Listen With Love

Here at the hermitage where I am currently on retreat, every night after Vespers, for half an hour the Blessed Sacrament is on the altar in the church.  The monks welcome guests to join them in Eucharistic Adoration.  

Tonight during Eucharistic Adoration, as is typically the case, the lights were off.  Also as usual, near the Eucharist on the altar, three very short candles were burning.  

As I sat gazing at the Blessed Sacrament, I recalled how, earlier this week, I had heard a needy man, who I'll again call "Manuel," recite part of a poem he had written.  From memory as he retold the poem, he spoke of how he would not be ashamed of the sacrifice Jesus had made for him.  In the poem, he explained how he would not be ashamed of the body and the blood of Christ, for in it rests his salvation.*  

I was implicitly encouraged to welcome Jesus Christ into my heart as I heard Manuel recite his poem.  While Manuel does not always speak so poetically, nor does he always act so gracefully, nevertheless he sits before me as one from whom I can learn.  

Recently Manuel was chastised for allegedly attempting to conduct a drug deal in a public space.  Later that evening, apparently agitated over how he had been chided, Manuel was yelling in the road that if he felt like screaming in the street, then he would scream in the street.  

From his unsavory actions, one could quickly conclude that one has nothing to learn from him.  We can jump to the conclusion that we have nothing to learn from drug dealers and drug addicts.  Or we can recognize the truth that even drug dealers and drug addicts can teach us, if we are willing to listen to them.  

Jesus speaks to us through those who are maligned.  In how we react to those who are social outcasts, so we reply to Jesus.  Whatever we do to those who are the least among us, we do to Jesus.**  If we ignore those who are marginalized in our society, we turn our backs on Jesus.  

Everyday we are confronted with the choice of how we will respond when we meet Jesus in the poor person in front of us.  If we shut our ears and avert our eyes from the indigent person before us, we shut out Jesus.  Yet Jesus advised that those who have ears to hear should listen.***  

In the end, Jesus calls us to love.  We love our neighbor when we listen to our neighbor.  We are able to listen to our neighbor when we do not judge our neighbor.  If we choose not to judge our neighbor, then we can forgive our neighbor, and welcoming him into our hearts, we can listen to what he has to tell us.  

The Holy Spirit speaks to us through our neighbor.  The Holy Spirit, in our neighbor, invites us to open our hearts to Jesus.  There, in our neighbor, we find Jesus, inviting us to welcome Him into our hearts.  If we wish to welcome Jesus into our hearts, let us love our neighbor by not judging our neighbor, by forgiving our neighbor, and by listening to our neighbor.  Amen.  

* Romans 1:16 
** Matthew 25:40,45
*** Matthew 11:15; Matthew 13:9; Mark 4:9; Revelation 2:7,29 

Giving Up Ourselves

We are to give of ourselves.  We are to pour ourselves out for our neighbor.  Out of love for our neighbor, we are to die to ourselves so our neighbor can more fully live.  We are reminded of how we are called to such death and rebirth through how Jesus lived, died and rose from the dead for us.  In emulating and following Jesus, we are to model such love for each other.  I have seen a dear friend live out this love, throughout the whole time I have known him, and especially over the past year.  

Yesterday I visited this dear friend.  Years ago he asked me to address him as "Uncle," so here in this blog post I'll call him "Uncle."  Uncle is much older than I am.  He's the father of two friends of mine who were in college with me; I've known them for over twenty years.  Since we've been good friends for so long, years ago they introduced me to their father, who is Uncle.  
About nine months ago Uncle had a stroke.  He has been slowly recovering from this stroke: he cannot speak; he can move much less than he used to move.  He has been recuperating in long-term care facilities.  I have been struck by his tenacity and his determination.  Although he has faced significant challenges as he tries to regain his functioning, he has not been deterred.  

He has not given up.  He has kept trying to get better.  Although his body is broken, still he gives of himself.  

Jesus' body was broken for us.  Jesus gave of Himself for our sakes.  

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ.  Today we especially honor how Jesus gave up His body and His blood for us.   

When Jesus celebrated the Last Supper with His disciples, He broke the bread and gave it to His disciples, telling them, "This is My Body, given for you."  With the cup of wine, He told them, "This is My Blood, poured out for you."  As He gave them the bread and the cup, He instructed His disciples, "Do this in memory of me."*  Thus we celebrate the Eucharist when we celebrate Mass.  

Jesus has told us to do as he has done.  Give yourself up for your neighbor.  

Uncle is still giving of himself for the sake of his children and grandchildren.  By facing physical pain and incapacitation with resolve and fortitude, he is showing his children and his grandchildren how to respond courageously to formidable challenges.  In how he stays his course as he bravely grapples with his physical challenges, he is continuing to teach his children and his grandchildren about persistence, a labor of love to be honored today on Father's Day, and everyday.  

Uncle is embracing the duty God has placed before him.  Yesterday when I saw Uncle, I read to him an excerpt from "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, which I felt he would find inspiring.  In it, de Caussade asks us, 

Is not a picture painted on a canvas by the application of one stroke of the brush at a time?  Similarly the cruel chisel destroys a stone with each cut.  But what the stone suffers by repeated blows is no less the shape the mason is making of it.  And should a poor stone be asked, "What is happening to you?" it might reply, "Don't ask me.  All I know is that for my part there is nothing for me to know or do, only to remain steady under the hand of my Master and to love Him and suffer Him to work out my destiny.  It is for Him to know how to achieve this.  I know neither what is best and most perfect, and I suffer each cut of the chisel as though it were the best thing for me, even though, to tell the truth, each one is my idea of ruin, destruction and defacement.  But, ignoring all this, I rest contented with the present moment.  Thinking only of my duty to it, I submit to the work of this skillful Master without caring to know what it is."  

God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  God seeks to shape us through means we would not have chosen on our own.  God speaks to us in ways we don't expect.  

I think of Father Bruno, one of the Camaldolese monks I met at the hermitage in Big Sur, and how he found encouragement in his monastic vocation in a way some might see as unlikely, as described in the book "Adam: God's Beloved" by Henri Nouwen.  Once Father Bruno had stopped serving as prior, or head, of the monastic community in Big Sur, he took a sabbatical to help him to transition from holding authority to once again being a regular monk.  During his three months away from the hermitage, Father Bruno stayed at one of the L'Arche homes for disabled people founded by Jean Vanier.  While caring for a young intellectually disabled man named Adam at a L'Arche home, Father Bruno related how this disabled man, who essentially could not speak, was helping him to be a better monk.  Father Bruno explained that he had known that he "had to become empty for God, gradually letting go of thoughts, emotions, feelings and passions" that prevent deep communion with God.  Father Bruno described how silent Adam was helping him to delve into deeper solitude and thus deeper communion with God.  

We find encouragement in our relationship with God through people we don't expect, and through circumstances we don't expect.  God speaks to us both through pleasure and through pain, both of which can help us to welcome God into our hearts.  

When we encounter hardship, it might not seem like a blessing to us.  In the moment, all we see and feel is our own misery.  Yet we can come to realize that by pouring ourselves out for our neighbor, we can help our neighbor more fully live.  If we embrace our suffering, we are well-positioned to love our neighbor.  If we consciously embrace our afflictions so that others can live better, we can witness our pain being transformed into a sacrifice of love.  A sacrifice lovingly given can bear beautiful fruit, which can be seen in how others come to love better through the example provided to them.  

Once we see that our suffering can become an occasion for us to better love our neighbor, we come to see that God allows us to encounter adversity for our own good.  And of course God allows us pleasure for our comfort.  And so we can come to see God in all things.  We can come to welcome ordeals once we see that God is working all for our good, if we just love Him.**  

Realizing that God works all for the good of those who love Him, we come to thank God always.***  Seeing that God is always loving us, since God is love,**** we come to ever more open our hearts to God.  Welcoming God as love, we welcome whatever God sends to us.  Out of love, we welcome God into our hearts.  Amen.  

* Matthew 26:26-28; Mark 14:22-24; Luke 22:19-20; 
1 Corinthians 11:23-25 

** Romans 8:28 

*** 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

**** 1 John 4:8,16 

Plainly Loving Language

When we speak with someone, there is much left unsaid.  And yet we do not want to have regrets.  We want to express what is in our hearts that is longing to be released.  

If we but listen, we can hear the love of God that is knocking at the door of our hearts.  If we have let that love into our hearts,* that love in us is meant to be let out.  God calls us to love our neighbor** through our actions, and to speak plainly the language of love with our neighbor, whether they are rich or poor, whether they are luxuriously living in a mansion, or are huddled and shivering in sleeping bags and tents in the bushes.  
I have been trying to demonstrate to the homeless folks I love here in Redwood City that there is a deeper meaning to interactions they have with people who help them.  Recently I have told certain homeless friends of mine that when they receive food from people who aim to help them, it is not just about food.  Really, I have said to them, I have been trying to tell you that I love you.  

We wish to show you that you are worthy of respect.  You are receiving this love God is giving you through me because God loves you.  

And so when I have spoken so directly to my homeless friends who I so cherish, I feel as if I could say to them, that the time has come when I am no longer communicating with you in figures of speech, much like what Jesus said to His disciples just before His passion and death.***  It seems as if I could tell these dear homeless brothers and sisters of mine that now I am no longer just speaking with you through the metaphors of my actions.  Now I am speaking with you plainly.****  Finally I am talking with you in the plain language of love. 

Throughout much of His public ministry, Jesus spoke in parables and figures of speech.  Then on Maundy Thursday, He sat down with His disciples for the Last Supper, just before He was handed over to be condemned to death.*****  In that meal that night with His disciples, they saw a prefiguring of His sacrifice on the Cross.  While His disciples sat down to a meal of bread and wine, they received much more than food and drink; in the Eucharist, we receive nourishment of love from Jesus.  Having shown us on the night of the Last Supper how we are to celebrate the Eucharist, Jesus was about to die on Cross, and do what He had just said He was about to do.  He was showing them the greatest love one can have for one's friends, as He laid down His life for His friends.******  

When we try to show the greatest love we can have for our neighbor, when we die to ourselves, we live for our neighbor.  When we forget who we are, who society thinks we are supposed to be, when we disregard the message from society that we are to shun our brothers and sisters who are outcasts, then we can die to the disordered desires and hurtful ideas and selfish tendencies we have, so we can embrace our needy neighbor, and thus live for our neighbor.  

Once Jesus had spoken plainly to His disciples, just before He was handed over to be crucified, He told them that He did not have much more to say to them.*******  He had spoken The Truth honestly and openly with them, and thus there was not much else for Him to say.  

In telling these treasured homeless friends of mine that in trying to care for them, I am truly trying to tell them that I deeply love them, I have spoken plainly to them.  I have said what I really have to say to these homeless friends I so love.  And so I don't have much else to say.  

And so in a certain sense, I would be content if this were to be last blog entry I were ever to write.  Since this is the core of the message I feel that God brought me into the world to declare to my brothers and my sisters, I feel I have been embracing the vocation of love to which God has been calling me.    

For were I left to my own devices, I would be hesitant to say both that I am an unprofitable servant, and that I have only done my duty.  If I had not been instructed otherwise, I would lament that I am an unprofitable servant, and that I am not even sure that I can say that I have even done my duty.  However, since Jesus directed us to say in the end, "We are unprofitable servants; we have only done what we were obliged to do,"******** then I do proclaim those words.  Knowing that I have done what God has called me to do, to declare the truth to my homeless brothers and sisters, that they deserve respect and are clothed in dignity, since they are loved by God and by me, I rest secure in the loving promise that God, in His great mercy, will forgive me to the extent I have failed in performing this duty.  

And so, whether it is today, tomorrow, or fifty or more years from now, secure in the knowledge that I am called to lovingly embrace my homeless brothers and sisters, and that God, in His immense mercy will forgive me insofar as I fail in my best efforts to overwhelmingly love them, I joyfully proclaim that I am going home to the Father.*********  When I finally get back home, my dear brothers and sisters, please do not grieve for me, for it will be the most glorious day I have ever seen.  For my tiny, paltry, measly efforts to love will be overwhelmed by the unbelievably warm tender glow of the infinite love of God.  And thanks to His magnificent mercy, I shall bask in the glory of His infinite love for all eternity.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** John 16:25 
**** John 16:29 
***** Matthew 26:26-29; Mark 14:22-25; Luke 22:14-20 
****** John 15:13 
******* John 14:30 
******** Luke 17:10 
********* John 16:16-17 

Not Only Bread

When it seems like we are suffering without meaning, a purpose can be achieved if we but trust in God.  A point rests in difficulties, if we are but willing that it be shown to us.  God is training us.  Do we accept this guidance?  We learn not just when we are sated.  We grow also when we are longing and feel we are not being satisfied.  

We realize who we are both through times which are rewarding as well as during trying periods.  By navigating amidst both types of waters, we see reflected in those waters our truest, deepest desires.  In time we come to see our true identity in all types of moments, and thus we come to discover true joy, the deep and profound joy which comes from knowing who we truly are.  

And so we are not always satiating our desires.  We know that we learn also when we deprive ourselves of what we want.  Thus now during Lent, for forty days we immerse ourselves in a more intense period of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  

We are encouraged in our Lenten observances through knowing that Jesus fasted in the desert for forty days.  Thus in today's Gospel we hear that 

At that time Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert
to be tempted by the devil.
He fasted for forty days and forty nights,
and afterwards he was hungry.
The tempter approached and said to him, 
"If you are the Son of God, 
command that these stones become loaves of bread."
He said in reply,
"It is written:
One does not live on bread alone,
but on every word that comes forth
from the mouth of God."

Then the devil took him to the holy city, 
and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 
and said to him, 
"If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.
For it is written:
He will command his angels concerning you
and with their hands they will support you,
lest you dash your foot against a stone."
Jesus answered him,
"Again it is written, 
You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test."  

Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain,
and showed him all the kingdoms of the world 
in their magnificence, 
and he said to him, "All these I shall give to you, 
if you will prostrate yourself and worship me."
At this, Jesus said to him,
"Get away, Satan!
It is written:
The Lord, your God, shall you worship
and him alone shall you serve."

Then the devil left him and, behold,
angels came and ministered to him.*  

There is the temptation to focus on what is visible.  Satan tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread.  If we focus too much on food, we can end up putting our bodies before our souls.  Then, at the hour of our death, we can be in the position of wishing we had put our souls before our bodies.  Jesus reminds us that we truly subsist on the Word of God, for the Word feeds our souls, while bread feeds only our bodies.  We need not only bread, but, far more importantly, the Word of God so we may be fully nourished.  

There is the temptation to test God.  Satan tried to tempt Jesus into jumping off the spire of the temple to see if God the Father would save Him.  We try to test and see if God is really going to take care of us.  We worry that God doesn't have everything in His care.  God has a plan that is infinitely better for us than anything we could possibly imagine.  Jesus directs us not to put God to the test.  God calls us to trust Him.  

There is the temptation to grab power, and in doing so, to sacrifice our souls through turning away from God.  Satan tempted Jesus with the suggestion of earthly power.  Jesus knew who He was and is; Jesus knew that His Kingdom is not of this world.**  We are not to grasp for power that is not within the scope of our vocation: we are not to cling to power that God is not calling us to have.  We are to follow the call that God sends to each of us.  In the process, we respect ourselves and we reverence God, for we are who He created us to be, and we do what He created us to do, to adore, and praise and glorify Him.  

When Jesus faced these temptations for forty days, He was strengthened in the knowledge of the Israelites' exodus in the desert for forty years.***  Jesus knew also that Moses had spent forty days fasting on the mountain as he received the Ten Commandments from God.****  

Jesus was conscious of what God the Father had been trying to show us for years through deprivation.  When Jesus confronted temptation, He knew the purpose of the desert.  In not only the literal desert, a dry, barren, stark landscape, but also in spiritual deserts characterized by spiritual dryness and loneliness, and in emotional deserts fraught with frustration, dissatisfaction and depression, we encounter denial of our desires.  We are tested through hardship.  Through adversity, we are brought up by God: through trials, God helps us to progress beyond being spiritual infants.  Amidst difficulties, God helps us grow up to be spiritually mature and robust, strong in our faith so that we trust in Him when we are assailed by stressful circumstances which test our faith, so that we may prove our love for Him.  

It is from this perspective of one akin to that of a loving parent that we come to understand a faint, slight glimmer of how God loves us.  While we may think that we are suffering pointlessly, God is helping us to become more than we have been, to become much better than we have been.  

Through this lens of spiritual clarity we gain when we see that God is a deeply loving Father, we come to view our past trials through a new light.  We see how God has been working all for our good, for those of us who love Him.*****  Then we understand how the Israelites were told 

Remember how for these forty years 
the LORD, your God, 
has directed all your journeying in the wilderness, 
so as to test you by affliction, 
to know what was in your heart: 
to keep his commandments, or not.  
He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger, 
and then fed you with manna, 
a food unknown to you and your ancestors, 
so you might know 
that it is not by bread alone that people live, 
but by all that comes forth from the mouth of the Lord.  
The clothing did not fall from you in tatters, 
nor did your feet swell these forty years.  
So you must know in your heart that, 
even as a man disciplines his son, 
so the Lord, your God, disciplines you.  
Therefore, keep the commandments of the Lord, your God, 
by walking in his ways and fearing him.******  

With the realization that afflictions are not meaningless suffering, but are tests from God to demonstrate our love for Him, and are lessons that we must rely only on Him, we see that we are led to love God.  God guides us through all that happens, some of which seems harsh and painful.  Yet we must remember that when we are being disciplined, although it seems a cause not of joy but of distress, later it brings fruit in peace for those who have gone through it.*******  

By way of analogy, I think of a family who recently moved out of the Catholic Worker House here.  They often come back to visit, so we still get to see them a lot.  The mother has noticed that one of her children asks very frequently for chocolate.  The mom now often tells her daughter that she may not have chocolate when she asks for it.  

If a child grows up always getting what she wants, what kind of adult will she become?  If God always gives us what we want, what sort of people will we be?  

I think too of a conversation I had recently with a certain homeless woman I've met countless times.  Once again here I'll call her "Roslyn."  Roslyn once asked me why God lets unfortunate things happen to people.  I suggested to Roslyn that she imagine a child playing on a playground.  I added into the visualization a parent who stayed at the playground and always intervened and prevented any harm from ever coming to the child.  I asked Roslyn what she thought of the way that such a child would be brought up.  She replied that the child would not be well raised.  I said that thus God loves us and lets us learn in varied ways.  

Yet are we willing to learn?  Do we embrace opportunities to learn, or do we reject such occasions to learn when they feel unpleasant?  A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend.  Understandably, she was disappointed that they realized that they had to part ways because their values were too divergent to make a continuing relationship feasible.  At the end of relationships, what is God trying to teach us?  In every situation in our lives, what is there we can learn?  

To learn, we must be humble.  God wants us to learn, so He humbles us.  

God makes us feel hunger and thirst, so we can hunger and thirst for what we need.  We grow not just through our desires being satisfied.  We also develop through our yearnings.   

So that we may grow, God tests our inmost heart.  If we are never tested, we never know where we stand and thus where and how we need to grow.  God wants to see what we desire.  God wants to see if we truly love Him.  

Do we really love God?  Will we obey God even when things become rough?  

And so some periods in our lives become harder.  God knows that sometimes if we suffer, we can learn.  There are instances when God allows us to hurt so that we may grow through the pain.  

If we see that God allows misfortune so that we may grow, then we become more willing to die to ourselves.  If we realize that, by denying our desires, we can grow, then we are likely to begin fasting.  

We come to see that we live not on bread alone.  When we see that our souls are fed and are strengthened in the midst of adversity, we become willing to suffer out of love of God and love of our neighbor.  Feeling nourished by the love we witness through the sacrifice Jesus made for us, it becomes clear to us that our souls are fed by the Word of God.   

During Mass, when we remember His sacrifice, we recall how he gave Himself to die for our sins.  In this recollection of His death on the Cross, we are implicitly encouraged to die for our neighbor as He died for us.  We receive the encouragement and love of Jesus when we receive the Eucharist.  Thus we can come to realize that the Eucharist is not merely bread.  

Jesus is living in us.  If we welcome Jesus into our hearts, then we are living in love.  If we remain in Jesus as He remains in us,******** we have true life, and thus true joy: this is a joy which no one can take away from us,********* no matter what happens.  In this joy we begin to have a foretaste of the joy we will have in Heaven.  If we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we can begin to live in eternal joy right now.  

* Matthew 4:1-11 
** John 18:36
*** Deuteronomy 8:2-3 
**** Exodus 34:28; Deuteronomy 9:18 
***** Romans 8:28 
****** Deuteronomy 8:2-6 
******* Hebrews 12:11 
******** John 15:4 
********* John 16:22