Listen With Love

Here at the hermitage where I am currently on retreat, every night after Vespers, for half an hour the Blessed Sacrament is on the altar in the church.  The monks welcome guests to join them in Eucharistic Adoration.  

Tonight during Eucharistic Adoration, as is typically the case, the lights were off.  Also as usual, near the Eucharist on the altar, three very short candles were burning.  

As I sat gazing at the Blessed Sacrament, I recalled how, earlier this week, I had heard a needy man, who I'll again call "Manuel," recite part of a poem he had written.  From memory as he retold the poem, he spoke of how he would not be ashamed of the sacrifice Jesus had made for him.  In the poem, he explained how he would not be ashamed of the body and the blood of Christ, for in it rests his salvation.*  

I was implicitly encouraged to welcome Jesus Christ into my heart as I heard Manuel recite his poem.  While Manuel does not always speak so poetically, nor does he always act so gracefully, nevertheless he sits before me as one from whom I can learn.  

Recently Manuel was chastised for allegedly attempting to conduct a drug deal in a public space.  Later that evening, apparently agitated over how he had been chided, Manuel was yelling in the road that if he felt like screaming in the street, then he would scream in the street.  

From his unsavory actions, one could quickly conclude that one has nothing to learn from him.  We can jump to the conclusion that we have nothing to learn from drug dealers and drug addicts.  Or we can recognize the truth that even drug dealers and drug addicts can teach us, if we are willing to listen to them.  

Jesus speaks to us through those who are maligned.  In how we react to those who are social outcasts, so we reply to Jesus.  Whatever we do to those who are the least among us, we do to Jesus.**  If we ignore those who are marginalized in our society, we turn our backs on Jesus.  

Everyday we are confronted with the choice of how we will respond when we meet Jesus in the poor person in front of us.  If we shut our ears and avert our eyes from the indigent person before us, we shut out Jesus.  Yet Jesus advised that those who have ears to hear should listen.***  

In the end, Jesus calls us to love.  We love our neighbor when we listen to our neighbor.  We are able to listen to our neighbor when we do not judge our neighbor.  If we choose not to judge our neighbor, then we can forgive our neighbor, and welcoming him into our hearts, we can listen to what he has to tell us.  

The Holy Spirit speaks to us through our neighbor.  The Holy Spirit, in our neighbor, invites us to open our hearts to Jesus.  There, in our neighbor, we find Jesus, inviting us to welcome Him into our hearts.  If we wish to welcome Jesus into our hearts, let us love our neighbor by not judging our neighbor, by forgiving our neighbor, and by listening to our neighbor.  Amen.  

* Romans 1:16 
** Matthew 25:40,45
*** Matthew 11:15; Matthew 13:9; Mark 4:9; Revelation 2:7,29 

Hear And Keep

Those who hear God's Word and who do it are blessed.  Persons who accept what they are called to do in each and every moment are blessed.  We are reminded of these truths in today's Gospel, where we hear that 

It happened that as Jesus was speaking, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said, "Blessed the womb that bore You and the breasts that fed You!"  But He replied, "More blessed still are those who hear The Word of God and keep it!"*  

As Saint Augustine has noted, Our Blessed Mother Mary is blessed moreso because she heard The Word of God and kept it, rather than just because she carried Jesus in Her womb.  Our Blessed Mother Mary assented to the will of God that she would conceive through the power of the Holy Spirit, and bear the Son whom she would name Jesus.  In response to the angel Gabriel informing her that this would come to pass, she declared to the angel Gabriel, "Let it happen to me as you have said."**  Our Blessed Mother Mary heard The Word she was to bear, and welcomed Him into her womb, and, more deeply, into her heart.  She was so blessed because she heard the will of God and acquiesced to it.  

In how she lived her life while she walked on this earth, Our Blessed Mother Mary gave us a hint of the message she would come back to give in her apparitions to Saint Jacinta, Saint Francisco, and Servant of God Lucia.  When she appeared to these peasant children in Fatima, Portugal in 1917, she told them that we are called to pray much and make sacrifices, since many souls go to Hell since they have no one to pray for them.  Later Jesus told Lucia that the sacrifices demanded of each of us are the performance of the duties of our state in life.  

In our lives, we are constantly called to do our duties.  As the author of "The Cloud Of Unknowing" notes, we will be called to account for every fraction of time that has been given to us.  We are always being called to attend to the duty of the present moment, as the Jesuit priest Jean-Pierre de Caussade described.  In every little moment, we can make little sacrifices of love of our neighbor, as Saint Therese of Lisieux demonstrated.  

In each little instant of time, the duty of the present moment calls us to perform little acts of love for our neighbor.  Where each one of us happens to be, there we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves, just as Jesus taught us to do.***  Wherever each of us finds ourselves, there we are to love others and thus do the will of God, just as the situation calls us to do.  

For Our Blessed Mother Mary, in the moment when the angel Gabriel announced to her that she would bear the Son whom she would name Jesus, her duty was to give her consent to bear the Son of God in her womb.  In accepting the duty presented to her, she accepted the Son of God not only into her womb, but also into her heart.  She heard The Word proclaimed to her, that she would bear Jesus, and she accepted This Word and carried The Word out.  She was so blessed since she heard The Word of God and submitted to it.  

Those who obey the will of God are blessed.  People who hear The Word of God, and who do what The Word calls them to do, are blessed.  If you wish to be blessed, do what the state of your life calls you to do.  Amen.  

* Luke 11:27-28 
** Luke 1:31-38 
*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Little Becomes Much

We can be convinced that we do nothing of any significance.  It might seem that all of the evidence shows that we are having no effect on another particular person.  

We see so little.  So much there is we do not see.  

What we do is little, yet it can matter so much.  It might seem to matter little, but out of just a little can come so much.  

What we do might matter little to us.  Yet it might matter a great deal to someone else.  

I am not speaking merely in theoretical terms here.  I have seen this truth demonstrated right in front of my very eyes.  

I am thinking of a generous person I know named Amy.  Amy likes to make desserts for people.  Recently Amy made a pie for someone who was turning 43, who said no one had ever made her a dessert for her birthday.  

We can think that we are doing something routine and normal and ordinary and therefore that what we are doing does not matter much.  However, we might find out that what we have done is much more special than we had thought, and gives much more love to a person than she has previously received.  In the little presents we give, we might be extending much more kindness, with much more of a nurturing and caring effect than we realize.  

Unlike people who do not see that little acts of love can have great effects on others, Amy recognizes that every dessert she makes is an opportunity to love her neighbor as herself,* just as Jesus taught us to do.  She bakes treats for people since she seeks to love others.  She seizes little chances to serve her neighbor.  

When we perform little acts of kindness for our neighbor, we follow the little way of Saint Therese of Lisieux, whose feast day we celebrate today.  Saint Therese sought to get to Heaven by making herself little, by making little sacrifices, by showing her love for others in a thousand little ways.  

As people choose to be content with doing little, in the end they might find that actually God is doing much through them.  If people give their assent to being humbled, to becoming less than they have been, they can come to find God doing great things through them.  

When much is accomplished through those who are little, God receives the glory due to Him, since He is performing the great works.  Through the little, God is glorified.  

When God is glorified, praised, and adored, we find the greatness for which we were made.  If you wish to become great, become little.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Dying For Others

July 1941.  Auschwitz.  A prisoner escapes.  In retribution, the Nazis condemn ten prisoners to death.  At roll call, they announce the names of the persons who they will send to their deaths.  One of the ten sentenced to death, Francis Gajowniczek, cries out that he has a wife and children.  Another inmate there at roll call, a Franciscan priest named Maximilian Kolbe, steps forward and says he would like to take the place of Gajowniczek.  

The Nazis agreed to the switch.  Kolbe and the other nine were subjected to forced starvation.  Despite dehydration and starvation, after two weeks Kolbe still had not died.  Kolbe was executed by a lethal injection on August 14, 1941.  

Gajowniczek later described how he could only thank Kolbe with his eyes.  He added that it was the first and the last time such an occurrence transpired at Auschwitz.  

Beauty and warmth and compassion can spring forth in the midst of horror and atrocities.  Kindness can be shown when brutality is all around us.  Love can be offered in reply to hate.  

Often we cannot control what happens to us.  However, we can always choose how we respond. When we are convinced that our freedom has been taken away from us, we can realize that we still have the free will that God has given to us because He loves us so much.  When we ask in disbelief and misunderstanding how God can allow such pain and suffering in the world, we can realize that God loves us so much that He gives us our free will.  God loves us so much that He will not force us.  God loves us so much that He lets us make our own decisions.  

Today as we celebrate the feast day of Saint Maximilian Kolbe, we can be led through the remembrance of the bravery of this saint to carefully consider our own choices.  We might never be given the chance to sacrifice ourselves courageously by physically dying for someone else.  However, in every fleeting moment of time, we can decide to die to ourselves so we can live for our neighbor in little ways.  Over and over again, we can put our neighbor before ourselves as we perform little acts of love for others, as Saint Therese of Lisieux did in her little way.  In every little action we do, we can decide to give away our lives for our neighbor, and thus save the life of our neighbor.  In each and every moment, we can choose to love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Loving Buried Treasure

When we love our neighbor, we give to our neighbor.  If we love our neighbor, we store up treasure in Heaven.  As we love, we feel joy.  Energized by the joy we know when we realize that God is love,* we become empowered to let go of all we have.  As we become detached from what we have, and give it out of love, we prepare ourselves to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  

We hear what the Kingdom of Heaven is like in today's Gospel reading.  There we hear that 

Jesus said to his disciples:
"The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it."**  

The Kingdom of Heaven is like treasure buried in a field.  In Heaven we find what is most valuable.  

When we realize the joy we will have in Heaven, we feel great joy now.  Once we taste merely a tiny morsel of the love of our Heavenly Father which we will feel in Heaven, we are joyous now.  

Feeling the love of our Heavenly Father, we are empowered to do as Jesus says, and go and sell all we have from love of God and our neighbor.  Some people might wonder whether all of us are called to give up everything we have and live with nothing.  We are all called to be completely detached from what we have.  If we are totally unattached to what we own, then we can do as we are called to do, and thus love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength,*** and love our neighbor as ourselves.****  Thus we are called out of love to let go of what we have if our neighbor needs it.  When we can live out such relinquishment of what we possess, we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  

We give up all we have to gain Heaven.  If, out of humility, we can become nothing for ourselves, then we can become something of great value to our neighbor.  

When we let go of things which we mistake for ourselves, then we can find our true selves.  As we gradually discover that our true identity rests in giving up ourselves for our neighbor, then we will be able to do as Saint Therese of Lisieux explained she was able to do: then, like her, little by little we are able to sacrifice ourselves more easily and without hesitation.  Bit by bit we can come to realize that what we think we have is not ours alone.  

As we release our hold on what we think is ours, we find we share it with others.  With every little thing, when we loosen our grip on it, we come to gain a grasp of the reality of love that binds us together with our neighbor.  

When we perform little acts of love for our neighbor, we plant seeds of love in our neighbor's heart.  As we act with love, we are sowing love in the world.  In every little loving choice we make, in time we can come to bear a rich harvest of love in our neighbor's heart.  

When we give up all we have from love of our neighbor, especially those amongst us who are most in need, we store up treasure in Heaven.  Upon letting go of what we have had, with our hearts emptied of all we thought we had had, then we can be filled with what God wants to give to us.  Having given up all we have had, then we can follow Jesus.***** 

Jesus told us that where our treasure is, there our hearts will be.******  When we fully give ourselves to our neighbor out of love for our neighbor, we live with transformed hearts: we reside in the hearts of our neighbor, and, residing there, we can love our neighbor as ourselves.  Having planted seeds of love in our neighbor's heart, we can come to find a rich harvest there.  Having given away all we have out of love of our neighbor, we can come to realize that, in the love we find in our neighbor's heart, we have treasure buried in the heart of our neighbor.  Having placed our love in our neighbor's heart, we can find our love abounding there if we cultivate it there.  Those who sow in unrestrained love reap rich rewards.  

Let us reap a rich harvest.  Let us give away what we have, and thus love God and love our neighbor, so we may find buried treasure.  Amen.  

* 1 John 4:8,16 
** Matthew 13:44-46 
*** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 
**** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
***** Matthew 19:21; Mark 10:21; Luke 18:22 
****** Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34 

Giving Up Ourselves

We are to give of ourselves.  We are to pour ourselves out for our neighbor.  Out of love for our neighbor, we are to die to ourselves so our neighbor can more fully live.  We are reminded of how we are called to such death and rebirth through how Jesus lived, died and rose from the dead for us.  In emulating and following Jesus, we are to model such love for each other.  I have seen a dear friend live out this love, throughout the whole time I have known him, and especially over the past year.  

Yesterday I visited this dear friend.  Years ago he asked me to address him as "Uncle," so here in this blog post I'll call him "Uncle."  Uncle is much older than I am.  He's the father of two friends of mine who were in college with me; I've known them for over twenty years.  Since we've been good friends for so long, years ago they introduced me to their father, who is Uncle.  
About nine months ago Uncle had a stroke.  He has been slowly recovering from this stroke: he cannot speak; he can move much less than he used to move.  He has been recuperating in long-term care facilities.  I have been struck by his tenacity and his determination.  Although he has faced significant challenges as he tries to regain his functioning, he has not been deterred.  

He has not given up.  He has kept trying to get better.  Although his body is broken, still he gives of himself.  

Jesus' body was broken for us.  Jesus gave of Himself for our sakes.  

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ.  Today we especially honor how Jesus gave up His body and His blood for us.   

When Jesus celebrated the Last Supper with His disciples, He broke the bread and gave it to His disciples, telling them, "This is My Body, given for you."  With the cup of wine, He told them, "This is My Blood, poured out for you."  As He gave them the bread and the cup, He instructed His disciples, "Do this in memory of me."*  Thus we celebrate the Eucharist when we celebrate Mass.  

Jesus has told us to do as he has done.  Give yourself up for your neighbor.  

Uncle is still giving of himself for the sake of his children and grandchildren.  By facing physical pain and incapacitation with resolve and fortitude, he is showing his children and his grandchildren how to respond courageously to formidable challenges.  In how he stays his course as he bravely grapples with his physical challenges, he is continuing to teach his children and his grandchildren about persistence, a labor of love to be honored today on Father's Day, and everyday.  

Uncle is embracing the duty God has placed before him.  Yesterday when I saw Uncle, I read to him an excerpt from "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, which I felt he would find inspiring.  In it, de Caussade asks us, 

Is not a picture painted on a canvas by the application of one stroke of the brush at a time?  Similarly the cruel chisel destroys a stone with each cut.  But what the stone suffers by repeated blows is no less the shape the mason is making of it.  And should a poor stone be asked, "What is happening to you?" it might reply, "Don't ask me.  All I know is that for my part there is nothing for me to know or do, only to remain steady under the hand of my Master and to love Him and suffer Him to work out my destiny.  It is for Him to know how to achieve this.  I know neither what is best and most perfect, and I suffer each cut of the chisel as though it were the best thing for me, even though, to tell the truth, each one is my idea of ruin, destruction and defacement.  But, ignoring all this, I rest contented with the present moment.  Thinking only of my duty to it, I submit to the work of this skillful Master without caring to know what it is."  

God calls us to the duty of the present moment.  God seeks to shape us through means we would not have chosen on our own.  God speaks to us in ways we don't expect.  

I think of Father Bruno, one of the Camaldolese monks I met at the hermitage in Big Sur, and how he found encouragement in his monastic vocation in a way some might see as unlikely, as described in the book "Adam: God's Beloved" by Henri Nouwen.  Once Father Bruno had stopped serving as prior, or head, of the monastic community in Big Sur, he took a sabbatical to help him to transition from holding authority to once again being a regular monk.  During his three months away from the hermitage, Father Bruno stayed at one of the L'Arche homes for disabled people founded by Jean Vanier.  While caring for a young intellectually disabled man named Adam at a L'Arche home, Father Bruno related how this disabled man, who essentially could not speak, was helping him to be a better monk.  Father Bruno explained that he had known that he "had to become empty for God, gradually letting go of thoughts, emotions, feelings and passions" that prevent deep communion with God.  Father Bruno described how silent Adam was helping him to delve into deeper solitude and thus deeper communion with God.  

We find encouragement in our relationship with God through people we don't expect, and through circumstances we don't expect.  God speaks to us both through pleasure and through pain, both of which can help us to welcome God into our hearts.  

When we encounter hardship, it might not seem like a blessing to us.  In the moment, all we see and feel is our own misery.  Yet we can come to realize that by pouring ourselves out for our neighbor, we can help our neighbor more fully live.  If we embrace our suffering, we are well-positioned to love our neighbor.  If we consciously embrace our afflictions so that others can live better, we can witness our pain being transformed into a sacrifice of love.  A sacrifice lovingly given can bear beautiful fruit, which can be seen in how others come to love better through the example provided to them.  

Once we see that our suffering can become an occasion for us to better love our neighbor, we come to see that God allows us to encounter adversity for our own good.  And of course God allows us pleasure for our comfort.  And so we can come to see God in all things.  We can come to welcome ordeals once we see that God is working all for our good, if we just love Him.**  

Realizing that God works all for the good of those who love Him, we come to thank God always.***  Seeing that God is always loving us, since God is love,**** we come to ever more open our hearts to God.  Welcoming God as love, we welcome whatever God sends to us.  Out of love, we welcome God into our hearts.  Amen.  

* Matthew 26:26-28; Mark 14:22-24; Luke 22:19-20; 
1 Corinthians 11:23-25 

** Romans 8:28 

*** 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

**** 1 John 4:8,16 

Plainly Loving Language

When we speak with someone, there is much left unsaid.  And yet we do not want to have regrets.  We want to express what is in our hearts that is longing to be released.  

If we but listen, we can hear the love of God that is knocking at the door of our hearts.  If we have let that love into our hearts,* that love in us is meant to be let out.  God calls us to love our neighbor** through our actions, and to speak plainly the language of love with our neighbor, whether they are rich or poor, whether they are luxuriously living in a mansion, or are huddled and shivering in sleeping bags and tents in the bushes.  
I have been trying to demonstrate to the homeless folks I love here in Redwood City that there is a deeper meaning to interactions they have with people who help them.  Recently I have told certain homeless friends of mine that when they receive food from people who aim to help them, it is not just about food.  Really, I have said to them, I have been trying to tell you that I love you.  

We wish to show you that you are worthy of respect.  You are receiving this love God is giving you through me because God loves you.  

And so when I have spoken so directly to my homeless friends who I so cherish, I feel as if I could say to them, that the time has come when I am no longer communicating with you in figures of speech, much like what Jesus said to His disciples just before His passion and death.***  It seems as if I could tell these dear homeless brothers and sisters of mine that now I am no longer just speaking with you through the metaphors of my actions.  Now I am speaking with you plainly.****  Finally I am talking with you in the plain language of love. 

Throughout much of His public ministry, Jesus spoke in parables and figures of speech.  Then on Maundy Thursday, He sat down with His disciples for the Last Supper, just before He was handed over to be condemned to death.*****  In that meal that night with His disciples, they saw a prefiguring of His sacrifice on the Cross.  While His disciples sat down to a meal of bread and wine, they received much more than food and drink; in the Eucharist, we receive nourishment of love from Jesus.  Having shown us on the night of the Last Supper how we are to celebrate the Eucharist, Jesus was about to die on Cross, and do what He had just said He was about to do.  He was showing them the greatest love one can have for one's friends, as He laid down His life for His friends.******  

When we try to show the greatest love we can have for our neighbor, when we die to ourselves, we live for our neighbor.  When we forget who we are, who society thinks we are supposed to be, when we disregard the message from society that we are to shun our brothers and sisters who are outcasts, then we can die to the disordered desires and hurtful ideas and selfish tendencies we have, so we can embrace our needy neighbor, and thus live for our neighbor.  

Once Jesus had spoken plainly to His disciples, just before He was handed over to be crucified, He told them that He did not have much more to say to them.*******  He had spoken The Truth honestly and openly with them, and thus there was not much else for Him to say.  

In telling these treasured homeless friends of mine that in trying to care for them, I am truly trying to tell them that I deeply love them, I have spoken plainly to them.  I have said what I really have to say to these homeless friends I so love.  And so I don't have much else to say.  

And so in a certain sense, I would be content if this were to be last blog entry I were ever to write.  Since this is the core of the message I feel that God brought me into the world to declare to my brothers and my sisters, I feel I have been embracing the vocation of love to which God has been calling me.    

For were I left to my own devices, I would be hesitant to say both that I am an unprofitable servant, and that I have only done my duty.  If I had not been instructed otherwise, I would lament that I am an unprofitable servant, and that I am not even sure that I can say that I have even done my duty.  However, since Jesus directed us to say in the end, "We are unprofitable servants; we have only done what we were obliged to do,"******** then I do proclaim those words.  Knowing that I have done what God has called me to do, to declare the truth to my homeless brothers and sisters, that they deserve respect and are clothed in dignity, since they are loved by God and by me, I rest secure in the loving promise that God, in His great mercy, will forgive me to the extent I have failed in performing this duty.  

And so, whether it is today, tomorrow, or fifty or more years from now, secure in the knowledge that I am called to lovingly embrace my homeless brothers and sisters, and that God, in His immense mercy will forgive me insofar as I fail in my best efforts to overwhelmingly love them, I joyfully proclaim that I am going home to the Father.*********  When I finally get back home, my dear brothers and sisters, please do not grieve for me, for it will be the most glorious day I have ever seen.  For my tiny, paltry, measly efforts to love will be overwhelmed by the unbelievably warm tender glow of the infinite love of God.  And thanks to His magnificent mercy, I shall bask in the glory of His infinite love for all eternity.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 
*** John 16:25 
**** John 16:29 
***** Matthew 26:26-29; Mark 14:22-25; Luke 22:14-20 
****** John 15:13 
******* John 14:30 
******** Luke 17:10 
********* John 16:16-17 

Reverence The Truth

Know thyself.  Assert who you are; declare the truth.  Proclaim your identity, no matter how much it costs, for the state of your soul depends on how you express yourself in this way.  Say and show who you really are, and you will feel a joy no one will be able to take from you, no matter what happens.  State the truth, and reverence the truth in how you act, and you respect the deepest recesses of your being.  

We hear the truth honored in these ways in the Gospel reading today, on Good Friday.  In today's Gospel reading, we hear that 

Judas got a band of soldiers and guards 
from the chief priests and the Pharisees 
and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.  
Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, 
went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"  
They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean."  
He said to them, "I AM."  
Judas his betrayer was also with them.  
When he said to them, "I AM, " 
they turned away and fell to the ground.    

So he again asked them,
"Whom are you looking for?"
They said, "Jesus the Nazorean."
Jesus answered,
"I told you that I AM.
So if you are looking for me, let these men go."
This was to fulfill what he had said, 
"I have not lost any of those you gave me."
Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, 
struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear.
The slave's name was Malchus.
Jesus said to Peter,
"Put your sword into its scabbard.
Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"  

So the band of soldiers, the tribune, 
and the Jewish guards seized Jesus,
bound him, and brought him to Annas first.  
He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, 
who was high priest that year.
It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews 
that it was better that one man should die 
rather than the people.  

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus.
Now the other disciple was known to the high priest, 
and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus.
But Peter stood at the gate outside.
So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest, 
went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in.
Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, 
"You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?"
He said, "I am not."
Now the slaves and the guards 
were standing around a charcoal fire
that they had made, because it was cold, 
and were warming themselves.  
Peter was also standing there keeping warm.  

And they said to him,
"You are not one of his disciples, are you?"
He denied it and said,
"I am not."
One of the slaves of the high priest, 
a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, 
"Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"
Again Peter denied it.
And immediately the cock crowed.  

Then they brought Jesus from Caiaphas to the praetorium.
It was morning.
And they themselves did not enter the praetorium, 
in order not to be defiled so that they could eat the Passover.
So Pilate came out to them and said, 
"What charge do you bring against this man?"
They answered and said to him,
"If he were not a criminal, 
we would not have handed him over to you."
At this, Pilate said to them, 
"Take him yourselves, and judge him according to your law."
The Jews answered him, 
"We do not have the right to execute anyone, " 
in order that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled
that he said indicating the kind of death he would die.
So Pilate went back into the praetorium 
and summoned Jesus and said to him, 
"Are you the King of the Jews?"
Jesus answered,
"Do you say this on your own 
or have others told you about me?"
Pilate answered,
"I am not a Jew, am I?
Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me.
What have you done?"
Jesus answered,
"My kingdom does not belong to this world.
If my kingdom did belong to this world, 
my attendants would be fighting 
to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.  
But as it is, my kingdom is not here."  
So Pilate said to him, 
"Then you are a king?"  
Jesus answered, 
"You say I am a king.  
For this I was born and for this I came into the world, 
to testify to the truth.  
Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."  
Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"  

When he had said this, 
he again went out to the Jews and said to them, 
"I find no guilt in him.  
But you have a custom 
that I release one prisoner to you at Passover.  
Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?"  
They cried out again, 
"Not this one but Barabbas!"  
Now Barabbas was a revolutionary.  

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged.
And the soldiers wove a crown out of thorns 
and placed it on his head, 
and clothed him in a purple cloak, 
and they came to him and said,
"Hail, King of the Jews!"
And they struck him repeatedly.
Once more Pilate went out and said to them, 
"Look, I am bringing him out to you, 
so that you may know that I find no guilt in him."
So Jesus came out, 
wearing the crown of thorns and the purple cloak.  
And he said to them, "Behold, the man!"  
When the chief priests and the guards saw him they cried out, 
"Crucify him, crucify him!"  
Pilate said to them, 
"Take him yourselves and crucify him.  
I find no guilt in him."  
The Jews answered, 
"We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die, 
because he made himself the Son of God."
Now when Pilate heard this statement,
he became even more afraid, 
and went back into the praetorium and said to Jesus, 
"Where are you from?"  
Jesus did not answer him.  
So Pilate said to him, 
"Do you not speak to me?  
Do you not know that I have power to release you 
and I have power to crucify you?"  
Jesus answered him, 
"You would have no power over me 
if it had not been given to you from above.  
For this reason the one who handed me over to you
has the greater sin."
Consequently, Pilate tried to release him; 
but the Jews cried out, 
"If you release him, you are not a Friend of Caesar.  
Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar."  

When Pilate heard these words he brought Jesus out 
and seated him on the judge's bench 
in the place called Stone Pavement, in Hebrew, Gabbatha.
It was preparation day for Passover, and it was about noon.
And he said to the Jews,
"Behold, your king!"
They cried out,
"Take him away, take him away! Crucify him!"
Pilate said to them,
"Shall I crucify your king?"
The chief priests answered,
"We have no king but Caesar."
Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.*  

Who are you?  When He was asked, Jesus said who He is.  He did not deny who He is, even with the great price associated with saying who He truly is.  He knew that the price, the sacrifice He was making of Himself through His death, is part of who He is.  Be ready to say who you are, no matter what the cost.  Do not forfeit your own happiness and joy, which comes from the fulfillment that arises from living out your true identity, the identity given to you by God.  

Others worry about the cost to us.  Saint Peter drew his sword to defend Jesus when soldiers came to arrest Him.  Our friends and our family want to save us from peril.  Yet when we embrace the duty of the present moment, as Jean-Pierre de Caussade notes, then we are at peace.  We abide in great calm regardless of what occurs, for then we live well aware of the truth that God ordains everything for the good of those who love Him.**  

Sometimes we might be so concerned with the cost to us and to others that we deny the truth.  When we deny the truth, we deny ourselves.  When we deny the truth, we condemn ourselves to death.  Saint Peter denied three times that he knew Jesus.  Don't deny who you are.  Don't deny who you follow.  Don't deny The Truth.  Yet if you do, God will forgive you if you wholeheartedly repent.  If you turn to God with all your heart, God will forgive you.  As Pope Francis has told us, the name of God is mercy, for God is love,*** and love shows mercy.  

We see love in how Jesus led His life.  In how He ministered to people, by teaching them and healing them, and from how He died for us, He showed that He loves us.  Jesus showed us that God is love.  How do we reply to the gift of love which Jesus has given to us?  Each and every one of us must choose how we respond to Jesus.  

Every human being must decide what they think of Jesus.  All people define themselves by how they relate to The Truth.  Pilate asked Jesus what truth is.  We can pretend that we don't know what the truth is.  Yet The Truth remains the truth.  We cannot escape the truth, nor can we escape the consequences of how we relate to The Truth.  

Pilate declared the truth.  He proclaimed that Jesus had done nothing wrong.  Yet we assert our relation to the truth not only in what we say, but also in what we do.  Although Pilate stated the truth, that Jesus had done nothing wrong, after so stating, then Pilate acted out of step with the truth.  Even though Pilate knew that Jesus had done nothing wrong, Pilate handed Jesus over to be crucified.  

Show who you are in what you say, and in what you do.  When we fully focus on the duty in the present moment to tell the truth, we are strengthened with serenity and peace.  When we reside utterly in the present duty to witness to the truth, we remain calm in the face of adversity, and courageously proclaim the truth.  When we firmly declare our loyalty to The Truth, we abide in deep peace, since we are embracing Jesus deep within us.  Then we speak from a place of safety and security deep within our being; then we state The Truth in accord with Jesus.  When we remain loyal to The Truth, we turn to God, and our souls are saved.  Amen.  

* John 18:3-18:18; John 18:25-19:16 
** Romans 8:28 
*** 1 John 4:8, 16 

Not Only Bread

When it seems like we are suffering without meaning, a purpose can be achieved if we but trust in God.  A point rests in difficulties, if we are but willing that it be shown to us.  God is training us.  Do we accept this guidance?  We learn not just when we are sated.  We grow also when we are longing and feel we are not being satisfied.  

We realize who we are both through times which are rewarding as well as during trying periods.  By navigating amidst both types of waters, we see reflected in those waters our truest, deepest desires.  In time we come to see our true identity in all types of moments, and thus we come to discover true joy, the deep and profound joy which comes from knowing who we truly are.  

And so we are not always satiating our desires.  We know that we learn also when we deprive ourselves of what we want.  Thus now during Lent, for forty days we immerse ourselves in a more intense period of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  

We are encouraged in our Lenten observances through knowing that Jesus fasted in the desert for forty days.  Thus in today's Gospel we hear that 

At that time Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert
to be tempted by the devil.
He fasted for forty days and forty nights,
and afterwards he was hungry.
The tempter approached and said to him, 
"If you are the Son of God, 
command that these stones become loaves of bread."
He said in reply,
"It is written:
One does not live on bread alone,
but on every word that comes forth
from the mouth of God."

Then the devil took him to the holy city, 
and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 
and said to him, 
"If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.
For it is written:
He will command his angels concerning you
and with their hands they will support you,
lest you dash your foot against a stone."
Jesus answered him,
"Again it is written, 
You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test."  

Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain,
and showed him all the kingdoms of the world 
in their magnificence, 
and he said to him, "All these I shall give to you, 
if you will prostrate yourself and worship me."
At this, Jesus said to him,
"Get away, Satan!
It is written:
The Lord, your God, shall you worship
and him alone shall you serve."

Then the devil left him and, behold,
angels came and ministered to him.*  

There is the temptation to focus on what is visible.  Satan tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread.  If we focus too much on food, we can end up putting our bodies before our souls.  Then, at the hour of our death, we can be in the position of wishing we had put our souls before our bodies.  Jesus reminds us that we truly subsist on the Word of God, for the Word feeds our souls, while bread feeds only our bodies.  We need not only bread, but, far more importantly, the Word of God so we may be fully nourished.  

There is the temptation to test God.  Satan tried to tempt Jesus into jumping off the spire of the temple to see if God the Father would save Him.  We try to test and see if God is really going to take care of us.  We worry that God doesn't have everything in His care.  God has a plan that is infinitely better for us than anything we could possibly imagine.  Jesus directs us not to put God to the test.  God calls us to trust Him.  

There is the temptation to grab power, and in doing so, to sacrifice our souls through turning away from God.  Satan tempted Jesus with the suggestion of earthly power.  Jesus knew who He was and is; Jesus knew that His Kingdom is not of this world.**  We are not to grasp for power that is not within the scope of our vocation: we are not to cling to power that God is not calling us to have.  We are to follow the call that God sends to each of us.  In the process, we respect ourselves and we reverence God, for we are who He created us to be, and we do what He created us to do, to adore, and praise and glorify Him.  

When Jesus faced these temptations for forty days, He was strengthened in the knowledge of the Israelites' exodus in the desert for forty years.***  Jesus knew also that Moses had spent forty days fasting on the mountain as he received the Ten Commandments from God.****  

Jesus was conscious of what God the Father had been trying to show us for years through deprivation.  When Jesus confronted temptation, He knew the purpose of the desert.  In not only the literal desert, a dry, barren, stark landscape, but also in spiritual deserts characterized by spiritual dryness and loneliness, and in emotional deserts fraught with frustration, dissatisfaction and depression, we encounter denial of our desires.  We are tested through hardship.  Through adversity, we are brought up by God: through trials, God helps us to progress beyond being spiritual infants.  Amidst difficulties, God helps us grow up to be spiritually mature and robust, strong in our faith so that we trust in Him when we are assailed by stressful circumstances which test our faith, so that we may prove our love for Him.  

It is from this perspective of one akin to that of a loving parent that we come to understand a faint, slight glimmer of how God loves us.  While we may think that we are suffering pointlessly, God is helping us to become more than we have been, to become much better than we have been.  

Through this lens of spiritual clarity we gain when we see that God is a deeply loving Father, we come to view our past trials through a new light.  We see how God has been working all for our good, for those of us who love Him.*****  Then we understand how the Israelites were told 

Remember how for these forty years 
the LORD, your God, 
has directed all your journeying in the wilderness, 
so as to test you by affliction, 
to know what was in your heart: 
to keep his commandments, or not.  
He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger, 
and then fed you with manna, 
a food unknown to you and your ancestors, 
so you might know 
that it is not by bread alone that people live, 
but by all that comes forth from the mouth of the Lord.  
The clothing did not fall from you in tatters, 
nor did your feet swell these forty years.  
So you must know in your heart that, 
even as a man disciplines his son, 
so the Lord, your God, disciplines you.  
Therefore, keep the commandments of the Lord, your God, 
by walking in his ways and fearing him.******  

With the realization that afflictions are not meaningless suffering, but are tests from God to demonstrate our love for Him, and are lessons that we must rely only on Him, we see that we are led to love God.  God guides us through all that happens, some of which seems harsh and painful.  Yet we must remember that when we are being disciplined, although it seems a cause not of joy but of distress, later it brings fruit in peace for those who have gone through it.*******  

By way of analogy, I think of a family who recently moved out of the Catholic Worker House here.  They often come back to visit, so we still get to see them a lot.  The mother has noticed that one of her children asks very frequently for chocolate.  The mom now often tells her daughter that she may not have chocolate when she asks for it.  

If a child grows up always getting what she wants, what kind of adult will she become?  If God always gives us what we want, what sort of people will we be?  

I think too of a conversation I had recently with a certain homeless woman I've met countless times.  Once again here I'll call her "Roslyn."  Roslyn once asked me why God lets unfortunate things happen to people.  I suggested to Roslyn that she imagine a child playing on a playground.  I added into the visualization a parent who stayed at the playground and always intervened and prevented any harm from ever coming to the child.  I asked Roslyn what she thought of the way that such a child would be brought up.  She replied that the child would not be well raised.  I said that thus God loves us and lets us learn in varied ways.  

Yet are we willing to learn?  Do we embrace opportunities to learn, or do we reject such occasions to learn when they feel unpleasant?  A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend.  Understandably, she was disappointed that they realized that they had to part ways because their values were too divergent to make a continuing relationship feasible.  At the end of relationships, what is God trying to teach us?  In every situation in our lives, what is there we can learn?  

To learn, we must be humble.  God wants us to learn, so He humbles us.  

God makes us feel hunger and thirst, so we can hunger and thirst for what we need.  We grow not just through our desires being satisfied.  We also develop through our yearnings.   

So that we may grow, God tests our inmost heart.  If we are never tested, we never know where we stand and thus where and how we need to grow.  God wants to see what we desire.  God wants to see if we truly love Him.  

Do we really love God?  Will we obey God even when things become rough?  

And so some periods in our lives become harder.  God knows that sometimes if we suffer, we can learn.  There are instances when God allows us to hurt so that we may grow through the pain.  

If we see that God allows misfortune so that we may grow, then we become more willing to die to ourselves.  If we realize that, by denying our desires, we can grow, then we are likely to begin fasting.  

We come to see that we live not on bread alone.  When we see that our souls are fed and are strengthened in the midst of adversity, we become willing to suffer out of love of God and love of our neighbor.  Feeling nourished by the love we witness through the sacrifice Jesus made for us, it becomes clear to us that our souls are fed by the Word of God.   

During Mass, when we remember His sacrifice, we recall how he gave Himself to die for our sins.  In this recollection of His death on the Cross, we are implicitly encouraged to die for our neighbor as He died for us.  We receive the encouragement and love of Jesus when we receive the Eucharist.  Thus we can come to realize that the Eucharist is not merely bread.  

Jesus is living in us.  If we welcome Jesus into our hearts, then we are living in love.  If we remain in Jesus as He remains in us,******** we have true life, and thus true joy: this is a joy which no one can take away from us,********* no matter what happens.  In this joy we begin to have a foretaste of the joy we will have in Heaven.  If we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we can begin to live in eternal joy right now.  

* Matthew 4:1-11 
** John 18:36
*** Deuteronomy 8:2-3 
**** Exodus 34:28; Deuteronomy 9:18 
***** Romans 8:28 
****** Deuteronomy 8:2-6 
******* Hebrews 12:11 
******** John 15:4 
********* John 16:22