In time he has come to love himself, which shows in how he has been making choices reflecting how he loves and respects himself.  

I heard that Davey will be back in town in about a week.  I am looking forward to seeing him and the fruits of the love which his friends have shown to him.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
** 1 Corinthians 13:4 

Emptying Ourselves Completely

Today is the feast day of Saint Romuald.  Today in the Catholic Church we commemorate the life of this saint who lived in the tenth and the eleventh centuries and who reformed Benedictine monasteries.  In time, his reforms were seen to have formed a new religious congregation of monks who came to be known as Camaldolese, named after their head monastery called Camaldoli, which is in Italy.  

After spending a year and a half living at New Camaldoli Hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California, I grew quite fond of the monks there, as well as the folks who work there too.  While I lived there, I came to realize better how and why we can be nourished deeply in the recesses of our souls by the spiritual disciplines of solitude, silence, prayer and meditation.  There in a dwelling space called a monastic cell, a monk lives as a solitary, assisted by these monastic spiritual practices as he strives to respond to God's call.  These spiritual disciplines position us so that, in opening our hearts to God, we consent to God loving our neighbor through us.  

I was significantly guided in my pursuit of these spiritual practices by the Rule of Saint Romuald.  He wrote it as a brief directive for men who came to monasteries to commune with God.  In his little rule, Saint Romuald counsels 

Sit in your cell as in Paradise.  Put the whole world behind you and forget it.  Watch your thoughts like a good fisherman watching for fish.  The path you must follow is in the Psalms--never leave it.  

If you have just come to the monastery, and in spite of your good will you cannot accomplish what you want, take every opportunity you can to sing the Psalms in your heart and to understand them with your mind.  

And if your mind wanders as you read, do not give up; hurry back and apply your mind to the words once more.  

Realize above all that you are in God's presence, and stand there with the attitude of one who stands before the emperor.  

Empty yourself completely and sit waiting, content with the grace of God, like the chick who tastes nothing and eats nothing but what his mother brings him.  

The Rule of Saint Romuald resonates with how I have sought to orient my life over the last half dozen years.  I do my best to take time to retreat and forget about the world for a time so as to be recollected in my soul.  I have also aimed to forget the false notions the world gives me.  I have been aspiring to forget the false self that the world has tried to convince me I am, as the Trappist monk Thomas Merton describes.  We can choose to reject the empty promises the world makes, vainly suggesting that we always need to be buying and possessing certain items in order to remain relevant in today's ever-changing material world.  Rather than consume our energies on fruitless pursuits, we can direct our focus elsewhere.  In still silent solitude, we are better positioned to listen to God so we can ever more discover our true selves.  

This rule directs us to take every opportunity we can to sing the Psalms in our hearts.  Insofar as we are to pray always,* again the Rule confirms my inclinations.  So often I find myself mindlessly wasting precious time on trivial concerns which ultimately do not matter.  Rather than burn up our energy on matters which are truly unimportant, instead we can strive to orient our hearts toward God in every instant.  

In his rule, Saint Romuald advises us not to feel discouraged when our minds wander from words of wisdom, which they certainly will.  Rather, we are once again to apply ourselves to The Word in front of us.  So often I find my mind straying off course.  Thus I so appreciate Saint Romuald's gentle encouragement, as a reminder to remain on course.  We should not feel downtrodden when we fall, since most certainly we shall fall; we must remain resolute and we must once again rise once we have fallen.  

Saint Romuald reminds us that we are in God's presence.  Jesus is with us always.**  We are to stand before God like a person standing before an emperor.  Seeing ourselves for what we truly are, nothing without the help of God, we are humbled.  Having been humbled, we are well-situated for God to work through the Holy Spirit in us.  

Realizing that we are nothing without the aid of God, we can empty ourselves.  Knowing that we can do nothing without God, we can wait for God to transform us.  Upon being humbled, we can receive the grace and strength from God we need, for God gives grace to the humble.***  

Seeing our true place, and humbled by the reality that we can do nothing without God, we can then open our hearts to God.  If we are silent and wait patiently upon God, we can be nourished by the presence of Jesus.  Our Lord Jesus empowers us to do the will of our Heavenly Father.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.****

By the grace of God, we can come to do what by human standards seems impossible.  For humans, to love like God loves is impossible.  For God, nothing is impossible.*****  

Through the grace of God, we become able to give to everyone who asks,****** as Jesus instructs us to do in today's Gospel reading.  Having sought the tender, warm, loving touch of Jesus in silence, stillness and solitude, we become empowered through the gentle strength of His presence to convey His love to others.  By opening our hearts to God, we welcome God into our hearts, so that Jesus abides in us,******* and loves others through us.  Opening our hearts to God, we allow God to love others through us.********  We can thus let the love of God be shown through us.  Let us let God love others through us.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:17 
** Matthew 28:20 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Philippians 4:13 
***** Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37 
****** Matthew 5:42 
******* John 15:9 
******** Romans 5:5 

Returning Transformed Neighbor

If we keep on loving our neighbor, the little seed of love in the heart of our neighbor can bear much fruit.  With patience, kindness and understanding, we can come to witness the transformative power of the love of God.  As Jesus comes to us and abides in us,* the love of God can come to transform our neighbor before our very eyes.  Thus in time, our faith can be strengthened, and we can come to trust in God ever more deeply.  As we trust in God and open our hearts to Him, we consent to Him loving our neighbor through us.  

I have been reminded today of these truths.  Today a particular young man who has been homeless showed up here at the Catholic Worker House.  He asked me to tell my fellow Catholic Worker Susan that he is grateful for all of the help she has given to him over the last several months.  

I've previously mentioned this particular fellow.  Once again I'll call him "Brendon."  

In a prior post I'd written of how Brendon admitted that he needed to stop taking drugs.  In another blog entry, I'd related how Brendon had been trying to enter a drug treatment program.  Today he told me that he has been in a drug rehab program.  I saw the obvious results of how he has been taking care of himself and loving himself: he seemed full of life, vibrant, eager, attentive, considerate, respectful and grateful.  He seemed focused on those around him who were listening to him and offering to help him.  

Brendon explained that in about a week, he will be moving back east.  He quickly added that to reach his destination, he needed a bus ticket which would cost between one hundred and two hundred dollars.  As he was talking about the cost of the bus ticket, someone on the front porch of the Catholic Worker House heard him and offered to help to defray the cost of his trip.  The impoverished young man had appealed for help, and he got it.  

Jesus tells us that whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.**  Jesus is in the homeless people and the other poor men and women who plead with us for help.  Who am I, that my Lord and my God comes to my doorstep?***  Jesus comes to us in those who are impoverished, who come to our door, then go away, not to be seen for weeks, and then come back.  Jesus goes away, and a short while later, He returns to us.****  Jesus shows me that He is with us always.*****  Jesus shows me that He calls us to take care of each other, especially the poor, for Jesus is in our neighbor, and especially in the impoverished.  

In coming to me in the poor young man who knocks at my door, Jesus nurtures my faith, for He keeps His promise and He comes to me.  Jesus comes to make sure I am practicing the law of love.  Jesus comes up to me to make sure I am loving Him in my neighbor.  

Seeing Jesus come to us, then we can pray confidently to Him.  We can be sure of the hope we have in His promise, for we have seen that He has not left us alone; He has come to us.******  Knowing that we have not been abandoned, seeing the proof of His transformative power that has been demonstrated in our neighbor being healed, we come to trust in God.   

When we truly have faith in God, then we come to see that God is always calling us back home to Him.  If we utterly trust in God, we realize that God is always welcoming us back home to Him with open arms.  Grasping that God is always offering us His warm loving embrace in all that happens to us, we welcome Him into our hearts.  Empowered with the love of God, God transforms us, and we are healed, and we become who God has always intended us to be.  Loving ourselves, loving our neighbor, and loving God, we become the love of God in the world.  Amen.  

* John 15:7, 9 
** Matthew 25:40 
*** Luke 1:43 
**** John 16:16-17, 19 
***** Matthew 28:20 
****** John 14:18 

Seventy-Seven Times

Our hearts are small; we think of love in limited ways.  God's love is infinite.  Since God is so merciful, God forgives us for our grievous offenses against Him, for what we owe to Him but could never pay to Him.  Yet we hold onto much smaller offenses and hold them against our neighbor.  We must forgive our neighbor if we want God to forgive us.  

And so we hear in today's Gospel reading that 

Peter approached Jesus and asked him,
"Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive him?
As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times 
but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of Heaven may be likened to a king
who decided to settle accounts with his servants.
When he began the accounting,
a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.
Since he had no way of paying it back,
his master ordered him to be sold,
along with his wife, his children, and all his property,
in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.'
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan.
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a much smaller amount.
He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,
'Pay back what you owe.'
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,
'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused.
Instead, he had him put in prison
until he paid back the debt.
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,
they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master
and reported the whole affair.
His master summoned him and said to him, 
'You wicked servant!
I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,
as I had pity on you?'
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will My Heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart."*  

As humans we have limited conceptions of love.  We think we are to forgive our neighbor merely seven times.   

God is infinite, so God loves us infinitely.  When Jesus answers Peter's question, Jesus uses a figure of speech.  Jesus tells Peter that he is to forgive his neighbor not just seven times, but seventy-seven times.  

How do we know that Jesus is using a figure of speech when he tells Saint Peter that he is to forgive his neighbor not just seven times, but seventy-seven times?  Why is it significant that Jesus uses a figure of speech to answer Saint Peter's question?  Jesus follows up on his answer to Saint Peter with a parable.  In the parable, a debtor owed a huge amount to his master.  There was no way he could ever repay it all.  The debtor did not owe ten times a usual amount.  The debtor owed a gigantic sum: the debtor never would be able to repay the debt owed to his master.  

There is no way to completely repay God.  God created us; therefore, we can never pay him back.  There is nothing we can possibly do to completely satisfy this debt: God did something for us far beyond what we could ever do for Him.  

In creating us, God showed us tremendous love, love which we can never repay.  In creating us, God began to show us why all glory, praise and honor is due to Him.  

God created us, yet we sin.  God has immense love for us, yet we show grossly insufficient gratitude to Him.  

As Saint Catherine of Siena related that God had told her, God is infinite goodness.  She added that God explained to her that to sin against God commits an offense which demands infinite satisfaction.  

If God would not forgive us, we would be doomed.  God, in His great mercy, forgives us.  

Accordingly, we are to beg God for mercy.  God will forgive us if we earnestly implore Him to be merciful to us.  

Yet our neighbors commit far lesser offenses against us, and we insist on enslaving our neighbors for what they have done.  Consequently we enslave ourselves.  If we refuse to forgive our neighbor, God will not forgive us.  

Jean Vanier wrote that people escape from the prisons of past hurts as they learn to forgive.  As we learn to forgive, and to let go of the past injuries we have suffered, we are liberated from the pain which has been holding us hostage.  As we relent and forgive our neighbor, we free our neighbor from the anguish and regret they may feel, and from the hurt we inflict on them by failing to forgive them.  

Otherwise, if we refuse to forgive our neighbor, we can end up in prison for a long time with our neighbor.  Consequently the road to forgiveness can be long, with many turns.  Almost certainly we will have to keep forgiving our neighbor, just as we too would like to be repeatedly forgiven.  

I think of two particular homeless people I know.  A little over a month ago, on Valentine's Day, I wrote of how Jocelyn had stuck by her boyfriend Jonny despite his drug use.  Later in the day on Valentine's Day, after I had posted that blog entry, Jonny told me that he had broken up with Jocelyn.  He explained that she was always keeping him up at midnight.  He told me, "I can't live like this; I need to get up in the morning so I can go to work."  Despite their breaking up, a few weeks later I heard that he had been thanking those who bring food, beverages and clothing to Jocelyn when he's not around.  Yesterday I saw Jocelyn and Jonny together just outside their tent where they sleep in the bushes.  Jocelyn and Jonny forgive each other.   

I think of another specific homeless person I know, who again here I'll call "Brendon."  A couple of weeks ago, I had heard that after he had been abusing hard drugs, Brendon entered a drug treatment program.  I saw him about a week ago.  He told me he had gotten high the previous day.  We can judge Brendon and others who are also homeless, who are also addicted to illicit substances.  Or we can listen to them.  We can love them.  

In the last couple of weeks, Brendon also told me, "I've always lived in institutions and in foster homes.  I don't know how to function in society."  If we're busy judging Brendon and others on the fringes of society, our hearts are not open to them.  If we're judging Brendon and others who are marginalized, we're not forgiving them.  If we forgive our neighbor, we can listen to our neighbor.  When we listen to our neighbor, we can understand our neighbor.  When we understand our neighbor, we come to love our neighbor.  As we come to know our neighbor, we come to love our neighbor as ourselves.**    

When we forgive our neighbor, we love our neighbor.  When we choose forgiveness, we let God love our neighbor through us.  When we forgive, we turn to God.  When we forgive, we become love.  

* Matthew 18:21-35 

** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Joyfully Embracing Suffering

Recently I received an excellent example.  Once again someone right in front of me showed me how I am called to live.  

Yet again I have seen how living is found through dying.  I am reminded once more that all of us must decide how we view the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  In how we choose to respond, we determine the path we take.  In how we reply to Jesus giving Himself up for us, we set ourselves up for despair, or ultimately for rejoicing.  

I was reminded of these critical choices as I was speaking with a particular person about what material assistance she required, and how she could get it.  As we spoke with each other, suddenly tears welled up in her eyes.  Her voice cracked.  She said that she had watched the film "The Passion of the Christ" a half dozen times.  She said that every time she watches that film, she can't believe how we have treated Jesus.  

This woman, with whom I have interacted countless times, is showing me how I am to be grieved at the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus.  She demonstrates to me how my spirit is to ache at how Jesus died to save us.  

She recognizes the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  In that giving of Himself for us, she sees the great love Jesus has for us.  Since He has so loved us, she is greatly distressed when she considers how we have sorely mistreated Him.  

Who is this woman who is so disturbed at how we have so abused Jesus?  One might expect her always to have exhibited exemplary behavior.  Yet at one point, she was convicted of committing a felony.  Is that all she is?  We are defined by the choices we make, by the decisions we made which we now disavow, by who we embrace, by who we love.  Warm and loving people are in our lives, here to help us love.  Will we listen to them?  There are people in our lives who have opened their hearts to Jesus.  Will we close our hearts to them and to what they have to teach us?  

If we're busy judging someone, we can't learn from that person.  The individual we're convinced is worthless might be one who is worthy of our attention.  The person we think is failing in life in fact might be one for us to emulate.  

Due to our stubborn refusal to learn from those who have been sent to minister to us, we end up in spiritual shadows.  We insist upon standing in shadows rather than stepping forward into the light being shown towards us.  We turn aside from those who can teach us how to embrace the Cross and how to die to ourselves so we can live for our neighbor.  

There have been times I have been in spiritual turmoil, and after emerging from such spiritual darkness, I have realized that I had been in the midst of such spiritual turbulence because I had failed to reverence the Cross.  We would not struggle as we do if we were to meditate fruitfully upon the Passion of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  

I am not saying that we will not undergo trials if we properly value the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  I am saying that with appropriate reverence for His Passion, we would feel our apparent misfortune to be not so much of an ordeal but rather a gift.  Knowing that through His death and resurrection, Jesus set us free from the bonds of sin, and that through adversity we are purified and sanctified and drawn back home to God, we come to value hardship, even to welcome it joyfully, and thus come to view it illuminated in a completely new and transformative light.  

When the medieval mystic Julian of Norwich felt that she was being assaulted by demons, she fixed her eyes on the Cross.  After God had delivered her from the temptations she had been enduring, Jesus reminded her that the Devil is overcome through the Cross.  

We are lifted out of discomfort through our embracing of pain.  We are delivered from torment through the suffering of Jesus.  We are saved by embracing Jesus.  We are saved when we give up our lives for others.  We are saved when we love others as Jesus has loved us.*    

And so Jesus instructed Julian of Norwich to take comfort in the Cross.  He told her to trust in the Cross.  He assured her that she would not be overcome.  

And so we are all faced with this fundamental choice.  Do we capitulate to fear, or do we trust in God?  Out of pride, do we hide ourselves from God, not wanting to approach God, refusing to acknowledge that we are defenseless without Him?**  Do we turn to Jesus and embrace Him?  Do we turn toward the sacrifice we are called to make for our neighbor?  

While Jesus died for us, in addition to this generous gift of the sacrifice of His Son, God also gave us our free will.  Herein lies our part: we must choose.  Saint Augustine explained that "The God who made you without your cooperation will not save you without your cooperation."  For God to save us, we must turn to God.   

If we turn away from God, we act from a place of pride.  Pride leads to ruin.  If we turn to God, we value humility.  Humility leads to salvation.  

The person who is humble will find no cause for griping.  For when we truly and accurately grasp reality, we see that we have no cause for complaint.  

When we realize we are nothing, we see we can do nothing without God.  If we embrace our true identity, we recognize that we are to completely rely on God and welcome everything that He allows to come to us.  

Jesus embraced his true identity.  He saw that He was not only the Messiah, but also was the suffering servant foretold by the prophet Isaiah.***    

When we consider that Jesus did not have to suffer and die for us, but that He did so because He sought to do the will of His Heavenly Father, our perspective on pain shifts.  Jesus died for us because He loves us, for God is love.****  When we remember how much God loves us, how much God has given us, then we are led to embrace the obstacles we encounter.  Then, as Julian of Norwich reminds us, we see that "we should meekly and patiently bear and suffer the penance that God gives us, with mind of His blessed Passion.  For when we have mind of His blessed Passion, with pity and love, then we suffer with Him like as did His friends that saw it."  

If we meditate deeply on how Jesus was persecuted and on how He died for us, we hurt with Him.  Then we feel anguish out of love for Jesus, because we have crucified Him.  

There is a tendency also, when we are in agony, to assume that we have brought misfortune upon ourselves through our own imprudent choices.  Don't think that every hardship that falls upon you is your fault.  Jesus told Julian of Norwich, "Accuse not yourself that your tribulation and your woe is all your fault."  
Nor should we think, even when we have tried our utmost to lead outstanding lives, that God is unjustly punishing us when disaster befalls us.  Jesus also directed Julian of Norwich not to expect a lack of trials, saying to her, "For I tell you: whatever you do, you will have woe."  Even if we live in an upright manner, nevertheless inevitably we are going to have troubles.  We should anticipate that we will endure hardships.  

Despite the torments in this life now, in light of what awaits us on the other side of death, Julian of Norwich realized about this unavoidable agony we feel now in this life, that "this place is a prison: this life is a penance.  And in the remedy for it, He wills that we rejoice.  The remedy is that our Lord is with us, keeping us, and leading us to fullness of joy.  For this is endless joy to us, in our Lord's meaning, that He that will be our bliss when we come there--He is our keeper while we are here, our way and our Heaven in true love and faithful trust."  

Thus we are led to view our difficulties in perspective.  To appreciate suffering, we must be humble as Jesus was and is.  To realize the full value of our own pain, we must be grateful for how Jesus was agonized for us.  To be delivered from our distress, to be brought out of death into life, we are called to trust as Jesus trusted His Heavenly Father.  

In this life we can be sure that at times we are going to be in misery.  We can find meaning in our pain if we are open to what God is trying to show us.  We can learn if we open our hearts to how God wants to teach us through our neighbor.  

While we may feel that the torments of this life are nothing but torture, in such challenges we may be tasting the cure for all our woes.  Although we may find it difficult to do so, if we accept trying circumstances as opportunities for growth, we will become more than we have been.  Jesus showed us, through how He lived His earthly life, how we are to face pain.  We are to embrace suffering, through which we love our neighbor.  By dying to ourselves, so that we may live to our neighbor, we are saved.  When we welcome discomfort out of love of neighbor, we welcome our salvation.  

When we see that suffering out of love leads to salvation, we rejoice in the midst of hardships.  We triumph in the victory of the Cross because in His death and His resurrection, Jesus conquered death.  Death holds no power over those who have realized and embraced the saving power of the Cross.  Then, in dying, we are born to eternal life, as Jesus taught us when He walked on this earth, and as He continues to teach us.  

Jesus is always with us.*****  Jesus is sending His Holy Spirit upon us, reminding us of all He has told us.******  Jesus is guiding us into all truth,******* The Truth of who He is, and the truth of who we are.  When we finally realize the truth, we are set free,******** and so we rejoice.   

As Julian of Norwich explained that Jesus wills for us, if we shift our hearts from the pain we feel to the bliss that we trust to have, we will start to feel a slight foretaste of the joy waiting for us for eternity in Heaven.  If we have the humility to trust that God is drawing us back home to Him through our current afflictions, we are given the grace and strength we need to endure these present difficulties.*********    

When we have genuine faith in God, we welcome all that happens, whether it be pain or comfort.  If we truly trust in God, we open our hearts to all that God is trying to teach us.  When we embrace all that happens, we will be joyful.  If we trust God, we know that God loves us.  Knowing the truth that God loves us infinitely, we rejoice.  If we see the truth now, in an abundance of joy, we begin to live in eternal life while still on earth.  

* John 13:34 
** Genesis 3:8 
*** Isaiah 42, 49, 50, 52, 53, 61 
**** 1 John 4:8; 1 John 4:16  
***** Matthew 28:20 
****** John 14:26 
******* John 16:13 
******** John 8:32 
********* 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6  

Forgiveness Welcomes Love

Who do we fear?  When we fear, we close our hearts.  

Who do we forgive?  When we forgive, we love.  When we love, we open our hearts.  

When we will not forgive, we cling to the past.  Through refusing to forgive, we will not let go of the hurt we feel.  

When we forgive, we leave the past behind us.  When we forgive, we let go of the pain which has been enslaving us, binding us to the past.  

When stubbornly we will not forgive, we insist on remaining wounded.  Similarly, when we choose to live in fear, we stay paralyzed and cannot move forward.  

When we forgive, we heal.  When we forgive, we open our hearts to a new future with our neighbor.   

When we will not forgive, and when we fear, we refuse to give.  In failing to forgive, and in fearing, we close ourselves off from our neighbor, and thus refuse to love our neighbor.  

When we forgive, we give.  In forgiving, we give the gift of love to our neighbor.  When we forgive our neighbor, we give the gift of reconciliation, and the hope of a new future together, to our neighbor.  

When we fear, and when we will not forgive, we refuse to receive.  By fearing, we wall ourselves off from what our neighbor has to give us.  

When we forgive, we receive.  Through forgiving, we receive the gift of the hope of a restored relationship with our neighbor.  Even if our neighbor refuses to be reconciled with us, still we have received the gift of our own freedom, insofar as we have been liberated from the chains of selfishness which had been restraining us from loving our neighbor.  

To whom do we give?  From whom do we receive?

This week here at the Catholic Worker House we received a call from a generous, thoughtful person.  She called us to tell us we could come to her place of employment and pick up free items.  A couple Catholic Workers went to where she works, and there she gave them free furniture.   

To paint a little more of a picture of this magnanimous person, in her home, this individual has a collection of crosses hanging on a wall.  At some point in the past, this person was convicted of committing a felony.  

If we get stuck on a label someone has been given, on how someone has been categorized by society, we can end up hostage to our fears.  Or we can approach someone with open minds and open hearts.  If we are open to what someone has to give us, then we can be open to receive from that person.  If we forgive someone, we love that person, and we allow that person to love us in return.  

If we open our hearts to others, we welcome them.  If our hearts are open to others, we accept the hospitality they extend to us.  

Who do we welcome?  From whom do we accept hospitality?  

We are told, "Remember always to welcome strangers, for by doing this, some people have entertained angels without knowing it.*  By extending hospitality to strangers, Abraham received the news from his guests, who were actually angels, that his wife Sarah would bear a son.**  By offering hospitality to strangers, Lot was delivered from death when Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed.***  

If we are busy fearing the stranger, we cannot listen to what they have to say to us.  If we are closing our hearts to someone, we cannot at the same time open our hearts to receive what they have to give us.  By fearing our neighbors, we deprive them of the gift of loving us.  When we fear, we do not let others love us.  
One of the Catholic Workers who went to pick up the free furniture was helped by another person who has repeatedly extended hospitality to others in her home.  On countless occasions, she has given them food and drink.  She has invited people to stay at her home, offering them shelter when they had no place else to stay.  She has showed abundant generosity in the unrestrained love she has for her neighbor.  Yet years ago she too was convicted of committing a felony.  

If we get hung up on how someone has been stigmatized by our society, we can become blinded to seeing the goodness in that person.  If we open our hearts to someone, regardless of what he or she may have done in the past, we can welcome what he or she has to give us.  If we welcome someone, then we can receive the help we need from the person who is present to assist us in our time of need.  

We are called to see the love being offered to us.  We are called to love each other as Jesus has loved us.****  We are called to welcome each other into our hearts, regardless of the unfortunate decisions we may have made in the past.  Others might not understand how we forgive, and might question our judgement.  

When the Pharisees saw Jesus and his disciples eating with tax collectors and sinners, the Pharisees asked Jesus' disciples why Jesus was eating with tax collectors and sinners.  Jesus replied that those who were well had no need of a physician, but only those who were sick.*****  Jesus welcomed those who would listen.  Jesus welcomed those whose hearts were open to Him.  

And so Jesus told a parable to those whose hearts were not open enough.  He said 

"What is your opinion?  A man had two sons.  He came to the first and said, 'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'  

He replied, 'I will not,' but afterwards he changed his mind and went.  

The man came to the other son and gave the same order.  He said in reply, 'Yes, sir,' but did not go.  

Which of the two did his father's will?"  

They answered, "The first."  

Jesus said to them, "Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom of God before you."******  
There are people among us who have been committed crimes, but who have repented, and who now love their neighbor.  We who are not convicted criminals may think well of ourselves.  Yet if we merely say that we will do what God asks, but do not actually do it, we are not doing the will of God.  Despite appearances to the contrary, we might very well be entering the Kingdom of God after those who have been convicted of crimes.  We might be entering the Kingdom of God after those who our society calls outcasts, rejects and failures.  

We have our own ideas about who is bad and who is good.  We decide why people are bad and why they are good.  Yet we are all sinners.  We are all in need of God's mercy.  

Therefore Jesus instructed us, "Be merciful, just as your Heavenly Father is merciful."*******  We are to forgive our neighbor, just as God forgives us.  We must forgive our neighbor if we want to be forgiven.  

Since we must always forgive our neighbor, we must always forgive as God always forgives us.  Thus God calls us to strive to be like Him.  And so Jesus has directed us, "Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect."********  

God calls us to love our neighbor.  If we love, we forgive.  If we forgive our neighbor, we give love to our neighbor.  If we forgive, we receive the love we give.  When we forgive, we free ourselves and our neighbor from the shackles of selfishness.  When we forgive our neighbor, we are freed to choose the bonds of love which Jesus offers to establish with us.  

Jesus, always with us,********* patiently waits for us to turn inward and welcome Him into our hearts.  Jesus asks us to let Him love others through us.  Jesus wants us to become like Him.  He came to help us become like Him.  Saint Athanasius said, "the Son of God became man so that we might become God."  God asks whether we will consent to become more and more and more like Him.  

* Hebrews 13:2 
** Genesis 18:2-15 
*** Genesis 19:1-3 
**** John 13:34 
***** Matthew 9:10-11; Mark 2:16-17; Luke 5:30-31  
****** Matthew 21:28-31 
******* Luke 6:36 
******** Matthew 5:48 
********* Matthew 28:20