Hopefully Move Forward

The last year has been lovely.  God has shed His grace upon me.  Through His grace, He has empowered me to do His will.  I feel that I have done what He sent me here to do.  And so it seems that the time has come to move on from here.  

And so on January 1 I will move back to the hermitage.  I feel God is calling me back there. 

I imagine you are wondering how this conclusion intersects with my previous discernment to leave the hermitage.  

Although I did not explicitly say so, when I left the hermitage to serve poor persons, I was overwhelmingly focused on rejoining the Peace Corps.  I re-applied to the Peace Corps near the end of 2015, and in early 2016, Peace Corps informed me that they could not offer me a position.  

I applied or at least inquired with other organizations serving impoverished people abroad.  Either I didn't hear back at all, or at other times it didn't work out with those other organizations.  
Thus in time I came to realize that one reason I left the hermitage, to serve poor persons overseas, was not materializing.  I let it go, and so the path I thought I was following turned out to be taking me not as far away as I had envisioned.  

Since it started becoming clear I wouldn't be moving to another country again, I began to ponder serving poor folks here in the states.  Having been a Catholic Worker in San Jose before I moved into the hermitage,  I began to think about once again being a Catholic Worker.  

After a brief stint last summer filling in for my friends at Casa de Clara, the San Jose Catholic Worker House, I moved in here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  After not too long, I began to get to know homeless folks here in Redwood City.  I came to witness the sense of community amongst those living on the streets here.  I became much closer with them than I had ever felt with homeless folks anywhere else.  And so I have felt much fulfillment as I have served people living on the streets here.  

And yet I have gradually, steadily, increasingly felt more and more spiritually malnourished despite how I have continued the spiritual practices I deepened at the hermitage.  I read Scripture.  I attend Mass.  Yet I have consistently felt that God has been calling me back into more solitude, more silence, more stillness, more contemplation.  I have felt that God has been calling me back into the deep prayer which monastic life fosters, and then will flow whatever service to poor folks naturally, organically arises out of monastic life.  

I feel too that God has given me the grace to make vows to Him.  I know that I can make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience to Him.  If I were not to do so, I would be wasting graces God has given to me.  If you know me well, you know well that I cannot stand wasting what God has given to us.  God has given us marvelous gifts: we should not only appreciate and use well His gifts, but thank and praise and adore and glorify God who gives us such magnificent gifts.  Out of gratitude to Him, I do not wish to be the servant who buries in the ground a coin or coins he has received from his Master.*  I do not wish to be the servant who wraps up in a cloth the coin He has received from His Master.**  

I used to think that God had not empowered me to make a vow of chastity.  Perhaps I was correct.  What I do know is that at times I have prayed to God for grace, and He has given it to me.  I have recalled how Our Blessed Mother Mary told Saint Catherine of Laboure that so many people do not receive certain graces because they do not ask for them.  I have seen for myself how it is true that you can receive a grace you have not had if you but ask for it.  

And so I will be moving on with a desire to use well what God has given to me.  I wish to invest well the talents God has given me, so that I may make more,*** just as Jesus teaches us to do.  

I look forward to trying to use well the gifts God has given to me.  I face forward into the future, though parting under these circumstances is bittersweet, and not just for me.  

I think of the homeless woman who once again I'll call "Kimberly."  She has shared her pain with me, and so she and I have come to appreciate each other.  Despite her sorrow, she has expressed to me that she wants to understand my reasons for leaving, and the goals I hope to reach, so that she can better support me in my decision to leave here.  

I think too of the homeless woman who again I'll call "Anna."  As she has been considering my moving away, in the context of how she has been well aware that she must repent and do her best to sin no more, she has confidently proclaimed that at the very least, she will see me again in eternity.  

I am greatly consoled by these mature words of faith, hope and love.  I am encouraged by the spiritual growth these words of sureness convey.  I am comforted as I adjust to leaving here, knowing that such faith resides amongst those who are homeless here.  

Thus I know that I am not deluding myself when I say that I have seen homeless persons rising up here.  I can move on since I have seen real growth and progress among them.  

I am reminded that recently a certain homeless woman who I'll once again call "Jane" showed up here at the Catholic Worker House.  She had rung the doorbell, and in speaking with a Catholic Worker here, she expressed gratitude, saying, "Thank you for helping me to rise up."  Jane too has been rising up from where she had been, to a better place, proven by the gratitude she has expressed.  

I have also seen with my own eyes how a certain woman, who I'll call "Helen," has also moved forward in her life.  Helen used to be homeless.  Now she lives in her own apartment, which I have seen.  I need not doubt her progress, which is evident.  

I hear and see all this proof of rising up with my own ears and with my own eyes.  As my time here draws to a close, I am encouraged by what I hear and see.  

And so, as night has fallen today, so too the twilight of my time here as a Catholic Worker is also upon me.  Yet as this night is upon us, I am not in despair, for a new dawn is rising up in homeless friends I have made here.  This dawn I have been seeing break open in them gives me hope, a hope which stretches beyond them, into the wide community of humanity.  This hope extends beyond this lifetime, into the limitless expanse of eternity.  The fruits of this faith, hope and love will be seen in eternity.  In eternity, we will see the consequences of our faith, hope and love.  

Let us move forward in faith, hope and love now, so that we may live in love for all eternity.  Amen.  

* Matthew 25:18,25 
** Luke 19:20 
*** Matthew 25:20,23 

Find Him Helpful

This morning I was unloading boxes from the van into the Catholic Worker House.  Each time I returned to the front door it was closed, just as I had left it.  

One of these times I got to the front door and a homeless woman, who again I'll call "Anna," was there on the front porch.  Anna came over to me and asked how she could help.  I requested that she unlock the front door as I handed her the keys.  She not only did so, but once I had gone into the house, she closed the screen door behind me.  I was grateful for her help since I could not easily manage both carrying so much as well as opening and closing the door.  

By contrast, one of the other times when I was at the front door this morning, I was struggling with a stack of boxes.  Anna had left.  A couple of women who did not look homeless were on the front porch, glancing around at available donations that had been left there for anyone to take.  They did not inquire if they could help me in any way, and they departed as I was struggling with what I was handling.  

The homeless woman, the social outcast, was the one who offered me the help I needed.  We can find people willing to help us in those who are the least among us.  We can get help from Jesus in those who are the least among us.*   

* Matthew 25:40,45 

Humbly Request Prayers

The doorbell just rang.  When I opened the door, there stood a certain homeless man I'll once again call "Manuel."  He softly and gingerly inquired whether he was disturbing me.  I smiled as I assured him that he came at the right time, trying to welcome him.  He humbly asked me to pray for him.  

If people ask us to pray for them, they show they are humble.  It takes humility to request someone's prayers.  

In seeking someone else's prayers, we admit that we cannot navigate life's difficulties on our own.  When we would like another person to pray for us, we indicate that we realize that we need help in petitioning God.  

When we turn to God, we demonstrate humility.  If we are humble, we give God what is due to Him as we recognize our true relationship with Him.  Realizing that we are nothing without Him, and that we can do nothing without Him,* we are humbled before Him.  Seeing that God has given us all we have, with much gratitude, we thank Him.  Once we have humility, we become who God created us to be, and so we come to praise, glorify and adore Him.  Amen.  

* John 15:5 

Gratefully Become Ourselves

This morning I saw a particular homeless woman I'll once again call "Kimberly" here.  She announced that she has been sober for three days.  

She shared with me that when she went to be interviewed for the outpatient rehabilitation program she will soon enter, they didn't proceed with the interview because their computer system was down.  They said they'll interview her in two days.  

Immediately Kimberly expressed her contentment with the situation as she noted, "Well, then it'll be even better, since I'll have five days sobriety by then."  Rather than become disgruntled and discouraged, she chose to recognize and value the benefit of the delay.  

I am encouraged by how my dear friend Kimberly is appreciating what God is handing to her in her circumstances.  She is showing interest in being grateful to God for what He is giving to her.  

When we are grateful to God, then we thank God.  If we thank God, we are recognizing His love.  

As we realize that God is love,* we can come to adore God.  Coming to see that God is, we can praise God since He is.  

As we thank God, as we adore Him, as we praise Him, as we glorify Him, we become who God created us to be.  When we thank and adore and glorify and praise God, we become our true selves.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 

Recognize Afflicting Blessings

If we are wise, we can recognize the blessings in our afflictions.  If we truly are grateful to God, we thank Him for the adversity we face as well as the comfort we receive.  As we embrace those who are different from us, we are positioning ourselves to learn from them.  If we have faith in God, we welcome all God sends us.  If we have faith, we are saved.  

We are reminded of these truths in today's Gospel reading for Thanksgiving Day.  There we hear that 

As Jesus continued his journey to Jerusalem,
he traveled through Samaria and Galilee.
As he was entering a village, ten persons with leprosy met him.
They stood at a distance from him and raised their voices, saying,
"Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!"
And when he saw them, he said,
"Go show yourselves to the priests."
As they were going they were cleansed. 
And one of them, realizing he had been healed,
returned, glorifying God in a loud voice;
and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. 
He was a Samaritan.
Jesus said in reply,
"Ten were cleansed, were they not?
Where are the other nine? 
Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?" 
Then he said to him, "Stand up and go;
your faith has saved you."*  

These lepers may have anticipated that the apparent misfortune of their leprosy would provide the vehicle through which God would be glorified in them.  In their anguish, they cried out to Jesus to have pity on them.  Jesus, full of compassion and love for others, cured them.  The returning man recognized that God had had mercy on him, so he went back to Jesus, giving the glory and praise and honor due to God.  When we are suffering from what would usually be viewed as a malady, we can thank God for the apparently ill fortune which has befallen us, if we consider that our dilemma provides an avenue through which God can be glorified.  In our pain, we can capitalize on the excellent opportunity to earnestly call out to God to deliver us from what afflicts us.  God likes to hear us offer up ardent prayers to Him.  God hears and responds to fervent prayers.  Then when God saves us from what torments us, all the glory is due to God.  We can thank God not only for being delivered from agony, but also, realizing that trials supply opportunities for God to be glorified, we can also thank God for tribulations.  

At times we are well instructed in thanking and praising and glorifying God by those who are different from us.  The one leper who returned to thank God was a Samaritan.  Normally Jews did not associate with Samaritans.**  The foreigner demonstrated well the need to give thanks to God.  If we dismiss those who are unlike us, we run the risk of refusing to learn from them.  People dissimilar to us may have much important to teach us.  

The Samaritan, the excluded one, was saved by his faith.  Although he was a social outcast, he had the gift of faith from God.  Through that faith, he was saved.  

When we have faith, we welcome the apparent misfortune God sends us as well as the comfort He gives to us.  Having faith, and being cured, we thank God not only for the relief but also for the affliction.  With faith, we welcome into our hearts people who are not like us, aware that they can teach us since we are open to what they have to say.  Being so receptive through our faith, we are saved.  Amen.  

*  Luke 17:11-19
** John 4:9 

Know Patient Love

How do we know God is love*?  God loves because God gives.  God gives us Himself.  

God sent His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not perish but may have eternal life.**  His only Son Jesus did not cling to equality with God; rather, Jesus loved us so much He emptied Himself, humbling Himself by becoming human,*** submitting in total obedience to the will of His Heavenly Father.  Jesus humbled Himself even further, living in poverty and eating with social outcasts to bring them The Word that would save them.  Jesus humbled Himself yet further in order to save us, giving Himself up to death, and even more strikingly, death on the Cross.****  

Even though God has given us so much, with ingratitude we do not turn to God.  Yet God is patient with us, since God is love, and love is patient.*****  

When we realize that God has given us so much and that we appreciate God's blessings so little, yet that God is still patient with us, we can come to see that God loves us.  God patiently waits for us.  Turn to God, and know love.  Amen.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 
** John 3:16 
*** Philippians 2:6-7 
**** Philippians 2:8 
***** 1 Corinthians 13:4 

Gratefully Humbly Listen

Yesterday I spoke with a particular homeless woman who once again I'll call "Anna."  Anna told me that we do well to be attentive to the many blessings God bestows upon us.  She described how we receive many blessings from God, so we ought consciously to express gratitude for these new blessings which arise so often in our lives.  

As I have previously related, Anna is not only homeless, but is addicted to methamphetamines.  It is so easy to conclude mistakenly from our neighbor's mistakes that we have nothing to learn from our neighbor.  If we judge our neighbor, we are deciding not to learn from our neighbor.  

In deciding not to listen to our neighbor, we are closing ourselves off to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who speaks to us through our neighbor.  We hear echoes of saints as our neighbor speaks to us.  

Saint Ignatius of Loyola prescribed that persons perform an examen at the end of each day in which they look back at their day and recall the many blessings from God over the course of the day.  Upon reviewing the numerous blessings from God during the day, we then give thanks to God and we praise God for so abundantly blessing us.  

When we are grateful to God, we become more conscious of how much He blesses us.  As we become more grateful to God, we become receptive to how He seeks to teach us in unexpected ways and through people who we would otherwise shun.  

As we open our hearts to those amongst us who are despised, we open our hearts to Jesus.  In how we react to those among us who are marginalized, so we treat Jesus.*  

If we refuse to hear what our reviled neighbor has to say, we may be rejecting saintly advice.  One who is maligned may very well be speaking the words of a saint without our realizing it.  

Everyday we are presented with wisdom as we go about our day.  If we are humble, we can learn from our neighbor.  

If we love our neighbor, we can learn from our neighbor.  God seeks to teach us through our neighbor.  

When we listen to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,** since we would like others to listen to us.  Let us listen to each other, and thus learn from each other, and thus love each other.  Amen.  

* Matthew 25:40,45 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Joyfully Thank Always

This morning a friend of ours came here to the Catholic Worker House.  Here I'll call him "Stan." Stan is homeless and suffers from various ailments.  He moves very slowly; it seems like one might be overstating his degree of mobility if one were to say that he hobbles along.  On his legs and his fingers, his skin has become scaly and is peeling off in large flakes.  This morning, it was clear that his sores had broken open and were bleeding.  

Despite his misfortune, at one point this morning, Stan proclaimed, "The Lord is good."  Stan could lament his medical condition, but instead he chooses to give glory to God.  In the midst of his discomfort, Stan praises and adores and glorifies God for His great goodness.  

Amidst suffering, just as during times of ease and comfort, we are to give thanks to God.  Knowing that God is good, we are to be joyful always, pray constantly, and for all things give thanks.*  

I am reminded and am told that we must do so by the suffering homeless man who shows up at my doorstep.  Jesus, in the impoverished individuals** in front of us, comes to us to continue to teach us how to love God with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.***  

As we open our hearts to the poor persons who are before us, we open our hearts to God.  When we truly see the impoverished man in front of us, we recognize Jesus here with us.****  As we welcome the homeless person here with us into our hearts, we welcome Jesus into our hearts.  

As we welcome God into our hearts, we see that God is infinitely good.  When we realize that the Lord is good, we give thanks always.  We never stop expressing gratitude to God once we see that God infinitely loves us.  

When we recognize that God is love,***** we welcome the truth that God loves us always.  Aware that God loves us infinitely, we rejoice at all times.  Ever joyful, we give thanks for all things.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 
** Matthew 25:40,45 
*** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
**** Matthew 28:20 
***** 1 John 4:8,16 

Always Joyfully Thanking

Today in front of the Catholic Worker House arrived a homeless woman who here I'll call "Janice."  She was moving slowly.  She noted how her hair was so knotted that she couldn't run her fingers through it.  Janice was wearing dirty clothes.  

Janice told my fellow Catholic Worker Susan and me of how she has been mistreated.  She has been beaten; she has been falsely accused of speaking with profanity; at times she has returned to the cart she uses only to find some of her items missing.  

Janice began crying as she spoke to me, under the stress she feels over her plight.  Yet she was quick to add that she knows that God loves her.  Aware that God loves her, steadfastly affirming and proclaiming this truth even in the face of being abused, she is set to give thanks to God always for all things.*  When we keep in mind that God loves us, we are joyful always,** no matter what happens.     

If we realize that God's love is infinite and thus is immeasurably more immense than how we love, we begin to see reality.  If we accurately perceive who we are, that we are nothing without the help of God, and who God is, that He always has been, is and ever shall be, we are humbled.  If we allow ourselves to be humbled, we open our hearts to the grace of God, for God gives grace to the humble.***  

By the grace of God, we become empowered to weather whatever storm befalls us.  Aware that God loves us and works all to our good if we love Him,**** we rejoice that God is always seeking our good.  

As we realize that God wishes the best for us since God is love,***** we can come to give thanks to God for all things.  As we become more conscious of the vastness of God's love, we become more joyful, becoming joyful always.  

With the love of God, being grateful and joyful always, we view all that happens in a new light.  We come to view occasions of suffering not as misfortune, but as opportunities to draw closer to God if we capitalize on such gifts as chances to more deeply thank God.  

So often we angrily discard such invitations from God to enter into deeper, more profound communion with Him.  Yet today I was instructed in this challenging endeavor by Janice, who is homeless.  Jesus told us that we find Him in those who are the least among us.******  Jesus comes to us in those who are poor and downtrodden.  He still comes to us, trying to keep instructing us.  

Often we find Jesus' teachings too much to bear.  If we try alone to carry the load of what He asks of us, we will find it to be too heavy.  For humans some things are impossible, but nothing is impossible for God.*******  With the help of Jesus, the yoke becomes easy and the burden light.********  If we turn to Jesus, and remain in Him,********* through His presence we will be thankful for all things and will be always joyful.  

If we pay attention to the poor person in front of us, we are paying heed to Jesus.  We can find Jesus right in front of us, instructing us.  We have opportunities to learn about suffering from the homeless person before us.  From her we can learn how to give thanks to God when we encounter hardships and to be joyful in the midst of adversity.  

From a homeless woman who has let herself be humbled, we can learn valuable lessons on how to become much more than we have been: those who become humble receive the grace of God, and with this transformative power they endure formidable storms, glorifying God through the strength they receive from Him.  Thus it is to the glory of God that those who humble themselves are raised up.**********  

Let us open our eyes to those before us, open our hearts to our neighbor, and thus open our hearts to the love of God.  As we open our hearts to love, joy abounds in our souls.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
** 1 Thessalonians 5:16 
*** 1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6 
**** Romans 8:28 
***** 1 John 4:8,16
****** Matthew 25:40,45
******* Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37
******** Matthew 11:30 
********* John 15:4,6,7,9,10
********** Matthew 23:12; Luke 14:11; Luke 18:14

Truly Loving Life

If we sow love, we reap joy.  Our friends bring us joy as they love us.  We bring each other joy as we let God love others through us.  

When we reach the final stretch of our lives, we can look back on our lives either sorrowful or rejoicing.  Thus we do well to imagine, much like Saint Ignatius of Loyola suggests, being near the end of our life and looking back on the choices we are making today.  We can envision on how we will feel in the last days of our lives about the decisions we are making today.  

Similarly, we can find consolation at the end of a friend’s life if we consider what kind of life our friend has lived.  At the end of our friend’s life, we can look back on his life and feel joy at the love he has chosen to be manifested in his life.  In focusing on the love we have received from our friend, we can feel gratitude for the gifts God has given us through our friend.  Thus as a friend’s life draws to an end, we can celebrate, out of deep gratitude and appreciation for the numerous gifts God has given us through our friend who is about to move onward.  

We can realize that death is an opportunity to be transformed.  Certainly we mourn the passing of our friends.  Yet as we weep, we implicitly admit we have received the gift of love from God through our neighbor.  

Thus in the midst of pain and suffering, we are presented with opportunities to thank God for the love we have felt.  Even amidst anguish and torment, we are given chances to be grateful to God.  

Certainly we are deeply disturbed when those who witness to the truth suffer.  Yet in their witness to the truth, in how they have lived their lives, they have encouraged us, and have helped us to feel the joy which comes from loving and from welcoming the truth into our hearts.  

And so on this particular date on the liturgical calendar in the Catholic Church we feel distressed as well as encouraged.  Today in the Catholic Church we especially recall the death of Saint John the Baptist.  Saint John the Baptist had lived a life of witnessing to the truth.  He had heralded the coming of Jesus,* who is The Truth.**  Saint John the Baptist had encouraged people to reform their lives,*** and so welcome The Truth, The Word that Jesus was speaking and living.  Saint John the Baptist was also not afraid to proclaim the truth to those in power.  He had told King Herod that it was wrong for him to be with Herodias, who was his brother’s wife.  Since Herodias did not want to hear that moral truth, she told her daughter Salome to ask King Herod for the head of Saint John the Baptist on a plate, which Salome requested.  Saint John the Baptist was beheaded for witnessing to the truth.****    

I am disturbed when I go back and read of how Saint John the Baptist was decapitated for proclaiming the truth to a leader.  Yet death need not be reason only for sadness.  When someone dies for declaring the truth, such a person has lit a candle of truth.  When a person dies, the statement of the truth of the person’s life has been made.  Life may have departed from that body, but the statement of truth which that person has made, and the expression of love which that person has lived, cannot be extinguished.  The truth and the love that person has shown lives on in our hearts.  

And so, in the face of impending death, we are led to consider a profound question: what kind of a life has someone lived?  As this life ends, we are faced with the question of how the gift of life from God has been used by the person who is going to meet God who gave the person that life.    

In considering the type of life that Saint John the Baptist lived, we see that he witnessed to the truth.  He fiercely loved the truth.  He loved the truth more than his own life.  He was not afraid to proclaim the truth, and he was thrown in prison for doing so,***** and then murdered for doing so.  He kept witnessing to the truth all the way to the end of his life, and witnessed to the truth even at the cost of his own life.  

Although probably we will not be imprisoned or executed for stating the truth, nevertheless we are presented with opportunities to speak the truth tenaciously and to love fiercely, not capitulating to temptations to despair.  I have been blessed with a marvelous model who has demonstrated loyalty to the truth and to the love inherent in the truth.  I have written before of my older friend who I address as “Uncle.”  Through his words and actions, he has stayed on the course God has laid out before him, witnessing to the truth of who and what God has called him to be.  I have written before of how Uncle had a stroke nearly a year ago.  For almost a year, Uncle has been unable to move as he used to move, and has not been able to speak.  Yet he has patiently stayed the course laid out before him.  He has continued to demonstrate the truth of how God calls us to face the challenges which unfold in our lives.  Uncle has bravely endured the suffering he has felt, doing as God calls him to do until death.  

He has kept showing his family how to encounter challenges they face.  I think of someone I know who has suffered multiple major setbacks over the course of the year which has just passed.  If Uncle could speak, perhaps he would say to this other courageous soul, “I am right here with you, suffering along with you.  You and I are sharing pain together.”  Uncle has been encouraging others around him.  He has been demonstrating to them how to persist in the face of adversity.  To the end, Uncle is embracing the task of teaching his family and friends how to welcome the duty of this present moment, as Jean-Pierre de Caussade described.  All the way to the end, Uncle is showing those he loves how to love, by embracing the duty set before him.  

If our nearly departed friend has lived loving God and his neighbor, at the end of our friend’s life, we can rejoice with our friend, grateful for the love God has shown us through our friend.  Looking back on choices well made, through which a person has witnessed to the truth that we are called to love God and our neighbor in every little choice we make in every moment, then we feel the joy that loving others brings to us and to others.  

When we welcome this duty which God sets before us, we welcome God into our hearts.  As we welcome God into our hearts, we welcome love into our hearts.  Opening our hearts to God, God fills us with the love we need to do His will.******  Filled with the love of God, we are enabled through His grace to carry out His will.  Overflowing with the love of God, we can witness to the truth, no matter what the cost.  Empowered with His grace, we can endure whatever hardships we encounter.  With the love of God, we can suffer through our own torment so as to help others weather their own storms.  Through the love of God, we can love as God has loved us.  Amen.  

* Matthew 3:11; Mark 1:7; Luke 3:16; John 1:26-27

** John 14:6 

*** Matthew 3:1-2,8; Mark 1:4; Luke 3:3,8 

**** Matthew 14:3-10; Mark 6:17-28; Luke 3:19

***** Matthew 14:3; Mark 6:17; Luke 3:19-20 
****** Romans 5:5 

Blessed With Faith

To have faith is to be blessed.  You are blessed when you have the gift of faith from God, for you are not relying on yourself.  With faith, you become more than yourself.  If you are moved by faith, you trust in God.  As faith lives in you, God breathes in you and speaks through you.  If you have faith, although God has already tremendously blessed you, God gives still more by using your faith to reshape the world.  

Today as we celebrate the Solemnity of the Assumption of The Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven, we are reminded how God rewards those with faith.  In today's Gospel reading, we hear of such faith and how those with faith are so blessed.  There we hear that 

Mary set out
and traveled to the hill country in haste
to a town of Judah,
where she entered the house of Zechariah
and greeted Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting,
the infant leaped in her womb,
and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit,
cried out in a loud voice and said,
"Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb.
And how does this happen to me,
that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears,
the infant in my womb leaped for joy.
Blessed are you who believed
that what was spoken to you by the Lord
would be fulfilled."

And Mary said:

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
and has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever."

Mary remained with her about three months
and then returned to her home.*  

Saint Elizabeth said to Our Blessed Mother Mary, "Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled."  Our Blessed Mother Mary believed what the angel Gabriel had told her, that through the power of the Holy Spirit she would conceive and bear The Son who would save His people from their sins.**  She had faith that the promise made to her would be fulfilled.  Our Blessed Mother Mary is so blessed because God gave her a gift of great faith.  

And so Saint Elizabeth said to Our Blessed Mother Mary, "Blessed are you among women."  And so Catholics praying the rosary proclaim to Our Blessed Mother, "Blessed are you among women."  

Catholics pray the rosary because Our Blessed Mother is such an effective intercessor.  We have such an effective advocate in Our Blessed Mother because she prays for us with great faith.  Faith is power.  Through faith, we are empowered to do the will of God.  With faith, we can confidently pray, believing that our petitions according to the will of God will be granted.  Our Blessed Mother desired the will of God, so filled with faith she was.  Our Blessed Mother comes so efficiently to our aid, interceding with her Son Jesus because of her abounding faith.  

We can be considerably comforted to remember the power of faith.  When events in the world appear to go awry, and when circumstances in our personal lives seem amiss, through our faith we can call upon great power in our prayer when we might mistakenly believe we are lost.  When Our Blessed Mother Mary appeared to Saint Francisco, Saint Jacinta and Servant of God Lucia at Fatima in Portugal in 1917, she told them to pray the rosary for world peace.  We can achieve peace through prayer.  Faith brings peace in hearts by leading to dependence on God.  Through the power of faith, prayer can bring peace in the world.  

If we recognize that God has given us a gift by giving us faith, it follows that we are to accept this gift and use it well.  In gratitude to God, we can offer this faith to Him through our prayer.  In response to our prayer, God transforms the world.  When we accept the invitation from God to let Him transform the world through us, we are blessed that He uses us as vessels of change.  Like Our Blessed Mother Mary, if we welcome the gift of faith that God seeks to give us, we too can be instruments of the change God seeks to work in the world.  Let us welcome the gift of faith from God, and so allow the world to be transformed.  Amen.  

* Luke 1:39-56 
** Luke 1:31-35

Clarity About Love

We are all called to have clarity about love.  We are to order properly our love.  

In a foundational way, we are to love ourselves.  As a prerequisite to loving others, we must love ourselves.  If we do not love ourselves, we cannot love others.  When we love ourselves, then we can love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus instructed us to do.  

When we love ourselves, we are grateful to God.  Loving ourselves, we thank God that He made us. First and foremost, we are called to love God with all our heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength.**  

In relation with people, we stand on a solid foundation if we love ourselves.  Loving ourselves, we are equipped to love others.  

We are to love our families.  We are to honor our father and our mother.***  

We are to love not only our friends, but we are to expand our horizons and love our enemies.****  Giving love in response to those who mistreat us, we can convert our enemies by so afflicting their consciences that it is as if we are heaping hot coals upon their heads.*****  

Confronting hate, if we react with hate, we become what we hate.  If we hate, we become hate.  

Encountering hate, if we reply with love, we become what we love.  If we love, we become love.  

God is love,****** and so God loves us.  Do we love God?  If we love, we welcome God into our hearts.  If we love, we embrace God.  Let us love, and turn to God, and embrace Him.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27  
*** Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3; Matthew 15:4; Ephesians 6:2
**** Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27 
***** Proverbs 25:21-22; Romans 12:20
****** 1 John 4:8,16 

Waste Not Tears

We are all faced over and over with the decision of whether or not we will love.  We all choose our relationship with pain.  We all decide whether we embrace suffering or reject it.  In what we accept or deny, we determine whether or not we love.  

We can cry out of hopeless desperation, feeling frantic, and convinced that all is lost.  Or we can profoundly weep out of great love for others.  

We can let tears fall from our eyes without realizing their value.  Or we can weep offering our tears as prayers to God.  

All we send out from our being echoes out into the universe.  As a tear falls from your eye, if you offer it as a humble prayer to God, when it drops into the liquid lake of spiritual solidarity we share, you can implicitly offer that tear to help others.  Your tearful prayers are effective when they are offered as the basis of humble and earnest prayer.  When such humble, ardent tears of yours hit the liquid lake of spiritual community we share, these tears send out ripples of love across that surface.  Thus through such tears you can seek to strengthen your spiritual brothers and sisters.  

I am not merely speaking in theoretical terms here.  Ever since earlier this week, when a dear homeless friend who I'll once again here call "Sally" shared with me how she views tears as liquid prayers, her statement of spiritual insight has been echoing in my soul.  Like a drop of water that falls into a pond and causes ripples outward, so her tender spiritual musing, coming into contact with my ears, has been echoing in my soul.  
Despite the struggle, Sally has chosen not to let her agonizing experiences dominate how she responds to life.  As I have mentioned in prior blog posts, Sally has endured domestic violence.  Despite having been hit hard many times by multiple men, Sally refuses to be enslaved by the pain she has felt.  Instead she offers up her tears to God.  Interwoven with her sensitivity and fragility, she also displays a courageous and admirable tenacity, and so she sends out a strong message of faith, hope and love, that pain can be the basis of a beautiful transformation of one's spirit.   

Knowing, then, that we can consent to our suffering being transformed into the joy that emerges out of service of others, we can come to experience a radical alteration of how we feel pain, see pain, and respond to pain.  Aware that God works all for the good of those who love Him,* we come to realize that even anguish can lead to joy, if we seize upon such opportunities to petition God.  Thus in all we experience we can be joyous,** if all we do is for the praise, glory and honor of God.  

Conscious that all we experience presents us chances to glorify God by assenting to call upon Him so He may show us His great love always, we come to give thanks always for all things.***  As we come to express such gratitude at all times, God comes to give us a deep, abiding and enduring peace, as, feeling His love, Jesus comes to abide in us, and we in Him.****  

Let us embrace every opportunity we have, then, including in the midst of our tears, to pray constantly,***** give thanks for all things always, and thus love God and love our neighbor.  Thus we come to live a life of love.  Amen.  

* Romans 8:28 
** 1 Thessalonians 5:16 
*** 1 Thessalonians 5:18 
**** John 15:4-7,9-10
***** 1 Thessalonians 5:17 

Trying To Help

Yesterday we received a huge amount of clothes donated on our front porch here at the Catholic Worker House.  Jesse, one of the homeless folks who comes here to the house to receive services, was helping us to sort and bag the clothes.  We hadn't asked him for his assistance; he just started aiding us on his own initiative.  

I expressed my gratitude to him for helping my fellow Catholic Worker Susan and me.  He replied that he was just trying to do right by God and by his neighbor.  

I responded something like, "Those are the two most important things to do in life.  If you've got those as priorities, it's not like you're never going to have problems, but you'll have real peace."  

Thanking God Always

Today three different times I saw a particular homeless woman I know who once again here I'll call "Anna."  The first two times I saw Anna, she seemed stressed and out of sorts.  She also appeared to be sweaty, which made sense, since it was rather hot here in Redwood City today.  

The third and final time I saw Anna today, she seemed much more composed and collected.  During the course of our conversation, she shared that she had taken a shower.  I've noticed that when Anna has recently had a shower, she appears calmer, and much less likely to be agitated.  

We all have our weak points.  Sometimes if I haven't eaten, I can become quite cranky, as some people well know.  Apparently when Anna has felt hot and sweaty, understandably she becomes considerably uncomfortable, but then she feels the relaxation she has been seeking if she takes a shower.  

So often it can be so easy to take these little comforts for granted.  When we realize that not everyone can eat or drink or shower or sleep comfortably when they want, then we can come to give thanks to God for all things.*  When we come to see everything as the gift from God which it truly is, then we express the gratitude to God which we owe to Him.  With grateful hearts, we are brought into proper relationship with God.  Amen.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

Presently Loving Others

It turns out I'm going to stay here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House.  A few months ago the other Catholic Workers here told me they'd been more pleased with my work than when we'd previously spoken months earlier about my work and about whether or not I'd stay here.  Consequently, they said I could keep living and working here long-term.  

Larry, who founded the Redwood City Catholic Worker House dozens of years ago, wondered if I'd been throwing myself more into the work simply because I'd become more comfortable and because I had relaxed.  In our work, we pick up donations, including of food and clothing and toiletries, and people come here to the Catholic Worker House and get what they need.  Apparently I have been immersing myself more in this work, although I haven't been aware of any change in myself.  

Susan noted how I've been connecting with homeless folks and other persons who are especially in need here in Redwood City.  She talked about how homeless folks come to our front porch to get items that are donated and left there, and how they know me.  

Both Larry and Susan were receptive to my continuing to live and work here at the Catholic Worker House.  They expressed how they felt it could be beneficial if I were to stay.  

I've felt and heard the gratitude my homeless friends and my other impoverished friends have shown to us Catholic Workers here.  I enjoy when they give thanks, and I feel their thankfulness is a reward, but their gratitude is not the reason I do this work.  We are to serve our neighbor because we are to love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus has instructed us to do.  

In the love I feel for them, and in their appreciation of our presence and our ministry, I find indications that love is blooming in their hearts.  Love can bloom in our hearts if we welcome every little chance we get to plant little seeds of love in our lives.  Saint Therese of Lisieux was named The Little Flower, for she had this little way of doing little loving acts for others.  In the little acts of love we can strive to perform for others, and in joyous gestures of thanks people give us in return, we can see the fruits of love flowering out of the little seeds of love that have been planted in each others' hearts.  

And so I cannot help but suspect that I am where God wishes me to be.  God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  Thus the Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade counsels us to open our hearts to what we are being called to do in the present.  Indeed, when you embrace the duty of the present moment, and love your neighbor who is right in front of you, you please God.  

Sometimes in various ways we can find surprising this duty that has been placed in front of us.  We can become blinded to what God is asking us to do if we become too attached to our own notions of ourselves.  If we are not detached from our own conceptions of ourselves, we are not opening ourselves up to God to allow ourselves to conceive what God wants to bring to birth through us.  

We can come to overvalue realizations we've had about ourselves in the midst of discernment, such that we can unwittingly let such knowledge about ourselves come to dominate us and unduly influence our decisions.  We do well to temper our self-knowledge against the backdrop of our current circumstances, in the context of where we currently find ourselves.  Right now, who are we being asked to love?  As we love our neighbor, we witness the fruits of that love in the joy we feel.  Love and joy are two signs that we are accurately discerning our vocation, which is what God is calling each of us to do.  

We do well to try to cultivate gardens of love in our hearts.  We can evaluate the health of what is growing in our hearts by means of the joy we feel.  

Thus we can check our relying too much on our self-knowledge, and we can prevent ourselves from letting it drive our actions too strongly, by looking at the love and joy in our hearts.  The love and joy in our hearts is threatened by the selfishness that our egos tend to inflict upon ourselves and on others.  We should not discard our self-knowledge, but also we should not let it control our discernment so much that we use it as an excuse to ignore what God is calling us to do right now.  

As I'd mentioned in a previous blog post, I'd come to find that I do better where there is more structure, and when I am specifically directed what to do.  Yet I've also found that we do well when we don't cling rigidly to our expectations of what we think our ministry is supposed to look like.  Yes, I do well with structure and direction; yet even though I know I have these tendencies, I don't have to be closely directed in a highly structured environment.  Yet I should be conscious of these tendencies, and let these insights influence how I structure my day.  If I am obedient to the duty of the present moment, then I can find the direction I crave by lovingly serving my neighbor when she asks me to do so.  

So, in time, I have been coming to discover that I find the direction I seek coming directly from my neighbor.  The Holy Spirit speaks to us through others.  When we love and serve our neighbor, we submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  As we embrace the duty to give lovingly what our neighbor needs right now, we obey the will of God.  

And so, submitting to the demands of the present, and obediently acquiescing to what God is asking me to do now, I find the direction I seek.  As I open my heart to give the love that my neighbor requests of me, my day becomes structured by what I find the Holy Spirit asking me, through my neighbor, to do for my neighbor.  

And so I am here.  I do not know how long I will be here.  Indefinitely I will be here.  There is no clear indication that the Holy Spirit is guiding me elsewhere.  In contrast, I feel community and connection and warmth and love with these homeless and other needy people here.  I am grateful to God that I can be with them here.  And so I embrace these lovely opportunities with these people in need right now, who are right in front of me.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Returning Transformed Neighbor

If we keep on loving our neighbor, the little seed of love in the heart of our neighbor can bear much fruit.  With patience, kindness and understanding, we can come to witness the transformative power of the love of God.  As Jesus comes to us and abides in us,* the love of God can come to transform our neighbor before our very eyes.  Thus in time, our faith can be strengthened, and we can come to trust in God ever more deeply.  As we trust in God and open our hearts to Him, we consent to Him loving our neighbor through us.  

I have been reminded today of these truths.  Today a particular young man who has been homeless showed up here at the Catholic Worker House.  He asked me to tell my fellow Catholic Worker Susan that he is grateful for all of the help she has given to him over the last several months.  

I've previously mentioned this particular fellow.  Once again I'll call him "Brendon."  

In a prior post I'd written of how Brendon admitted that he needed to stop taking drugs.  In another blog entry, I'd related how Brendon had been trying to enter a drug treatment program.  Today he told me that he has been in a drug rehab program.  I saw the obvious results of how he has been taking care of himself and loving himself: he seemed full of life, vibrant, eager, attentive, considerate, respectful and grateful.  He seemed focused on those around him who were listening to him and offering to help him.  

Brendon explained that in about a week, he will be moving back east.  He quickly added that to reach his destination, he needed a bus ticket which would cost between one hundred and two hundred dollars.  As he was talking about the cost of the bus ticket, someone on the front porch of the Catholic Worker House heard him and offered to help to defray the cost of his trip.  The impoverished young man had appealed for help, and he got it.  

Jesus tells us that whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.**  Jesus is in the homeless people and the other poor men and women who plead with us for help.  Who am I, that my Lord and my God comes to my doorstep?***  Jesus comes to us in those who are impoverished, who come to our door, then go away, not to be seen for weeks, and then come back.  Jesus goes away, and a short while later, He returns to us.****  Jesus shows me that He is with us always.*****  Jesus shows me that He calls us to take care of each other, especially the poor, for Jesus is in our neighbor, and especially in the impoverished.  

In coming to me in the poor young man who knocks at my door, Jesus nurtures my faith, for He keeps His promise and He comes to me.  Jesus comes to make sure I am practicing the law of love.  Jesus comes up to me to make sure I am loving Him in my neighbor.  

Seeing Jesus come to us, then we can pray confidently to Him.  We can be sure of the hope we have in His promise, for we have seen that He has not left us alone; He has come to us.******  Knowing that we have not been abandoned, seeing the proof of His transformative power that has been demonstrated in our neighbor being healed, we come to trust in God.   

When we truly have faith in God, then we come to see that God is always calling us back home to Him.  If we utterly trust in God, we realize that God is always welcoming us back home to Him with open arms.  Grasping that God is always offering us His warm loving embrace in all that happens to us, we welcome Him into our hearts.  Empowered with the love of God, God transforms us, and we are healed, and we become who God has always intended us to be.  Loving ourselves, loving our neighbor, and loving God, we become the love of God in the world.  Amen.  

* John 15:7, 9 
** Matthew 25:40 
*** Luke 1:43 
**** John 16:16-17, 19 
***** Matthew 28:20 
****** John 14:18