Presently Loving Others

It turns out I'm going to stay here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  A few months ago the other Catholic Workers here told me they'd been more pleased with my work than when we'd previously spoken months earlier about my work and about whether or not I'd stay here.  Consequently, they said I could keep living and working here long-term.  

Larry, who founded the Redwood City Catholic Worker House dozens of years ago, wondered if I'd been throwing myself more into the work simply because I'd become more comfortable and because I had relaxed.  In our work, we pick up donations, including of food and clothing and toiletries, and people come here to the Catholic Worker House and get what they need.  Apparently I have been immersing myself more in this work, although I haven't been aware of any change in myself.  

Susan noted how I've been connecting with homeless folks and other persons who are especially in need here in Redwood City.  She talked about how homeless folks come to our front porch to get items that are donated and left there, and how they know me.  

Both Larry and Susan were receptive to my continuing to live and work here at the Catholic Worker House.  They expressed how they felt it could be beneficial if I were to stay.  

I've felt and heard the gratitude my homeless friends and my other impoverished friends have shown to us Catholic Workers here.  I enjoy when they give thanks, and I feel their thankfulness is a reward, but their gratitude is not the reason I do this work.  We are to serve our neighbor because we are to love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus has instructed us to do.  

In the love I feel for them, and in their appreciation of our presence and our ministry, I find indications that love is blooming in their hearts.  Love can bloom in our hearts if we welcome every little chance we get to plant little seeds of love in our lives.  Saint Therese of Lisieux was named The Little Flower, for she had this little way of doing little loving acts for others.  In the little acts of love we can strive to perform for others, and in joyous gestures of thanks people give us in return, we can see the fruits of love flowering out of the little seeds of love that have been planted in each others' hearts.  

And so I cannot help but suspect that I am where God wishes me to be.  God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  Thus the Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade counsels us to open our hearts to what we are being called to do in the present.  Indeed, when you embrace the duty of the present moment, and love your neighbor who is right in front of you, you please God.  

Sometimes in various ways we can find surprising this duty that has been placed in front of us.  We can become blinded to what God is asking us to do if we become too attached to our own notions of ourselves.  If we are not detached from our own conceptions of ourselves, we are not opening ourselves up to God to allow ourselves to conceive what God wants to bring to birth through us.  

We can come to overvalue realizations we've had about ourselves in the midst of discernment, such that we can unwittingly let such knowledge about ourselves come to dominate us and unduly influence our decisions.  We do well to temper our self-knowledge against the backdrop of our current circumstances, in the context of where we currently find ourselves.  Right now, who are we being asked to love?  As we love our neighbor, we witness the fruits of that love in the joy we feel.  Love and joy are two signs that we are accurately discerning our vocation, which is what God is calling each of us to do.  

We do well to try to cultivate gardens of love in our hearts.  We can evaluate the health of what is growing in our hearts by means of the joy we feel.  

Thus we can check our relying too much on our self-knowledge, and we can prevent ourselves from letting it drive our actions too strongly, by looking at the love and joy in our hearts.  The love and joy in our hearts is threatened by the selfishness that our egos tend to inflict upon ourselves and on others.  We should not discard our self-knowledge, but also we should not let it control our discernment so much that we use it as an excuse to ignore what God is calling us to do right now.  

As I'd mentioned in a previous blog post, I'd come to find that I do better where there is more structure, and when I am specifically directed what to do.  Yet I've also found that we do well when we don't cling rigidly to our expectations of what we think our ministry is supposed to look like.  Yes, I do well with structure and direction; yet even though I know I have these tendencies, I don't have to be closely directed in a highly structured environment.  Yet I should be conscious of these tendencies, and let these insights influence how I structure my day.  If I am obedient to the duty of the present moment, then I can find the direction I crave by lovingly serving my neighbor when she asks me to do so.  

So, in time, I have been coming to discover that I find the direction I seek coming directly from my neighbor.  The Holy Spirit speaks to us through others.  When we love and serve our neighbor, we submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  As we embrace the duty to give lovingly what our neighbor needs right now, we obey the will of God.  

And so, submitting to the demands of the present, and obediently acquiescing to what God is asking me to do now, I find the direction I seek.  As I open my heart to give the love that my neighbor requests of me, my day becomes structured by what I find the Holy Spirit asking me, through my neighbor, to do for my neighbor.  

And so I am here.  I do not know how long I will be here.  Indefinitely I will be here.  There is no clear indication that the Holy Spirit is guiding me elsewhere.  In contrast, I feel community and connection and warmth and love with these homeless and other needy people here.  I am grateful to God that I can be with them here.  And so I embrace these lovely opportunities with these people in need right now, who are right in front of me.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Proclaiming Our Dependence

Today is a day when people especially think of, give thanks for, and celebrate their independence.  Here in the United States on this particular day, we celebrate the independence of our nation.  We commemorate how we declared our independence from the British.  

It is often said, and quite rightly, that we must remain vigilant to preserve our democracy and the freedom that comes with it.  Some people especially crave power, and oppress others in order to keep it.  When people abuse power by using it to mistreat others, we witness a misuse of freedom.  

When we make choices which cause us to become enslaved to anything, we misuse our freedom.  Unfortunately we can decide to use our freedom to become slaves to many things.  We become slaves to possessions, to money, to power and to prestige.  We can even become slaves to food and drink if we do not remain in right relation to it.  If we become gluttons with food and drink, we have become slaves to our own desires for excessive amounts of food and drink.  When we allow our desires to rule us, we have lost our freedom.  

If we become addicts, we have become enslaved to our desires.  If we have become addicted to drugs or gambling or sex or anything else, we are no longer free.  As addicts, our desires rule us.  

I am not only speaking about others.  I am speaking about myself and about others.  I am addicted to sugar.  I do not lightly say that I am an addict.  If I go too long without sugar, my perceptions become severely skewed.  My outlook on life becomes dismal.  

Such is the state of an addict.  For one who is addicted, being deprived is being tortured.  

Some would respond to such circumstances by demanding how God could let people devolve into such a state.  They ask how and why God could let this happen to people.  

God does not wish anyone to stray from him.  Yet God gives us our free will.  Sometimes people make decisions which harm themselves.  Yet even in the midst of such debilitating situations in which there seems to be no hope, we can use our freedom for our own good.  When we feel trapped, we can use our freedom to declare our independence from what enslaves us, by confidently proclaiming that we will steadfastly rely on God.  If we utilize our freedom to proclaim our dependence on God, God will free us from being held in chains.  

Thus in such situations of suffering, there is a profound opportunity, if we choose to open our hearts to it.  When we are faced with challenges which we cannot overcome on our own, we are to pray to God to deliver us from evil.*  If we tell God, with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, that on our own we cannot surmount the obstacles we encounter, then God will come to our aid.  When we let go of our egos, then we make the room for God to work in our souls, then we welcome God into our hearts.  Once we admit that we must have God's help, then we can begin to love Him with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.** 

When we pray in such a way, we pray with true humility.  If you truly pray, you have humility.  To the humble, God gives grace.***  With the help of God's grace, we can conquer what for us alone would be impossible.  As Jesus reminded us, everything is possible for God.****    

And so, with all credit for our success going to God, God truly is glorified.  When we admit that all glory, praise and honor is due to God, then God delivers us from evil and brings us into true life.  Amen.  

* Matthew 6:13 
** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Matthew 19:26; Luke 18:27 

Loving Through Humility

We find true, lasting, limitless power in love.  Those who serve become great.  However, if we raise ourselves above others, we will be lowered.  Yet if we lower ourselves, we will be raised up.  As we bow before others, we are empowered to lift others up.  Thus, if we are humble, we will love our neighbor as ourselves.*  

And so in today's Gospel reading, we hear that Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying 

The greatest among you must be your servant.  Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.**  

The greatest one among us has served us, and has served us better than anyone else.  Jesus came to serve.***  He taught us The Word in all He said and did, and thus in His great love for us, He showed us that He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.****  He has loved us so much that He was obedient even unto death, death on a cross,***** so that we would be saved from our sins.  

If we too wish to be great, then we too must serve.  A servant is not greater than his master.******  We should not expect to be greater than Jesus.  When hardship befalls us, we should remember that we too are expected to suffer, just as Jesus suffered and died for us.  We are to die to ourselves so we can live for our neighbor, just as Jesus died for us.  

Essentially, we are called to consent to being humbled, just as Jesus gave His assent to His Heavenly Father humbling Him.  We are called to humility.  

Here we are not presented with easy work.  Our egos tend to get in the way.  I am reminded of an interaction someone related to me.  A young woman I know very well described how she was standing in a busy cafe.  A middle-aged woman who appeared impoverished was also standing at the counter in the process of ordering an item.  This older woman kept glancing nervously at a shopping cart loaded with personal items, which was stationed just outside the cafe.  The young woman gestured to the older woman and the merchandise she wanted.  The younger woman altruistically offered, "I'll get that for you."  

The older woman immediately and indignantly rebuffed the younger woman's generous offer, scoffing, "Oh, no, you won't!"  The younger woman was surprised and silently backed away.  The older woman seemed like she was too proud to accept help from someone else.  

Yet if we raise ourselves up, sooner or later we will be humbled.  At some point we will realize that we need others to help us.  The twentieth century Trappist monk Thomas Merton pointed out that "no man is an island."  If we isolate ourselves, we cannot survive.  

Yet if we acknowledge our weakness, we embrace the reality of our own humanity.  When we admit that we need others, we see the true nature of being human.  Jean Vanier, founder of the L'Arche residential communities for intellectually disabled persons, has noted, "If we deny our weakness and the reality of death, if we want to be strong and powerful always, we deny a part of our being, we live an illusion...  To be human is to be bonded together, each with our weaknesses and strengths, because we need each other.  

When we admit our needs, we are humble, since we are seeing ourselves as we really are.  If we acknowledge that we must rely on each other, we touch the reality of life.  

Otherwise we are destined for disaster, to have no peace.  Saint Teresa of Calcutta has explained, "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."  When we proudly insist on being completely independent of all others, we are setting ourselves up for ruin.  

However, we are set and ready to aid others if we but humble ourselves.  We witness this truth in the lives of many saints over the course of millenia.  Saint Anthony of Egypt, a great saint who was considerably sanctified during his life on earth in the third and fourth centuries, saw in a revelation numerous spiritual snares laid out in front of him.  It seemed that no matter where he would step, he was going to get caught and fall.  He prayed to God, asking Him what could possibly get him through such treacherous terrain.  He was told that with humility, he could successfully traverse such hazardous spiritual landscape.  

Saint Anthony lived for decades as a monk in the Egyptian desert.  He survived on what people brought to him.  Upon his consenting to his being so humbled, God greatly blessed Saint Anthony.  Through him God healed those who came to him.  

Once Saint Anthony had given his assent to being humbled, in effect he had agreed to let God use him as an instrument to heal others in the world, to kindle others' faith in God.  When a person, such as Saint Anthony, or like our Blessed Mother Mary, obediently acquiesces and submits to the will of God, God will utilize that person, helping others through her, since she has become an appropriate vehicle for positive change in the world due to her humility.  

At the time we may view humbling circumstances as embarrassing and demoralizing, but if we have faith in God, in time we come to realize that God will work wonders through such apparent misfortune.  Through our hardships we can come to better understand the difficulties others suffer, and thus we can become better equipped to help them.  

Thus the fifteenth century monk and priest Thomas a Kempis wrote that 

It often happens that after great consolation there comes profound desolation, or troublesome temptation, or bodily unease, or aggravation on the part of men, or loss of friends, or attacks of the enemy, or disturbance of soul, or derision from children or reproof from elders, or harsh correction by superiors.  All these are designed to humble the pride in our hearts, so that we might have compassion on those who are ill as well as on those who are tempted and troubled.  

When calamity strikes, understandably we feel overwhelmed.  However, we are not offered pointless agony when we encounter catastrophes.  If we look by the light of faith, that light by which God seeks to illumine the path before us, we can see that a deeper meaning rests below the surface of the apparent misfortune which has befallen us.  

In the midst of the adversity we face, and the greater understanding we are being given of others' suffering, we are being trained to comprehend others' plight, we are being led to be more compassionate, and thus to better love our neighbor.  How do we respond to such invitations from God?  Do we become angry at God?  Or do we realize that God is inviting us to open our hearts in the midst of trials and tribulations, so that, through intense pain, we can learn to love with greater hearts?  

In effect, when we find ourselves in the midst of humbling circumstances, in how we respond, we are faced with the question on which we will be judged for all of the choices we make in our entire lives.  When we are presented with chances to be humbled amidst afflictions, it really comes down to the question, are we going to choose to love?  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

** Matthew 23:11-12; Matthew 20:26; Luke 14:11; Luke 18:14  
*** Matthew 20:28; Mark 10:45; Luke 22:27; John 13:1-15  

**** John 14:6 

***** Philippians 2:8 

****** John 15:20 

Do Your Best

Today is ripe for comment.  I am deliberately writing today.

As you process the events of the day, consider that you are not responsible for others' actions.  However, each of us is responsible for our own actions.  In the end, once we have passed away, all we will have will be the consequences of our own actions.  Each of us will have to answer for how we, as individuals, have chosen to act.  So make choices now which will bear good fruit both in this lifetime as well as in the next.

Mohandas Gandhi explained, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."  If you are disturbed by something which has happened, then do something.  Do what you think needs to be done.  Be what you feel the world needs.  Whatever you choose to do, do your best.  In his book "The Four Agreements," Don Miguel Ruiz delineates this rule as how we are called to live our lives.  God realizes that we're not going to perform perfectly; God just asks that we do our best.

In addition to doing our spiritual duty by doing our best, it has been shown that people derive psychological benefits from choosing to take action.  When we ruminate, when we overthink about our problems, we tend to reinforce whatever degree of depression we tend to feel over the dilemma.  However, when we distract ourselves, or refocus our attention onto other matters, we tend to improve our mood.  Also, when we are more active, getting up and being mobile, we make it more likely we'll feel better.  Yet when we take a more passive, that is, sedentary, approach, we'll experience less of a lift in our mood.*

So in the midst of processing the circumstances of today, I have found that I have felt better today as I have decided to get out and take action.  Historically over the course of my life I have found this to be true as well.  There are specific moments I recall when I was an attorney, when I was feeling down.  At those points, when I reached out to help educate someone about the law, I felt better than I did before I did so.  Conversely, those who knew me in my adolescence knew me to be a rather depressed person.  That was back when I didn't get out and take much action, certainly far less than I have been taking over the last half dozen years.  Thus I recommend being deliberately active and moving to be the force you think the world needs.  In light of recent events, I don't mean to sound dismissive of how some people may feel right now.  However, what I can say for certain is that this approach has repeatedly worked for me over the course of my life, in stark contrast to when I have chosen not to follow it.

Today once again I witnessed the truth of this approach.  Someone I know went today and brought some food to someone who lives close by.  As she took the food, she smiled and expressed gratitude for receiving the food.  The giver expressed feeling better after handing the food to her, having had a desire to take immediate concrete steps to try to be generous amidst witnessing a perceived selfishness and greed by some in our society.

The recipient of the food too shared about an important lesson she learned yet again.  In that interaction in which she received the food, she shared about how she recently was awarded custody of her son.  In speaking with the person bringing the food to her, she explained the state of her mind, heart and soul as she had been pondering her quest to be granted custody of her son.  She said that she decided to turn it over to God.  She added that God took care of it for her.

In light of this message of relying on God, which inevitably leads one to pray, here I am led to another important point, which always applies.  However, the danger of succumbing to this particular trap is especially perilous when one feels that one is helpless, and that all is hopeless.  If you pray, the worst possible thing you could possibly do would be to stop praying.  When you are in spiritual darkness, you have the greatest need to pray.  Saint Paul exhorted us, "Pray without ceasing."**

Beyond praying always, Saint Paul also urged us, "Rejoice always."***  He also told us, "In all circumstances give thanks."****  At this point, you might be thinking something like, "Doug, I was humoring you up to now, but I can't swallow this.  When inflammatory, incendiary, divisive statements are made which demean and degrade people, and then such rhetoric is implicitly approved by many, you expect me to be joyous and to thank God?"  If we truly love others, then we will be disturbed when people are debased and disrespected.  God calls us not to be pleased and joyous because others are being mistreated, but to be grateful and joyous to Him that we are presented with the circumstances in which we currently find ourselves.  Are we grateful to God for the opportunity which God has given to us?  Anything except sin can sanctify us, that is, bring us closer to God, if only we respond in the right way.  I'm not trying to suggest that we're presented with an easy task here; I readily admit this is very difficult work.  Anything worth achieving comes at great personal cost.  The greater the worth, the more it costs.  If you believe this maxim as it relates to personal wealth, why reject this axiom when applied to spiritual progress?

Dorothy Day, who co-founded the Catholic Worker movement with Peter Maurin, said, "Love is the only solution."  If we're really serious about living a life of love, then the question is presented to each and every one of us, how far are we going to go to try to love?  Jesus told us, " No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."*****  Jesus did exactly that.  He died on the cross for us, obedient even to the point of death, allowing Himself to be humbled even more than He already had been humbled.******  He also instructed us, "Love one another as I love you."*******  We are called to die to ourselves so we can better serve others.  We are called to die to our own egos, so as to be better able to love our neighbor.  When we strive for our egos to die, we can go beyond ourselves.  Then, instead of staying inside ourselves, we can go further, to try to help someone who may have hurt us.  Then, by the grace of God, it becomes possible to do what had previously seemed impossible to do.

In light of the grace of God, it becomes clearer how Jesus directed us

"You have heard that it was said,
'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  
But I say to you, Love your enemies, 
and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be children of your Heavenly Father,
for He makes His Sun rise on the bad and the good,
and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, 
what recompense will you have?
Do not the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that?
Do not the pagans do the same?
So be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect."********

In the end, the goal is love.  To love as God loves is to love all God created.  God loves everyone He created.  He may be displeased with certain persons at certain times.  However, God still loves those persons.  While God is loving all of the people He created, we are to strive to love our neighbor too.

We are to love our neighbor despite how he or she may act in ways we don't approve, and which we might even find repellent or abhorrent.  But although we might find someone else's choices distressing, we should not worry about what the future holds and how it will be affected by others' decisions.  Jesus instructed us, "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.  Sufficient for a day is its own evil."*********

Don't worry about other people, what they say, or what they do.  We never were responsible for their actions; we never will be.  In the end, we won't be asked to answer for their behavior.

In the end, we will be called to account for our own actions.  So despite the events of the day, the question remains: what are you going to do?

* Here is an excellent example of how I have continued to benefit from my Bachelor's degree in Psychology.  While an undergraduate student, I learned that distracting, or refocusing, oneself tends to be more effective in remediating depression than ruminating.  In learning about the same psychological studies, I learned that activity tends to be more effective than passivity in remediating depression.  Prof. Jannay Morrow, one of my mentors while I was a Psychology major, had previously conducted these studies.
** 1 Thessalonians 5:17
*** 1 Thessalonians 5:16
**** 1 Thessalonians 5:18
***** John 15:13
****** Philippians 2:8
******* John 15:12
******** Matthew 5:43-48
********* Matthew 6:34