The truth of who we are echoes over our lives. The persistent emergence of our identity resounds in our souls, a message which, in its recurrence, repeatedly encourages us to stay true to who God faithfully calls us to be, and to evermore become.
During my present stay here at the hermitage, I have been witnessing how my life continues to unfold consistently in ways which reinforce how God calls me to be who He has always meant me to be. In the midst of this stay here, I hear my life echoing who I am.
These few days of retreat seem like they can be taken as a tiny version of the year and a half I lived here. In the ebb and flow of my emotions now, and in the present stirrings in my soul, and in the current movements of the Holy Spirit within me, I am reminded of similar interior shifts when I resided here.
Much like when I moved in a few years ago to live here, similarly a couple of nights ago I was filled with joy and excitement at the prospect of basking in the stillness and silence and solitude here, so conducive to prayer and meditation. Upon both arrivals, I deeply breathed in this contemplative atmosphere.
Both three years ago and two days ago, I calmed down soon after arriving. I began to take stock of who I am, namely someone with monastic tendencies, yet also with great love of those who are poor. Then I came to see myself, and now I view myself, as a servant of those who are impoverished, and as having an inner monk I am to nourish through spiritual disciplines I can follow even in the midst of whatever activity occupies me.
I practiced such attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit amidst busy days while I still lived here. After I had lived here for about half a year, I started driving monks who couldn't drive, usually to their doctor appointments. Today, about halfway through this visit, I drove to Carmel and picked up a monk; he was on his way back from monastic business with other Camaldolese monks in Italy. After meeting him in Carmel, I brought him back here to the hermitage.
As I progressed in my residence here, I concluded that it didn't seem that God was calling me to become a monk here, but that God had been calling me to be here so I could deepen my prayer life. Similarly, while I have been deeply nourished during the last couple of days here, it seems clear to me that I am to ponder in my heart, as our Blessed Mother Mary did.* I feel I am to retain and treasure what has so nurtured me and allow it to guide me and to empower me and to light my path** as I strive to serve my neighbors, many of whom are poor. As the Trappist monk Thomas Merton noted, we are to bring the contemplative treasures we have been given and share those spiritual fruits out in the world. We are to share with others the great love which God has bestowed upon us.
To properly serve, we must show great love. If we empty ourselves, God can fill us with His love. Nourished by the presence of Jesus, especially felt in stillness and silence and solitude, we can help others to feel the presence of Jesus. If we remain in Jesus, and Jesus in us,*** we can bear much fruit in His name; conversely, without Him, we can do nothing.**** If we are filled with the love of God,***** we can recognize Jesus in those who are the least among us,****** and we can welcome Jesus into our hearts.
When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we hear and welcome The Word which God has been speaking in eternity. The Word, the love of God, has been echoing for all eternity. We hear this echo calling to us in the depths of our souls. When we hear, and listen to, and respond with open hearts to this repeating invitation, we become who God has always intended us to be.
* Luke 2:19
** Psalm 119:105
*** John 15:4,5,6,7,9,10
**** John 15:5
***** Romans 5:5
****** Matthew 25:40,45
During my present stay here at the hermitage, I have been witnessing how my life continues to unfold consistently in ways which reinforce how God calls me to be who He has always meant me to be. In the midst of this stay here, I hear my life echoing who I am.
These few days of retreat seem like they can be taken as a tiny version of the year and a half I lived here. In the ebb and flow of my emotions now, and in the present stirrings in my soul, and in the current movements of the Holy Spirit within me, I am reminded of similar interior shifts when I resided here.
Much like when I moved in a few years ago to live here, similarly a couple of nights ago I was filled with joy and excitement at the prospect of basking in the stillness and silence and solitude here, so conducive to prayer and meditation. Upon both arrivals, I deeply breathed in this contemplative atmosphere.
Both three years ago and two days ago, I calmed down soon after arriving. I began to take stock of who I am, namely someone with monastic tendencies, yet also with great love of those who are poor. Then I came to see myself, and now I view myself, as a servant of those who are impoverished, and as having an inner monk I am to nourish through spiritual disciplines I can follow even in the midst of whatever activity occupies me.
I practiced such attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit amidst busy days while I still lived here. After I had lived here for about half a year, I started driving monks who couldn't drive, usually to their doctor appointments. Today, about halfway through this visit, I drove to Carmel and picked up a monk; he was on his way back from monastic business with other Camaldolese monks in Italy. After meeting him in Carmel, I brought him back here to the hermitage.
As I progressed in my residence here, I concluded that it didn't seem that God was calling me to become a monk here, but that God had been calling me to be here so I could deepen my prayer life. Similarly, while I have been deeply nourished during the last couple of days here, it seems clear to me that I am to ponder in my heart, as our Blessed Mother Mary did.* I feel I am to retain and treasure what has so nurtured me and allow it to guide me and to empower me and to light my path** as I strive to serve my neighbors, many of whom are poor. As the Trappist monk Thomas Merton noted, we are to bring the contemplative treasures we have been given and share those spiritual fruits out in the world. We are to share with others the great love which God has bestowed upon us.
To properly serve, we must show great love. If we empty ourselves, God can fill us with His love. Nourished by the presence of Jesus, especially felt in stillness and silence and solitude, we can help others to feel the presence of Jesus. If we remain in Jesus, and Jesus in us,*** we can bear much fruit in His name; conversely, without Him, we can do nothing.**** If we are filled with the love of God,***** we can recognize Jesus in those who are the least among us,****** and we can welcome Jesus into our hearts.
When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we hear and welcome The Word which God has been speaking in eternity. The Word, the love of God, has been echoing for all eternity. We hear this echo calling to us in the depths of our souls. When we hear, and listen to, and respond with open hearts to this repeating invitation, we become who God has always intended us to be.
* Luke 2:19
** Psalm 119:105
*** John 15:4,5,6,7,9,10
**** John 15:5
***** Romans 5:5
****** Matthew 25:40,45
No comments:
Post a Comment