Love Extinguishes Fear

A few days ago at our weekly house Mass here at the Catholic Worker House, we heard about knowing Jesus, who He is, how much He loves us, and the importance of faith.  When we know Jesus and who He is, we have faith in Him, and we have no fear, for we know that Jesus loves us, for God is love,* and in love there is no room for fear.**  In the Gospel reading we heard at that house Mass, we heard that 

It happened that one day Jesus got into a boat with His disciples and said to them, "Let us cross over to the other side of the lake."  So they set out, and as they sailed He fell asleep.  When a squall of wind came down on the lake, the boat started taking in water and they found themselves in danger.  So they went to rouse Him, saying, "Master!  Master!  We are lost!"  Then He woke up and rebuked the wind and the rough water; and they subsided and it was calm again.  He said to them, "Where is your faith?"  They were awestruck and astounded and said to one another, "Who can this be, that gives orders even to winds and waves and they obey Him?"***  

At the house Mass, someone explained that the Apostles had been afraid because they were still asking who Jesus is.  When we know who Jesus is, we are not afraid, for when we know who Jesus is, we know love, for God is love, and in love there is no room for fear.  

Let us know Jesus, and know love.  In coming to know Jesus, let us come to know perfect love, and thus come to have all fear cast out of us.****  Amen.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 
** 1 John 4:18 
*** Luke 8:22-25 
**** 1 John 4:18 

Waste Not Tears

We are all faced over and over with the decision of whether or not we will love.  We all choose our relationship with pain.  We all decide whether we embrace suffering or reject it.  In what we accept or deny, we determine whether or not we love.  

We can cry out of hopeless desperation, feeling frantic, and convinced that all is lost.  Or we can profoundly weep out of great love for others.  

We can let tears fall from our eyes without realizing their value.  Or we can weep offering our tears as prayers to God.  

All we send out from our being echoes out into the universe.  As a tear falls from your eye, if you offer it as a humble prayer to God, when it drops into the liquid lake of spiritual solidarity we share, you can implicitly offer that tear to help others.  Your tearful prayers are effective when they are offered as the basis of humble and earnest prayer.  When such humble, ardent tears of yours hit the liquid lake of spiritual community we share, these tears send out ripples of love across that surface.  Thus through such tears you can seek to strengthen your spiritual brothers and sisters.  

I am not merely speaking in theoretical terms here.  Ever since earlier this week, when a dear homeless friend who I'll once again here call "Sally" shared with me how she views tears as liquid prayers, her statement of spiritual insight has been echoing in my soul.  Like a drop of water that falls into a pond and causes ripples outward, so her tender spiritual musing, coming into contact with my ears, has been echoing in my soul.  
Despite the struggle, Sally has chosen not to let her agonizing experiences dominate how she responds to life.  As I have mentioned in prior blog posts, Sally has endured domestic violence.  Despite having been hit hard many times by multiple men, Sally refuses to be enslaved by the pain she has felt.  Instead she offers up her tears to God.  Interwoven with her sensitivity and fragility, she also displays a courageous and admirable tenacity, and so she sends out a strong message of faith, hope and love, that pain can be the basis of a beautiful transformation of one's spirit.   

Knowing, then, that we can consent to our suffering being transformed into the joy that emerges out of service of others, we can come to experience a radical alteration of how we feel pain, see pain, and respond to pain.  Aware that God works all for the good of those who love Him,* we come to realize that even anguish can lead to joy, if we seize upon such opportunities to petition God.  Thus in all we experience we can be joyous,** if all we do is for the praise, glory and honor of God.  

Conscious that all we experience presents us chances to glorify God by assenting to call upon Him so He may show us His great love always, we come to give thanks always for all things.***  As we come to express such gratitude at all times, God comes to give us a deep, abiding and enduring peace, as, feeling His love, Jesus comes to abide in us, and we in Him.****  

Let us embrace every opportunity we have, then, including in the midst of our tears, to pray constantly,***** give thanks for all things always, and thus love God and love our neighbor.  Thus we come to live a life of love.  Amen.  

* Romans 8:28 
** 1 Thessalonians 5:16 
*** 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
**** John 15:4-7,9-10
***** 1 Thessalonians 5:17 

Trying To Help

Yesterday we received a huge amount of clothes donated on our front porch here at the Catholic Worker House.  Jesse, one of the homeless folks who comes here to the house to receive services, was helping us to sort and bag the clothes.  We hadn't asked him for his assistance; he just started aiding us on his own initiative.  

I expressed my gratitude to him for helping my fellow Catholic Worker Susan and me.  He replied that he was just trying to do right by God and by his neighbor.  

I responded something like, "Those are the two most important things to do in life.  If you've got those as priorities, it's not like you're never going to have problems, but you'll have real peace."  

Tearful Liquid Prayers

Today I saw a particular homeless woman who again here I'll call "Sally."  Sally and I were talking about praying when we are crying.  

Sally shared with me, "I've heard, and I've thought  it too, that tears are liquid prayers, when we feel like we don't know what else to say to our Creator."  

I responded, "You know, it's really appropriate that you say that today.  At Mass today, one of the Bible verses that was read was about how, when we don't know how to pray, the Spirit in us expresses in groans for us what we feel we don't know how to say."*  

If we feel we don't know how to pray, we can simply offer our emotions up to God.  We can cry to God and offer our tears as loving prayers to God.  With these tears, we can offer wordless prayers to God, to express what we feel we cannot put into words.  

And for what we feel we cannot articulate in words in prayers, the Holy Spirit prays in us, in groans we feel we do not know how to utter ourselves.  Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to us** to help us to pray to our Heavenly Father.  Indeed, our Heavenly Father has sent the Holy Spirit upon us,*** since our Heavenly Father is compassionate about how we express ourselves.  

God knows we do not always have words for Him.  God accepts our wordless prayers when they are offered in humility.  God feels our tears, and hears them as prayers, when they are offered out of love of Him.  

Let us cry to God, then.  Let us offer how we feel to God, crying out to Him to help us understand how much He loves us.  Amen.  

* Romans 8:26 
** John 16:7 
*** John 14:26 

Whom You Seek

Who do we want in our lives?  Who are we looking for?  In the answers to these questions, we define ourselves.  You show who you are by the company you keep.  You make clear your identity through the people you want to have around you.  Through who you welcome into your heart, you not only fix your relationship with your neighbor, but also your relationship with God.  

Today as we celebrate the feast day of Saint Mary Magdalene, through her example, we are reminded that we show who we are by who we seek.  In today's Gospel reading we are told of how she went looking for Jesus after He had been buried.  There we hear that 

On the first day of the week,
Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early in the morning,
while it was still dark,
and saw the stone removed from the tomb.
So she ran and went to Simon Peter
and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,
"They have taken the Lord from the tomb,
and we don't know where they put him." 

Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping.
And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb
and saw two angels in white sitting there,
one at the head and one at the feet
where the Body of Jesus had been.
And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?"
She said to them, "They have taken my Lord,
and I don't know where they laid him."
When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you looking for?"
She thought it was the gardener and said to him,
"Sir, if you carried him away,
tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him."
Jesus said to her, "Mary!"
She turned and said to him in Hebrew,
"Rabbouni," which means Teacher.
Jesus said to her,
"Stop holding on to me, 
for I have not yet ascended to the Father.
But go to my brothers and tell them,
'I am going to my Father and your Father,
to my God and your God.'"
Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples,
"I have seen the Lord,"
and then reported what he told her.*   

Mary Magdalene saw that Jesus' tomb had been opened.  She not only ran to tell Saint Peter and the other disciple who Jesus loved, who was Saint John, but, since she sought Jesus, she returned to the tomb.  There she encountered Jesus.  Yet she did not realize she had once again been visited by Jesus.  Jesus comes to us.  Do we recognize Him?  

A homeless woman showed up at my doorstep yesterday.  Did I see Jesus in her?  Jesus has told us that whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.**  Whatever we do to the homeless person in front of us, we do to Jesus.  

We can become passionate about Jesus.  We can become so intent on finding God that we can fail to recognize Him when He is standing next to us.  Then Jesus, in the impoverished person before us, may ask us, "Who are you looking for?"  

Everyday we are presented with precious opportunities to love which are wrapped up with, which are inextricably intertwined with, our eternal destinies.  When we have gotten to the other side of death, then we will meet Jesus no longer in poor persons, but Jesus as Himself.  Then He will address us according to what we have done.  

If we have fed the hungry, given drink to the thirsty, welcomed the stranger, clothed the naked, cared for the ill, and visited those in prison,*** Jesus will bid us to inherit the Kingdom.****  If we have failed to perform these corporal works of mercy, Jesus will tell us to depart from Him.*****  For whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.  And whatever we fail to do to those who are the least among us, we fail to do to Him.******  

So, now, while we still have the chance to be merciful to our neighbor, especially those who are the least among us, do we recognize Jesus among us now, in the poor persons in front of us?  Do we seek Jesus in the impoverished person, in the homeless person, who is literally reaching toward us, asking us for just a little bit of food to ease the hunger pains crying out towards us?  

In whom we seek, we define ourselves.  For in whom we seek, we decide our eternal destinies.  In who we are looking for, we determine our relationship with God.  Let us turn toward God, by opening our hearts to love, by loving our neighbor, right now, right in front of us.  Amen.  

* John 20:1-2, 11-18
** Matthew 25:40 
*** Matthew 25:35-40 
**** Matthew 25:34 
***** Matthew 25:41 
****** Matthew 25:45 

Thanking God Always

Today three different times I saw a particular homeless woman I know who once again here I'll call "Anna."  The first two times I saw Anna, she seemed stressed and out of sorts.  She also appeared to be sweaty, which made sense, since it was rather hot here in Redwood City today.  

The third and final time I saw Anna today, she seemed much more composed and collected.  During the course of our conversation, she shared that she had taken a shower.  I've noticed that when Anna has recently had a shower, she appears calmer, and much less likely to be agitated.  

We all have our weak points.  Sometimes if I haven't eaten, I can become quite cranky, as some people well know.  Apparently when Anna has felt hot and sweaty, understandably she becomes considerably uncomfortable, but then she feels the relaxation she has been seeking if she takes a shower.  

So often it can be so easy to take these little comforts for granted.  When we realize that not everyone can eat or drink or shower or sleep comfortably when they want, then we can come to give thanks to God for all things.*  When we come to see everything as the gift from God which it truly is, then we express the gratitude to God which we owe to Him.  With grateful hearts, we are brought into proper relationship with God.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

Lovingly Recognizing Ourselves

If we are not at peace with our neighbor, it is because we have failed to see ourselves in our neighbor.  If we can recognize ourselves in our neighbor, then we can come to love our neighbor as ourselves* as Jesus taught us to do.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Presently Loving Others

It turns out I'm going to stay here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  A few months ago the other Catholic Workers here told me they'd been more pleased with my work than when we'd previously spoken months earlier about my work and about whether or not I'd stay here.  Consequently, they said I could keep living and working here long-term.  

Larry, who founded the Redwood City Catholic Worker House dozens of years ago, wondered if I'd been throwing myself more into the work simply because I'd become more comfortable and because I had relaxed.  In our work, we pick up donations, including of food and clothing and toiletries, and people come here to the Catholic Worker House and get what they need.  Apparently I have been immersing myself more in this work, although I haven't been aware of any change in myself.  

Susan noted how I've been connecting with homeless folks and other persons who are especially in need here in Redwood City.  She talked about how homeless folks come to our front porch to get items that are donated and left there, and how they know me.  

Both Larry and Susan were receptive to my continuing to live and work here at the Catholic Worker House.  They expressed how they felt it could be beneficial if I were to stay.  

I've felt and heard the gratitude my homeless friends and my other impoverished friends have shown to us Catholic Workers here.  I enjoy when they give thanks, and I feel their thankfulness is a reward, but their gratitude is not the reason I do this work.  We are to serve our neighbor because we are to love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus has instructed us to do.  

In the love I feel for them, and in their appreciation of our presence and our ministry, I find indications that love is blooming in their hearts.  Love can bloom in our hearts if we welcome every little chance we get to plant little seeds of love in our lives.  Saint Therese of Lisieux was named The Little Flower, for she had this little way of doing little loving acts for others.  In the little acts of love we can strive to perform for others, and in joyous gestures of thanks people give us in return, we can see the fruits of love flowering out of the little seeds of love that have been planted in each others' hearts.  

And so I cannot help but suspect that I am where God wishes me to be.  God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  Thus the Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade counsels us to open our hearts to what we are being called to do in the present.  Indeed, when you embrace the duty of the present moment, and love your neighbor who is right in front of you, you please God.  

Sometimes in various ways we can find surprising this duty that has been placed in front of us.  We can become blinded to what God is asking us to do if we become too attached to our own notions of ourselves.  If we are not detached from our own conceptions of ourselves, we are not opening ourselves up to God to allow ourselves to conceive what God wants to bring to birth through us.  

We can come to overvalue realizations we've had about ourselves in the midst of discernment, such that we can unwittingly let such knowledge about ourselves come to dominate us and unduly influence our decisions.  We do well to temper our self-knowledge against the backdrop of our current circumstances, in the context of where we currently find ourselves.  Right now, who are we being asked to love?  As we love our neighbor, we witness the fruits of that love in the joy we feel.  Love and joy are two signs that we are accurately discerning our vocation, which is what God is calling each of us to do.  

We do well to try to cultivate gardens of love in our hearts.  We can evaluate the health of what is growing in our hearts by means of the joy we feel.  

Thus we can check our relying too much on our self-knowledge, and we can prevent ourselves from letting it drive our actions too strongly, by looking at the love and joy in our hearts.  The love and joy in our hearts is threatened by the selfishness that our egos tend to inflict upon ourselves and on others.  We should not discard our self-knowledge, but also we should not let it control our discernment so much that we use it as an excuse to ignore what God is calling us to do right now.  

As I'd mentioned in a previous blog post, I'd come to find that I do better where there is more structure, and when I am specifically directed what to do.  Yet I've also found that we do well when we don't cling rigidly to our expectations of what we think our ministry is supposed to look like.  Yes, I do well with structure and direction; yet even though I know I have these tendencies, I don't have to be closely directed in a highly structured environment.  Yet I should be conscious of these tendencies, and let these insights influence how I structure my day.  If I am obedient to the duty of the present moment, then I can find the direction I crave by lovingly serving my neighbor when she asks me to do so.  

So, in time, I have been coming to discover that I find the direction I seek coming directly from my neighbor.  The Holy Spirit speaks to us through others.  When we love and serve our neighbor, we submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  As we embrace the duty to give lovingly what our neighbor needs right now, we obey the will of God.  

And so, submitting to the demands of the present, and obediently acquiescing to what God is asking me to do now, I find the direction I seek.  As I open my heart to give the love that my neighbor requests of me, my day becomes structured by what I find the Holy Spirit asking me, through my neighbor, to do for my neighbor.  

And so I am here.  I do not know how long I will be here.  Indefinitely I will be here.  There is no clear indication that the Holy Spirit is guiding me elsewhere.  In contrast, I feel community and connection and warmth and love with these homeless and other needy people here.  I am grateful to God that I can be with them here.  And so I embrace these lovely opportunities with these people in need right now, who are right in front of me.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Offering Fervent Prayers

Today I was relieved to see a particular homeless woman who I'll call "Anna" again here.  Anna showed up to our front porch this morning.  We went for a little walk together.  

Anna has been having a rough time.  In the last couple of weeks she has had a series of stressful interactions in which she has not been treated well, which is understating the circumstances.  

I shared with Anna about how I recently heard about some fervent prayer offered up by another Catholic Worker.  This other Catholic Worker told me that she had recently been greatly distressed about hearing of how a homeless friend of hers had been abused.  This other Catholic Worker channeled her grief into her prayer.  As she was praying the rosary, she wept as she thought of her homeless friend being abused.  In the midst of her tears, she seized upon that grief, and it catalyzed her to desperately clutch her rosary and ardently pray for both for her homeless friend as well as for those who had abused her.  

I tried to explain to Anna how I feel that when we feel we are being tested beyond our limits, it is exactly then that we are presented with our greatest opportunities to serve our neighbor.  I maintained that at such moments, we have such excellent chances to pray well because we mean it so much.  It is when we are sorely in need that we pray effectively.  

Anna told me that rather than praying to God, much of the time she just gets angry at God.  I shared with her how some of the saints struggled much with anger.  Although I didn't mention them specifically at the time, I was thinking about Saint Jerome and Saint Paul.  

I also told Anna that when I'm frustrated or tired, often I throw up my hands and tell God that I feel like I'm failing, that I'm not responding as He would like me to react in situations.  I shared with Anna how God is pleased when we talk to Him, even when we're angry.  At least then we're in contact with God.  At the time, I didn't think to mention it to Anna, but also, if we're expressing our anger to God, at least we're being honest with Him.  

Then Anna lamented that she feels that God is delighting in her misfortune.  I replied softly that God is deeply saddened when people mistreat each other.  I pointed out that God has given us our free will to do as we please; unfortunately some persons misuse their freedom by abusing their neighbor instead of loving their neighbor as themselves* as Jesus taught us to do.  I said to Anna that God does not enjoy our being mistreated, since God is love.**    

God is love, and so He loves us.  He wishes that we grow as individuals, and grow closer to Him.  We grow close to Him when we pray to Him.  When we face dire circumstances, let us pray to Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, loving Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength.***  The God who loves us infinitely works all for the good of those who love Him.****  Thus God loves us in the midst of our ordeals, and in such trials we are presented with incredible opportunities to ask Him to work wonders in and through us, if we implore Him with all we have.  Let us turn to God, open our hearts to Him, love Him, and feel His infinite love.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
** 1 John 4:8,16 
*** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
**** Romans 8:28 

Still Giving More

Yesterday my fellow Catholic Worker Susan and I went to pick up a television from a couple who had just bought a new one and were donating their old one.  We arrived at their home to discover they were also giving us a DVR and a VCR.  We explained to the couple that we would be bringing the equipment to some people who were moving into a new place.   

The wife asked what the new occupants had.  Susan explained that they had nothing.  The wife said she would also give us a lamp.  She returned with two lamps.  She also added in a mirror, with its own stand.  

Hearing of others' need, she gave, and was still giving more.  She was loving her neighbor as herself, just as Jesus instructed us to do.*  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Proclaiming Our Dependence

Today is a day when people especially think of, give thanks for, and celebrate their independence.  Here in the United States on this particular day, we celebrate the independence of our nation.  We commemorate how we declared our independence from the British.  

It is often said, and quite rightly, that we must remain vigilant to preserve our democracy and the freedom that comes with it.  Some people especially crave power, and oppress others in order to keep it.  When people abuse power by using it to mistreat others, we witness a misuse of freedom.  

When we make choices which cause us to become enslaved to anything, we misuse our freedom.  Unfortunately we can decide to use our freedom to become slaves to many things.  We become slaves to possessions, to money, to power and to prestige.  We can even become slaves to food and drink if we do not remain in right relation to it.  If we become gluttons with food and drink, we have become slaves to our own desires for excessive amounts of food and drink.  When we allow our desires to rule us, we have lost our freedom.  

If we become addicts, we have become enslaved to our desires.  If we have become addicted to drugs or gambling or sex or anything else, we are no longer free.  As addicts, our desires rule us.  

I am not only speaking about others.  I am speaking about myself and about others.  I am addicted to sugar.  I do not lightly say that I am an addict.  If I go too long without sugar, my perceptions become severely skewed.  My outlook on life becomes dismal.  

Such is the state of an addict.  For one who is addicted, being deprived is being tortured.  

Some would respond to such circumstances by demanding how God could let people devolve into such a state.  They ask how and why God could let this happen to people.  

God does not wish anyone to stray from him.  Yet God gives us our free will.  Sometimes people make decisions which harm themselves.  Yet even in the midst of such debilitating situations in which there seems to be no hope, we can use our freedom for our own good.  When we feel trapped, we can use our freedom to declare our independence from what enslaves us, by confidently proclaiming that we will steadfastly rely on God.  If we utilize our freedom to proclaim our dependence on God, God will free us from being held in chains.  

Thus in such situations of suffering, there is a profound opportunity, if we choose to open our hearts to it.  When we are faced with challenges which we cannot overcome on our own, we are to pray to God to deliver us from evil.*  If we tell God, with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, that on our own we cannot surmount the obstacles we encounter, then God will come to our aid.  When we let go of our egos, then we make the room for God to work in our souls, then we welcome God into our hearts.  Once we admit that we must have God's help, then we can begin to love Him with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.** 

When we pray in such a way, we pray with true humility.  If you truly pray, you have humility.  To the humble, God gives grace.***  With the help of God's grace, we can conquer what for us alone would be impossible.  As Jesus reminded us, everything is possible for God.****    

And so, with all credit for our success going to God, God truly is glorified.  When we admit that all glory, praise and honor is due to God, then God delivers us from evil and brings us into true life.  Amen.  

* Matthew 6:13 
** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Matthew 19:26; Luke 18:27