Lovingly Welcome Martyrdom

This afternoon I arrived back here at the hermitage for my first visit since I stopped living here at the beginning of last summer.  Being here again, I am reminded of why I entered formation here on the path to becoming a monk: the silence and solitude so conducive to prayer and meditation; the liturgical schedule which includes communal prayer three times a day, in addition to daily Mass; and the warm, welcoming hospitality of these gracious monks.  

Yet I recollect that while I felt that God called me to live at this hermitage for a time so I could learn to deepen my prayer life, I feel that it has been clear to me for quite some time now that God has not given me the grace to be a monk.  A while ago I also concluded that I have an inner monk, who I am to nurture consciously, deliberately and mindfully, through the spiritual disciplines of prayer, worship, celebration of God's blessings, silence, solitude, simplicity and service, among other spiritual practices.  

God has given me the wisdom to realize that these spiritual disciplines help me to turn my attention toward Him, to focus on Him, and to hear Him and to listen to Him.  God gives us what we need to do His will.  We might get caught up in craving something that we would like to do to try to serve Him, but while we have our own hopes of how to serve God, in insisting upon them, we might be clinging to ideas which are our own, and are not according to the plan God has in mind for us.  

Today at Mass here, in his sermon Father Cyprian recalled how both Saint Francis and Saint Romuald longed to die as martyrs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  Yet, Father Cyprian explained to us, God had not given Saint Francis and Saint Romuald the grace to be martyrs.  Father Cyprian went on to note that dying as a martyr is not something we can reach out and grasp; we must be given the grace to die as a martyr.  God gives us the grace we need to do His will.  

However, Father Cyprian gave us hope as he continued his homily.  He instructed us that God calls all of us to be martyrs for love.  We are to die to our own desires, so that, having emptied ourselves, God can fill us with His grace so that, filled with His love,* we can serve as the conduits through which God sends His love to our neighbors, so that they may receive what they need.  

I was reminded of these truths this morning when I received a message from someone I'll call "Paul."  God has blessed both Paul and me with the same certain person in our lives, who I'll call "Lauren."  Lauren is homeless and she also suffers from a drug addiction.  Paul and I have discussed much how we might be able to help Lauren, who keeps making decisions which threaten her spiritual, psychological and physical health.  While we can see Lauren as disappointing us, and based on that dissatisfaction, we could choose to isolate her and shun her, if we were to do so, we would be deciding to allow our emotions to control us.  Or we can choose to let our irritation with her not dominate us, but instead die to our natural inclinations, instead letting love rule us.  

When we forgive, we die to our selfish instincts to cling to our pain of how we feel we have been hurt.  As we forgive, we selflessly love the other person.  When we forgive, we also love ourselves, since we free ourselves from the prison in which we had been enclosing ourselves: when we forgive our neighbor, we let go of the pain which had been enslaving us, through the torment we had been deciding to impose on both our neighbor and on ourselves by previously refusing to forgive our neighbor.  

When we allow ourselves to be humbled, then God gives us the grace** we need to forgive our neighbor.  If we forgive our neighbor, we treat our neighbor as we would like to be treated, since we too would like to be forgiven.  When we forgive our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves*** as Jesus taught us to do.  When we die to our own pain, we become martyrs for love.  Having let go of our pain, God can fill us with His grace, so that, filled with His love, we can give others the love they need.  In loving through the free gift of the grace of God,**** we glorify God.  In dying to ourselves, and in forgiving our neighbor, and thus loving our neighbor, we become who God has always meant us to be.  Amen.  

* Romans 5:5 
** James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5 
*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14  
**** Ephesians 2:8 

Learning From Others

When we become who God has always meant us to be, we help others to realize who God has always intended them to be.  When we love, we help others to love.  

In my quest to discover my true identity, I have been assisted by numerous friends.  This week and last week, I have been thinking especially of a dear friend of mine who passed away at the end of last month.  I've written before of this cherished friend, who I have called "Uncle."  In his reflective, meditative way, Uncle supplied helpful insight to me as I have struggled to find my real identity.  For years he served me as a valuable friend, accompanying me as I did work which I knew was not the best fit for me.  

For ten years I worked as an attorney, even though I really didn't want to be doing such work; I was forcing myself to work as an attorney so I could pay off my large debts.  I didn't have an idea of what I would do next until I had been a lawyer for more than a few years.  Even though I didn't know what I would do after I stopped being a lawyer, I was impatient to move on and stop lawyering.  

Usually I remained silent about wanting to switch to some other type of work.  However, looking back at those days as an attorney, it seems that even though so often I kept quiet about wanting to cease lawyering, now I feel I was receiving direction about where I was headed.  Now it seems as if Uncle and the rest of the family were implicitly preparing me and teaching me simply by welcoming me into their homes.  

At this point it seems as if, embedded in their actions of welcoming me into their homes, they were showing me that I was taking steps to get ready for what I would do next.  Yet if Uncle had explained their assistance through words, I envision that he would have taken one of his characteristic pauses in which he carefully pondered what he was about to say.  Then I can imagine him gently and wisely advising me, "In what you are doing right now, you are preparing for what you want to do later."  

Often we don't see right away how we are preparing for what will come later.  Friends help us see what we can't see.  

I visualize him having given me this insight while sitting with him at one of the many family celebrations with him and the rest of his family.  At Thanksgiving dinners and birthday celebrations, I was welcomed into their family.  Insofar as they're Filipino, I was repeatedly experiencing the context of a different cultural background when we celebrated together on these occasions.  

As I was welcomed time and again into their homes, they didn't realize that they were preparing me to go into the Peace Corps.  Just as Uncle and the rest of their family welcomed me into their homes and another cultural background, similarly once I arrived with the Peace Corps in Morocco, I was being welcomed into host families in another culture.  

Long after I left Morocco, I realized that Uncle's warmth and generosity and welcoming nature had been echoed in the hospitality I received in Morocco.  Yet before I had even left Morocco, I had resolved to extend hospitality to others once I left Morocco.  And so I was influenced in my decision to enter a reformed Benedictine monastery, since Benedictine monks offer hospitality to visitors.  I lived and worked at the Camaldolese hermitage on the Big Sur coast of California partly since I strove to be hospitable just as Uncle and the rest of his family, as well as Moroccans, were hospitable to me.  

Similarly, I have felt drawn to live and work at Catholic Worker Houses partly since I have wanted to offer hospitality to those in need of it.  Thus I find myself here at this Catholic Worker House in part due to Uncle's warm and giving and hospitable nature.  

Thus I return to what I wrote in a recent blog post: in being ourselves, we help others to find themselves.  As we give, we help others to give.  

Uncle and his daughters and the rest of their family, in extending hospitality to me, led me to realize I wanted to extend hospitality to others.  In being themselves, they helped me to be me.   When we embrace who God calls us to be, we help others realize who God calls them to be.  

When we love, we help others to love.  When we love others, we show who we are. 

When we love others, we welcome others into our hearts.  When we love others, we welcome God into our hearts.  

When we extend hospitality to our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves,* as Jesus taught us to do.  We would like to receive hospitality from others, so when we offer hospitality to others, we treat others as we would like to be treated.  

We become what we do.  When we love, we become love.  Let us love, help others to love, and become love.  Amen.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Imitating Loving Friends

Today I attended the funeral of a dear friend who I have called “Uncle.”  Uncle was a poetic and literate, religious, warm and hospitable, determined and committed, nurturing and loving soul.  I fondly remember him and treasure him in my heart for the admirable qualities he displayed.  

In what we value in our friends, we are presented with opportunities to become like them.  Our friends invite us to emulate them.  

I can honor Uncle not just by pondering what I appreciated about him.  Keeping in mind his faith, love of learning, welcoming nature, tenacity and compassion, I can strive to demonstrate these qualities as I try to love my neighbor as myself,* as Jesus instructed, and as Uncle aimed to do.  

In imitating our friends, including as we look back on our friends’ lives and recall what we appreciate about them, we can come to realize that death truly is a life-giving experience.  In feeling nourished by the consideration of the life of our dearly departed friend, we can feel joy in the midst of our sorrow.  

Uncle may have moved on to the next life, but he has left us with the gift of how he lived his life.  As I consider his death, I am moved to find new life in how he wholeheartedly embraced what God called him to do here on this earth.  

Of course we weep when our family members and friends pass on from this life to the next.  Yet in remembering how our deceased friends have lived, we can consider how we would like to live like them since they brought us joy.  In imitating our dearly departed friends, we can thus similarly bring others joy.  

Uncle was a great friend, and brought me much joy.  Realizing the joy he brought to me, I feel called to look at how he lived and how he loved.  

If we let the love of our departed friends live on in us, our friends can continue to live through us.  We can honor our deceased friends by helping them to live on through us.  

Friends live in our hearts.  They live in our hearts while they are still living in this life, and they still live in our hearts once they have passed on to the next life.  Our friends live in our hearts during our lives on this earth since we have welcomed them into our hearts.  If they remain in our hearts, they live on in our hearts once they have passed on to the next life.  

Let us consider how our friends have loved us.  Let us feel the joy our friends bring us.  A person is a friend if he helps you to love God, your neighbor and yourself.  

And so, looking back on the life of Uncle, I see a great friend.  He helped me to love God and my neighbor and myself.  And so I choose to imitate him.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Catholic Worker Shenanigans

As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House, we extend hospitality to guests who stay with us for months.  We just had a new guest move in with us, a college student named Milagros who needed a place to stay for the summer.  We call her "Milo" for short.  

As part of our ministry of hospitality to our guests,  we help them get what they need.  Thus, if any of them needs a car, sometimes a car is donated which they can use.  Our donors know what our guests need, and so generous people often give what our guests need without our even asking.  At other times, we let our donors know that our guests have specific needs.  

One morning recently at the kitchen table, I said to my mentor Larry something like, "Larry, I know this hasn't been in the budget, but we need another set of wheels."  I paused for dramatic effect.  Then I explained, "Milo wants a skateboard."  

On another occasion, my fellow Catholic Worker Aida was frying an egg.  I cautioned her, "You know, Aida, you're going to be embarrassed if you get that egg on your face."  

At the silence which ensued, Larry, who was sitting at the kitchen table, explained, "It's a joke."  Then, after a brief pause, he added, "Aida, the yolk's on you."  

Reaching New Heights

Here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House, usually on Monday mornings, we host a gathering of Catholic Workers from the San Francisco Bay Area.  Before we celebrate Mass here in the house together, we sit at the kitchen table enjoying the fellowship and community, and update each other on our lives.  We relate rewarding experiences from the last week.  We tell each other about challenges we've been facing.  We explain how our guests and our former guests have been doing, as we've extended hospitality to them.  We share with each other our foibles and mishaps.  

While we were meeting on Monday of this week, I was informing my peers of exciting events coming up in my life.  I also described an errand that my fellow Catholic Worker, Susan, and I recently ran.  I explained that as she and I were returning in our van from picking up some food which had been donated to us, I told her a joke.  

Right after I told her the joke, I thought of the four year old girl in the family who most recently moved out of this Catholic Worker House.  Right after one of us would tell a joke, then this little girl would attempt to tell jokes, which usually devolved and descended into incomprehensible babbling.  

After I told my joke in the van to Susan, I admitted to her, "You know, that sounds like a joke that she would tell."  

Days later, as we sat at the kitchen table for our weekly gathering, I said to everyone at the table that once I realized that I had told a joke resembling one that a four year old would tell, I thought, "I've started telling jokes like ones that four year olds tell.  I'm sinking to new lows."  Then, I described to them how I imagined some of them thinking about my immature sense of humor and dryly replying, "No, Doug.  You're reaching new heights."  

Forgiveness Welcomes Love

Who do we fear?  When we fear, we close our hearts.  

Who do we forgive?  When we forgive, we love.  When we love, we open our hearts.  

When we will not forgive, we cling to the past.  Through refusing to forgive, we will not let go of the hurt we feel.  

When we forgive, we leave the past behind us.  When we forgive, we let go of the pain which has been enslaving us, binding us to the past.  

When stubbornly we will not forgive, we insist on remaining wounded.  Similarly, when we choose to live in fear, we stay paralyzed and cannot move forward.  

When we forgive, we heal.  When we forgive, we open our hearts to a new future with our neighbor.   

When we will not forgive, and when we fear, we refuse to give.  In failing to forgive, and in fearing, we close ourselves off from our neighbor, and thus refuse to love our neighbor.  

When we forgive, we give.  In forgiving, we give the gift of love to our neighbor.  When we forgive our neighbor, we give the gift of reconciliation, and the hope of a new future together, to our neighbor.  

When we fear, and when we will not forgive, we refuse to receive.  By fearing, we wall ourselves off from what our neighbor has to give us.  

When we forgive, we receive.  Through forgiving, we receive the gift of the hope of a restored relationship with our neighbor.  Even if our neighbor refuses to be reconciled with us, still we have received the gift of our own freedom, insofar as we have been liberated from the chains of selfishness which had been restraining us from loving our neighbor.  

To whom do we give?  From whom do we receive?

This week here at the Catholic Worker House we received a call from a generous, thoughtful person.  She called us to tell us we could come to her place of employment and pick up free items.  A couple Catholic Workers went to where she works, and there she gave them free furniture.   

To paint a little more of a picture of this magnanimous person, in her home, this individual has a collection of crosses hanging on a wall.  At some point in the past, this person was convicted of committing a felony.  

If we get stuck on a label someone has been given, on how someone has been categorized by society, we can end up hostage to our fears.  Or we can approach someone with open minds and open hearts.  If we are open to what someone has to give us, then we can be open to receive from that person.  If we forgive someone, we love that person, and we allow that person to love us in return.  

If we open our hearts to others, we welcome them.  If our hearts are open to others, we accept the hospitality they extend to us.  

Who do we welcome?  From whom do we accept hospitality?  

We are told, "Remember always to welcome strangers, for by doing this, some people have entertained angels without knowing it.*  By extending hospitality to strangers, Abraham received the news from his guests, who were actually angels, that his wife Sarah would bear a son.**  By offering hospitality to strangers, Lot was delivered from death when Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed.***  

If we are busy fearing the stranger, we cannot listen to what they have to say to us.  If we are closing our hearts to someone, we cannot at the same time open our hearts to receive what they have to give us.  By fearing our neighbors, we deprive them of the gift of loving us.  When we fear, we do not let others love us.  
One of the Catholic Workers who went to pick up the free furniture was helped by another person who has repeatedly extended hospitality to others in her home.  On countless occasions, she has given them food and drink.  She has invited people to stay at her home, offering them shelter when they had no place else to stay.  She has showed abundant generosity in the unrestrained love she has for her neighbor.  Yet years ago she too was convicted of committing a felony.  

If we get hung up on how someone has been stigmatized by our society, we can become blinded to seeing the goodness in that person.  If we open our hearts to someone, regardless of what he or she may have done in the past, we can welcome what he or she has to give us.  If we welcome someone, then we can receive the help we need from the person who is present to assist us in our time of need.  

We are called to see the love being offered to us.  We are called to love each other as Jesus has loved us.****  We are called to welcome each other into our hearts, regardless of the unfortunate decisions we may have made in the past.  Others might not understand how we forgive, and might question our judgement.  

When the Pharisees saw Jesus and his disciples eating with tax collectors and sinners, the Pharisees asked Jesus' disciples why Jesus was eating with tax collectors and sinners.  Jesus replied that those who were well had no need of a physician, but only those who were sick.*****  Jesus welcomed those who would listen.  Jesus welcomed those whose hearts were open to Him.  

And so Jesus told a parable to those whose hearts were not open enough.  He said 

"What is your opinion?  A man had two sons.  He came to the first and said, 'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'  

He replied, 'I will not,' but afterwards he changed his mind and went.  

The man came to the other son and gave the same order.  He said in reply, 'Yes, sir,' but did not go.  

Which of the two did his father's will?"  

They answered, "The first."  

Jesus said to them, "Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom of God before you."******  
There are people among us who have been committed crimes, but who have repented, and who now love their neighbor.  We who are not convicted criminals may think well of ourselves.  Yet if we merely say that we will do what God asks, but do not actually do it, we are not doing the will of God.  Despite appearances to the contrary, we might very well be entering the Kingdom of God after those who have been convicted of crimes.  We might be entering the Kingdom of God after those who our society calls outcasts, rejects and failures.  

We have our own ideas about who is bad and who is good.  We decide why people are bad and why they are good.  Yet we are all sinners.  We are all in need of God's mercy.  

Therefore Jesus instructed us, "Be merciful, just as your Heavenly Father is merciful."*******  We are to forgive our neighbor, just as God forgives us.  We must forgive our neighbor if we want to be forgiven.  

Since we must always forgive our neighbor, we must always forgive as God always forgives us.  Thus God calls us to strive to be like Him.  And so Jesus has directed us, "Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect."********  

God calls us to love our neighbor.  If we love, we forgive.  If we forgive our neighbor, we give love to our neighbor.  If we forgive, we receive the love we give.  When we forgive, we free ourselves and our neighbor from the shackles of selfishness.  When we forgive our neighbor, we are freed to choose the bonds of love which Jesus offers to establish with us.  

Jesus, always with us,********* patiently waits for us to turn inward and welcome Him into our hearts.  Jesus asks us to let Him love others through us.  Jesus wants us to become like Him.  He came to help us become like Him.  Saint Athanasius said, "the Son of God became man so that we might become God."  God asks whether we will consent to become more and more and more like Him.  

* Hebrews 13:2 
** Genesis 18:2-15 
*** Genesis 19:1-3 
**** John 13:34 
***** Matthew 9:10-11; Mark 2:16-17; Luke 5:30-31  
****** Matthew 21:28-31 
******* Luke 6:36 
******** Matthew 5:48 
********* Matthew 28:20 

Trusting In Love

Most mornings at the kitchen table here at the Catholic Worker House we sit, read the newspaper and begin our day with cups of coffee.  Often we all read in silence in this early stage of the day.  Yet sometimes at this time of the day a story will be told.  

Last week at the table I heard a true story which has impressed itself onto my memory.  Someone's grandfather lived in the American Southwest.  He traveled in that region selling various goods.  

Once he and a companion were on a trip together on which they were planning on making some sales.  One night of their journey, they didn't know where they were going to stay.  They crossed paths with a family who invited them to stay with them.  The grandfather and his friend took the family up on their kind offer.  

Early in the morning, the grandfather's friend woke up.  He said he wanted to start on the continuation of their voyage.  He wanted to set out early, since he felt that by leaving early, they would be in a better position to make more sales.  He was worried that if they waited to leave, others would capture the business the two of them could get for themselves.  

The grandfather said he was going to stay and thank the family for their kind hospitality.  So the friend left alone.  The grandfather stayed a substantial amount of time that morning until the family rose from their slumber.  The grandfather thanked them for being so warm and welcoming, then he continued on his way.  Further down his route, by the side of the road, the grandfather soon found his friend, who had been ambushed by bandits.  They had killed him.  

The grandfather remained with the family so he could thank them.  If he had not stayed, he too might have been murdered.  He was saved by his desire to express his gratitude.  We are saved when we decide to love.  

When we thank someone, we love them, since we are showing our appreciation of what they have done for us.  When we thank someone, we are following Jesus' commandment to love our neighbor.*    

Love was shown to the grandfather.  He wanted to show love in return by thanking his hosts.  Not only did he have that desire, but he expressed that sentiment of gratitude by staying to thank them, despite what appeared to be the apparent cost of sales which would be seemingly lost to him.  

He had set out on his journey trusting, traveling without knowing where he was going to rest his head.  As it turned out, he was able to rest easy, receiving the hospitality which was graciously given to him.  

Having trusted, and having been rewarded for his trust, he valued what he had received.  Having realized the worth of what he had been given, in the generous spirit in which it had been given, he wanted to thank those who had hosted him.  

He had also trusted by staying behind to thank the family.  He trusted that all would work out financially with the sales he might not make since he was waiting to set out on the road.  

Again, in trusting, he was rewarded.  By trusting that he was to wait so he could thank his hosts, and that all would be well, he was rewarded with his own life.  

In life we can be convinced that we have great plans through which we will be providing for ourselves all we need.  Only God can supply for us all we require.  Under our own plan, when we think we are going to be secure, in fact we may be heading into ruin.  

When we encounter delays, we may think that we are being held up from accomplishing what we need to get done.  When our lives fail to unfold the way that we had expected, perhaps God is saving us from calamity which would have befallen us had we continued on the path we had planned to take.  

So often we can think that we are losing, when in fact we are being saved.  When we think we are losing, we are immeasurably gaining.  

We think we know what is valuable, but God knows what we need.  God provides it for us, and we will get it from Him, if we will only listen to what He is trying to tell us, and if we will only be where He wants us to be.  

If we truly have faith, we will not worry about what we are losing.  With true faith, we open our hearts to welcome whatever God is trying to give to us.  Thus we become unconcerned about whether we lose what we have.  

If we have love in our hearts, we will be grateful for how God has given so bounteously to us.  If we love, we will be grateful for what God gives to us through our neighbor.

If we love our neighbor, we will thank our neighbor.  If we love God, we will trust God.  

If we are grateful and trust, we are on the right path.  If we love our neighbor and love God, we will be saved.  

* Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Ray Of Hope

This morning, as the sun was rising, I was helping my fellow Catholic Worker, Susan, clean up our front porch.  We walked out onto the porch this morning and saw that, as usual, there were some items there that no one took from the previous night.  

Here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House, our front porch is a free zone.  Anyone can come and take anything that's sitting on the porch.  Persons here in Redwood City have come to be familiar with this practice.  People have become so accustomed to coming to the porch that some of them identify this ministry of giving free goods, which happens on the porch, as being synonymous with this particular Catholic Worker House.  Many times I've heard homeless folks refer to this Catholic Worker House simply as "The Porch."   

Since so many people know that they can drop off donations on our porch, people regularly show up to give clothes, toys, and household items and leave them on the porch.  In the morning, Catholic Workers clean up the porch, and remove items no one took away the previous day.  

After Susan and I had finished straightening up the porch this morning, I was walking to the van I use so I could put an empty box in it for usage sometime in the future.  As I was walking down the sidewalk, a young woman came out of the apartment complex next door to us.  

Before I moved in here at the Catholic Worker House, in that building next door lived low-income individuals.  Then the building was renovated, rents in it were raised, and middle-income persons moved into it.  As Larry, a Catholic Worker who co-founded this house dozens of years ago, has noted, due to rising rents and changing demographics, we have been witnessing changes in who we serve and where they live.  We have seen impoverished people forced to move due to lack of funds.   What part does compassion play in determining whether rents go up?  

As rent prices rise, our neighbors change.  Neighbors move, yet we gain new neighbors.  Interpersonal dynamics shift in the neighborhood.  While we used to have closer interactions with certain neighbors and feel more of a sense of community with some people who have moved on, now we cross paths with neighbors we hadn't met.  Yet they are our neighbors and provide opportunities for exchanges between us.  

And so I was conscious of this young woman this morning when she exited the apartment complex next door and greeted me.  Often I notice that wherever I am, many people do not wish others a good morning.  Frequently I notice that numerous people do not even acknowledge the presence of someone else when crossing paths.  

We have opportunities in each and every interaction to display the qualities we wish were present in our society.  What do we want to see in the world?  As Gandhi has noted, we must be the change we want to see in the world.  Do we wish to witness love being shown in the world, hospitality, warmth, and a welcoming friendliness?  Do you like to see the warmth of such light which emerges when others let that light shine through them?  

We should not underestimate the power of such little acts of love.  Saint Therese of Lisieux wrote of how she followed a little way of getting to Heaven by performing little gestures of kindness for others.  

We define ourselves by how we choose to act not only in grand matters but also in tiny ones.  In how we respond in every instant, we articulate the approach we take to life.  We call attention to the worth of every human choice by realizing the value of every action.  And in every little gesture we make, we send little signals of hope, rays of hope which emanate outward from our souls, to the souls of those with whom we come into contact.  Arising out of a consciousness of the value of every choice we make, we can proclaim with Saint Teresa of Calcutta that it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.  

It may seem insignificant, but at many moments in our day we have the opportunity to welcome the stranger.  Do we do so?  We benefit when we examine our own practices.  Are we friendly to others?  Do we acknowledge others?  To recognize the presence of someone else is to recognize the dignity of that person.  

Are you concerned by how other people treat immigrants?  Do you greet others who you hear speaking in broken English?  Do you smile at them?  Do you try to help them to feel welcome?  

At other times, at first it may be less obvious when we are strongly affirming the dignity and self-esteem of someone by such warm and kind greetings.  The woman walking down the street, whose presence you acknowledge, and thus encourage to realize her own self-worth, may have been slapped in the face earlier in the day by her husband who habitually abuses her.  I am not speaking of a hypothetical scenario here.  Here in Redwood City I have met a homeless woman who, I have been told by multiple people, is regularly beaten by her boyfriend.  When others greet her respectfully, they are tending to her with a healing salve of gentle kindness applied lovingly to the emotional wounds which have been inflicted on her.  

We do well to consider the wounds borne in our midst.  When Catholics pray the rosary, Catholics meditate at times on Jesus being scourged, or whipped, at the pillar soon before He was crucified.*  Jesus was beaten not only at the pillar.  Jesus has told us that whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.**  Jesus, present in our neighbor who has been abused, is in the person walking toward us on the street.  When we acknowledge our neighbor, we value the presence of Jesus among us.  When we tend to the wounds of our neighbor, we follow Jesus.  

Jesus explained that we are to attend to others who are suffering along our path.  In the Gospel of Luke, we hear that 

There was a scholar of the law who stood up to test Jesus and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  

Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?”  

He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  

He replied to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”  

But because he wished to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”  

Jesus replied, “A man fell victim to robbers as he went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. They stripped and beat him and went off leaving him half-dead.  A priest happened to be going down that road, but when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.  Likewise a Levite came to the place, and when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.  But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him was moved with compassion at the sight.  He approached the victim, poured oil and wine over his wounds and bandaged them. Then he lifted him up on his own animal, took him to an inn and cared for him.  The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper with the instruction, ‘Take care of him. If you spend more than what I have given you, I shall repay you on my way back.’  Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?”  

He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” 

Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”*** 

In hearing the parable of the Good Samaritan, we think of this parable as conveying a duty to care for our neighbor, not necessarily involving someone literally who has been beaten and is lying by the side of the road.  However, in our lives we come into contact with people who have been abused.  We might pass them without acknowledging their presence, without affirming their dignity and worth, and thus unintentionally contribute to the mistreatment they have been suffering.  Or we can greet them respectfully, giving them support which is much more valuable to them than we realize.  

Do we want to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others, especially when such small offers of warmth and kindness are easily within our power to share with others?  Do you think that you love your neighbors by acknowledging their presence and thus showing them respect?  If so, then go, and do likewise.    

* John 19:1 
** Matthew 25:40 
*** Luke 10:25-37 

Fear Not Foreigners

Today we are faced with a fundamental choice: do we fear, or do we love?  Do we close our hearts to those in need, or do we open our hearts and our doors to people desperate for help?  

We face this choice each and every day.  At times this choice is brought into sharp relief by what is happening in our world.  

We have been encountering this tension since before we can remember our history as humans.  Two millenia ago, Jesus and His disciples were subjected to exclusion because people feared them as strangers.  In today's Gospel reading, we hear that 

Jesus and his disciples came to the other side of the sea, 
to the territory of the Gerasenes.  
When he got out of the boat, 
at once a man from the tombs 
who had an unclean spirit met him.  
The man had been dwelling among the tombs,
and no one could restrain him any longer, even with a chain.
In fact, he had frequently been bound with shackles and chains, 
but the chains had been pulled apart by him 
and the shackles smashed, 
and no one was strong enough to subdue him.
Night and day among the tombs and on the hillsides 
he was always crying out and bruising himself with stones.  
Catching sight of Jesus from a distance, 
he ran up and prostrated himself before him, 
crying out in a loud voice, 
"What have you to do with me, 
Jesus, Son of the Most High God?  
I adjure you by God, do not torment me!"  
(He had been saying to him, 
"Unclean spirit, come out of the man!")  
He asked him, "What is your name?"  
He replied, "Legion is my name. There are many of us."  
And he pleaded earnestly with him 
not to drive them away from that territory.  

Now a large herd of swine was feeding there on the hillside.  
And they pleaded with him, 
"Send us into the swine. Let us enter them."  
And he let them, 
and the unclean spirits came out and entered the swine.  
The herd of about two thousand rushed down a steep bank 
into the sea, 
where they were drowned.  
The swineherds ran away and reported the incident in the town 
and throughout the countryside.  
And people came out to see what had happened.  
As they approached Jesus, 
they caught sight of the man 
who had been possessed by Legion, 
sitting there clothed and in his right mind.  
And they were seized with fear.  
Those who witnessed the incident 
explained to them what had happened 
to the possessed man and to the swine.  
Then they began to beg him to leave their district.  
As he was getting into the boat, 
the man who had been possessed pleaded to remain with him.  
But Jesus would not permit him but told him instead, 
"Go home to your family and announce to them 
all that the Lord in his pity has done for you." 
Then the man went off 
and began to proclaim in the Decapolis 
what Jesus had done for him; 
and all were amazed.*  

Today I heard a brief sermon on this Gospel passage which provided new insight about it to me.  This morning here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House, as we usually do on Monday mornings, we gathered with each other and with other Catholic Workers from around the San Francisco Bay Area.  After updating each other about our lives, we moved into the living room for our liturgy together.  Our dear friend Steve, who is a Jesuit priest, presided at our house Mass here.  In his brief sermon, Steve explained to us that in these verses, Jesus and His disciples had traveled out of Jewish territory.  During this story, they were strangers to the people they met.  

The residents of that area asked them to leave.  We are told that they were afraid when they saw the man who had been possessed by a demon, who used to scream and bruise himself with rocks, now sitting in his right mind.  

Why did they ask Jesus and His disciples to leave?  Jesus and His disciples were strangers to them.  Jesus had just performed a miracle, expelling a demon out of a man who had been hitherto known for his screaming and bruising himself with stones.  The people living in that area could not understand how this man had just been miraculously transformed from being a madman into a mentally stable, sane person.  

People fear what they do not understand.  People fear what and who they do not know.  People fear the stranger.  People fear someone else they haven't gotten to know, when they haven't spent time with that person.  

We make judgments about people based on little or no information.  We fear people when we know nothing about them.   

If we're busy fearing someone, we are closing our hearts to them.  If we fear our neighbor, we are closing our hearts also to God, for we are closing ourselves off from the love which God wishes to shower upon us through our neighbor.  If we fear our neighbor, we cannot open our hearts to be able to love our neighbor.  

In love there is no room for fear, for perfect love drives out fear.**  When we purely love, we do not fear the person in front of us.  If we purely love, we do not fear what might happen through our decision to love.  When we perfectly love, we simply extend the love which is needed by the person in front of us.  

Unfortunately people are often motivated by fear to exclude others they do not know, have never or barely met, and who they do not understand.  As the mayor of Philadelphia recently described, at the airport there this weekend, officials detained and then turned away Syrian refugees.  He related that by all accounts they had waited to obtain months to obtain the proper documentation to be able to legally enter the U.S.  He added that they were being sent back to a war-ravaged nation.  They will be endangered for various reasons.  

Jesus was similarly endangered.  When Jesus was a baby, He and Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother Mary were refugees.  They fled from their home country to Egypt.***  As if these details of their flight into Egypt were not enough to make us recognize Jesus in refugees among us, Jesus has told us that whatever we do to the least of those among us, we do to Him.****  Jesus has explained to us that when we fail to welcome the stranger, we reject Him.*****  When we turn away refugees, we refuse to welcome Jesus.  

When we fear what might happen to us from loving someone else, we cannot love that other person.  When we fear, we wall ourselves off from love.  In fearing our neighbor, we close ourselves off from what we might learn from our neighbor.  By fearing our neighbor, we refuse to learn from our neighbor.  

I have learned in my own life that we have much to learn from people of foreign cultures.  When I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco, I enjoyed the gracious hospitality of  Moroccans who were Muslim.  I had never before been offered such generous hospitality by anyone in the United States.  

Which of us living here in the United States would invite a stranger into our home to share lunch with us?  Many foreigners who visit Morocco receive exactly such a welcome.  After being treated to such a meal by Moroccans they have just met, guests are often told by their Moroccan hosts that if they would like to lay down, and even nap, they may do so.  Which of us here in the states would extend such hospitality to someone we had just met?  

While I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, another Peace Corps Volunteer asked me how my life would be different once I returned to the states.  I replied that I was looking forward to extending hospitality to others.  And so I was influenced in my decision to enter a reformed Benedictine monastic community, since Benedictine monks offer hospitality to visitors.  I was influenced in my decision to enter monastic life at the hermitage in Big Sur because Moroccans had implicitly encouraged me to extend hospitality to others through their own shining examples.  

Similarly, I was influenced in my decision to become a Catholic Worker, practicing hospitality, and reaching out to those who are homeless, because Moroccans had shown me the importance of providing hospitality.  They had provided me outstanding examples of how to extend hospitality to others.  

I learned how to extend hospitality from Moroccans, who are Muslim.  To exclude all people of certain religions, or of particular nations, as is current practice, is to wall ourselves off from what they have to teach us.  If we refuse to welcome entire groups of people, we refuse many opportunities to love, to learn and to grow.  If we reject whole groups of people, we reject Jesus many times.  If we refuse to welcome refugees, we reject Jesus in our actions, regardless of whether we claim to be compassionate toward refugees.  

We choose everyday whether or not we will welcome the stranger.  We decide each day if we will open our hearts to love our neighbor or if out of fear we will close ourselves off to our neighbor.  We must always be deciding whether we will choose to learn from our neighbor and grow as loving human beings, or if we will choose to exclude our neighbor and refuse to be taught by him or her.  

If we have humility, we will want to learn from our neighbor.  We will realize that even though someone is different from us, we can learn from that person.  

If we have humility, we will embrace opportunities to learn, and thus grow, and thus love better.  If we are not humble, we will reject chances to learn from our neighbor, walling ourselves off from how God seeks to teach us through our neighbor.  

Always we are presented with these choices on our spiritual path.  Everyday we must choose between love and fear.  

* Mark 5:1-20 
** 1 John 4:18 
*** Matthew 2:13-15 
**** Matthew 25:40 
***** Matthew 25:43 

Discerning My Vocation

Sometime before the end of the summer, I'll be moving on from the Catholic Worker House here in Redwood City.  Both the other Catholic Workers here and I have agreed that it's not a good fit here with me.  

Recently I've realized that I have performed best in my life where there has been more rather than less structure.  Here at the house the day unfolds in a fairly unstructured way, even relative to other Catholic Worker Houses where I've lived or visited.  

I've also known for a while that obedience is a strength God has given me.  I don't have a problem with work where I am told what to do; in fact, when I'm instructed to do something, I work well.  At Catholic Worker Houses, workers may function in an egalitarian fashion or may take direction from a worker who exercises more authority.  Here at the Redwood City Catholic Worker House, it's decided in an unregimented way who does which work.  Each person is free to autonomously decide on what tasks he or she is going to work.  

Going forward, as I discern my vocation, I am being reminded that God has blessed me with many traits and strengths with which God has prepared me for my vocation, for the specific ministry to which God has been calling me.  I feel that God has led me to maintain certain spiritual practices and disciplines to help me seek Him and to love and adore and glorify and praise Him and to help me to love and serve my neighbor.  

I feel nourished when I silently sit still in solitude trying to listen to God.  I cherish the spiritual practices I learned from the warm, wonderful monks at the hermitage where I lived for a year and a half.  I still try to live out these monastic practices, continuing to embrace the inner monk dwelling within me.  

Yet I have been enjoying spiritual community, including while attending Mass daily, worshipping God and celebrating His blessings, praising Him, and often I have been sitting in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  I feel joy these days, including when I aim to serve my neighbor, especially those amongst us who are the most impoverished, including people who are homeless.  I am grateful to God that I can offer to hospitality to others here, especially to those who are sorely in need.  I revel in living simply.  It seems to me that I am being myself, I am being who I am, who God created me to be when I strive to live in this way.  

So how am I to live out these spiritual disciplines?  What is my vocation?  Recently I started meeting with a new spiritual director.  While speaking with him, we discussed how I am to aspire to have a blank slate in my spirit.  In talking with Jesus about who I am, and how I am to live and to be, I am to do my best to remain totally open to what Jesus is trying to help me see about myself.  I strive to have the humility to be a simple servant, ready to carry out the will of God in my life.  I want to open my heart to God, so that God can work through me.  I want God to do His work through me.  

And so I wait to see where God is inviting me.  God is leading us into all Truth, including The Truth of who He is and the truth of who we are.  If we have faith, and thus are open to God leading us, Jesus, as The Way, will lead us into Himself, into The Truth, and we will have Him, The Life.*  If He abides in us and we in Him,** we will have life, and abundantly have it.***  If we will but listen to God, and follow Him, we will have true joy, borne of the truth of who we are in relation to God.  No one can take this joy away from us.****    

I seek the truth of who I am and who God is.  This is the way to true life.  This is true joy.  

* John 14:6 
** John 15:4 
*** John 10:10 
**** John 16:22